Love Me
by BlindBeyondSight
Summary: "Good night, Lavi" was the last thing the redhead heard before he shut the hotel door behind him. The voice sounded like pleading, as if the boy really meant "Come back soon." AU LAVEN. Mature.
1. Occupation

Hey guys, it's BBS. Please know that this fanfiction contains prostitution. If this makes you uncomfortable, please turn back now; Mr. Backbutton is ready to escort you out. :] I will assure you though that I will not write many explicit scenes (besides the Laven of course ahahah) and this is not a fic based on simply sex (haha bummer ain't it?) but a relationship strung upon difficult circumstances. Please enjoy and review if you feel it necessary 3

Disclaimer: This has been disclaimed.

To Love…: A Laven.

"Good Night Lavi." Was the last thing Lavi heard before he shut the hotel door. The voice sounded like pleading, as if the young boy really meant "come back soon."

"Good Night…Allen."

This was his third encounter with Allen Walker. His clothes were put on all wrong and his red hair was mussed up and tangled. He put on his coat and headed back to his apartment in downtown Tokyo.

Allen sat in the messy sheets—he was naked, and cold. He was still poised leaning in the direction of the door Lavi had closed. His vacant silver eyes were fixed on the doorknob. His eyes closed as silent tears flooded from them. He pulled the sheets around him closer to his body.

iWill I ever see you again Lavi?/i

-----

A few minutes later, Lavi closed the door to his spacious apartment and collapsed on the couch. There he laid until morning—when he had to return to work.

-----

A knock on the door.

Knock

Knock

Knock

Allen hurriedly pulled on his silky night robe as he stood on his pale, skinny, long legs. He had earned himself a title in the world of Prostitution. He was always called the Kitty for his convincing false innocence and "curiosity". Not to mention his tendency to purr.

"I'll be right there sweety." He called in a sweet voice. He made sure the bed was all ready to go, the sheets were warm and freshly laundered and there was a faint intoxicating scent of lilac in the air. He opened the door and smiled mischievously.

"Welcome back." He purred, pulling the man into his room.

The two sat on Allen's bed. The older one was sitting on the edge, and Allen was straddling his hips just like a small child.

"Did you have something to say?" he whispered into an ear. His finger traced up and down the man's clothed chest.

The man shivered before speaking.

"This may be the last time we meet. My wife knows." He whispered back; gently stroking Allen's pure white hair.

"Then I suppose," Allen began, nipping at the ear gently.

"We'll have to make this…memorable." He finished, instantly pushing the man onto his plush bed, still straddling those thin hips. He tore at the buttons of the man's shirt; letting part of his own silky robe fall seductively off of his shoulder. It was a trick he had learned a year ago, it always drove them crazy. Almost as if on cue, Allen was tackled onto the bed.

A small mewl left his pert pink lips as his hazy silver eyes began to close.

At least he'd have money for breakfast tomorrow.

Thanks for reading! And for those of you who are curious, I have NO idea who the random guy is. xDD I'll let your imaginations wander..


	2. Lifestyle

Haha I know this is a pretty risqué type fanfiction and many of you guys don't agree with Allen's choices etc, but please be respectful and if you don't like it, then Mr. Backbutton will be more than happy to escort you out.

"Coffee—black please." Lavi ordered tiredly. He was on his way to work. He was a photographer for professional models as well as landscape scenery just for fun every now and then.

He grabbed his coffee and ran out of the shop, a magazine tucked under his arm. He slipped into his sleek black convertible and drove off towards the most decorated building in Tokyo.

He took a swig of his cooled coffee as he walked into those automatic glass doors. Suddenly, a crowd of people were following him.

"Lavi-sama good job on that shoot, she got hired!"

"Lavi, remember that Miyoko doesn't like it when she's in front of the commercial fan."

"Lavi-san, you have an executive appearance on television tomorrow night!"

"Lavi-kun, have my pictures been developed yet baby?"

Only half listening to them, Lavi walked into his office where immediately the crowd dispersed. He had a few minutes to himself that day before the next photo shoot. He might as well sleep.

Lavi laid down on his leather couch in his glass office and pressed a button over his head.

"Nana, remember to wake me up in 23 minutes." He called lazily.

"Sure thing Lavi-sama. Have a nice nap." She replied over the speakers.

Lavi sighed and went to sleep, dreaming of that enchanting white-haired boy last night…

-----

Allen awoke to the blaring of his alarm clock. It was already morning. That was what he got for working so many night shifts last night. But it was necessary if he wanted to survive. He stood and groaned, holding his lower back. The last man last night was sure feisty. He partially limped over to his makeup desk where he looked in the mirror. He had bite marks all over his neck and collarbone and a few bruises on his chest. He shrugged.

It was typical that his clients went crazy with his charm.

There were four $50 bills, fanned out on his desk with a small note.

iI'll miss you my kitten. Tonight was spectacular./i Allen smiled and picked up the money. Hopefully this would help him buy food and other clothes for a few more days (before his next string of clients). The man from last night must've felt particularly generous considering

It was their last meeting

He had bitten Allen MULTIPLE times even when he was told not to

They had sex more than 3 times that night.

Allen shuddered remembering how by the last time, his body was as limp as a ragdoll. That man must've been on a few gallons of coffee because it was iexhausting/i.

Allen felt achy all over, but his stomach growled profusely; reminding him that he hadn't eaten anything besides 2 protein bars, a water bottle, and a tangerine in the past 3 days. He never knew how he himself did it. He took on client after client every night. He had to if he wanted to eat anytime soon, but he had to endure the first few paydays before he would spend anything. It was just how he lived.

-----

"Good Good! Hold it, hold it right there. Okay nice one." Lavi called out as he took picture after picture of the latest model in the agency. Maybe after this he could grab lunch. He was starrrrrrving.

The model smiled in between shots at Lavi. She most likely (being new and all) still hadn't figured out that females were not Lavi's main interests. Lavi held the camera to his eye and continued to snap picture after picture, just wishing lunch time was here.


	3. Encounter

Allen walked into the café with tight fitting jeans, a V-neck t-shirt, a light hooded jacket, and tennis shoes. Just because he was a notable prostitute didn't mean he had to LOOK like a slut all the time. He had a life beyond the sex industry.

"I'd like aaaaaaaaa…Club sandwich with a side of potato fries and a bowl of tomato soup please." He asked sweetly, smiling at the cash register lady.

He carefully carried the tray as his eyes hungrily stared at the steaming plate (and bowl) of food as he walked over and sat down. His mouth was already experiencing intense salivation, drool almost spilling from his frosty pink lips. He resisted temptation and pressed his hands together in prayer.

iDear Lord…Thank you for the food I am about to eat, please watch over me and forgive me for my reckless occupation. Amen./i

As ironic as it was with the white-haired boy being a prostitute and all, Allen prayed every day, he prayed for a better life where he wasn't just loved for his body or what things he could do—but for his heart and soul. This time, his prayer was short because he was frankly, ravenous. He grabbed the sandwich and took a big bite out of it. It looked like a shark-bitten surfboard.

Afterwards, Allen took smaller bites, to savor what would probably be his last full meal. The rest of the money had to go to renting out the hotel room he stayed at and getting a few bottles of water to drink and rehydrate himself after "finishing a job".

He grabbed a fat potato-slice like French fry and took a dainty bite of it, setting the sandwich in his other hand down onto the plate. His demure white wrist protruded from his jacket sleeve as he carefully sipped the soup from a small soup spoon.

There was a small jingle (which Allen ignored in his feeding frenzy) from the door as a certain starving red-head walked in for a lunch well earned.

"Welcome to Kingston Café, what can I get for you today?" came a nasal female voice.

"I'll have the tuna sub with a bag of potato chips—original, and large Pepsi—Diet." came the immediate answer.

After fishing $13.96 out of his pockets, Lavi searched for a nearby seat before spotting a flash of silver-white hair. With a small smirk, he approached the docile figure and sat down in front of it.

"May I join you?" he asked with a playful smile.

Allen choked on his soup with strangled coughs as he stared at Lavi. He brought a napkin to his lips and coughed into it before settling down. The photographer offered his Diet Pepsi with a smile.

"Need any?"

"No…thanks." He answered with a forced smile between coughs, holding up a hand in a "no thanks" gesture.

Lavi shrugged and withdrew the drink.

"Suit yourself."

The two sat in a terribly piercing awkward silence. But then again, it would've been even stranger if it WEREN'T awkward meeting a client, whom you've been intimate with, at a café where you'd probably be having your last meal of the week.

AWKKKKWARRRRRRRRRRRRD. xDD Please Review if you have the time :]


	4. Caring

"So," the silence was broken; courtesy of Lavi.

"How's everything been going?" he asked almost sounding a bit worried.

"G-Good, good!" Allen exclaimed, clearing his throat.

Lavi nodded, "Hm, that's nice. Are you feeling okay from last…?" Lavi waved his  
hand in a gesture that hopefully let Allen know what he meant.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." Allen laughed quietly, "I mean I should be used to it by now  
huh?" he whispered-his face sobering up.

Lavi stared at the sullen, yet exotically beautiful face; he had never seen Allen in  
this light before, the white-haired boy was even more stunning when Lavi's vision  
wasn't hazed by lust. Lavi's hands rested on his hands-whose elbows rested on  
the tabletop.

Neither of the two touched their food, not even making eye contact for a few  
minutes before Lavi once again took it upon himself to break the silence.

"Do you ever want to do something more?" he asked gently, cautiously, almost  
sympathetically.

Allen straightened up, automatically deriving a sexual meaning from it.

"Wh-What do you mean by _that_?!?!"

Lavi stared dumbstruck before retracing his words and laughing.

"Nononono, I meant have you ever considered another…occupation?"

"Well…this seems to be the only thing I was ever good at." Allen said sorrowfully.  
Sure it was shameful, that the only thing he could succeed at was "entertaining" clients. But Allen would have never seen this coming as a small child. He wanted to be a model.

Allen Walker was always a little different from the other little boys on the playground. They played football, and he sat on the bleachers dreaming of what outfit he could wear the next day.

He'd take pictures of himself when he was lonely for he had no friends. His guardian-Cross Marian was always telling him that with his ugly scar and arm, he'd never make it in the fashion industry.

_Allen would never make it._

"You're really beautiful." Lavi commented out of the blue; shaking Allen from his 'flashback'.

"Lots of people tell me that…it seems to no longer hold meaning." Allen whispered.

People always called him beautiful. But that was mostly when they still had theirs dicks up his ass.

Allen had already learned that the world they lived in was a cruel one. He had already built a wall between himself and his clients, the world. It was necessary for him to survive in this industry. Is this where all fallen models ended up?  
Prostitutes selling their bodies for money and hopefully a brief moment where they'd feel loved? Wanted? Needed?

Lavi could sense the hurt in Allen's voice. He had only seen this boy for few days but already he was utterly fascinated with him. Not even in a sexual way any longer. There was no lust…just a feeling of something he couldn't put his finger on…protection? He had the urge to protect this small frail body from the rest of the world…

"But thank you." Allen added. He wouldn't want to lose any clients now did he?

Lavi smiled, "You know, I think you should take my word for it this time. After all, I see beautiful women all the time."

Allen had thoughts winding through his mind at a thousand miles per hour. Was Lavi a pornography photographer? Why would he be surrounded by ladies? Was he also a male prostitute? What was he?!

Seeing the confusion on the white-haired boy's face, Lavi smirked, "I'm a fashion photographer." He elaborated.

Allen choked on his soup again. How embarrassing. Lavi laughed at the sight of Allen once again pressing a napkin to his mouth. Lavi took out a digital camera from his jacket pocket and smiled-snapping a picture of Allen's panicked face.

"You know, even when you're panicking you're picture perfect." He commented with a grin.

Allen's pale face heated up and flushed with color as Lavi showed him the picture.

He didn't look **bad**, but Allen was still embarrassed.

"Hey," Lavi began, standing up, "Here's my card. I have to leave now, but call me if you need anything alright?" With a small bow, Lavi left the restaurant, leaving his lunch untouched. Allen looked around before curiously peeking at the lunch the redhead left.

There was a crinkle from the paper the tuna sub was wrapped in, and it smelled _delicious_. The bag of chips were also intact as well as the soda Lavi had only taken a few sips from. Had he done this on purpose? How did he know? After poking around a bit, Allen fell upon a card. Had Lavi forgotten it?! Allen panicked before reading what the card said-it was a gift card…to…here? Allen grabbed the card and ran to the register.

"Um excuse, me I believe the redhead man that was just here left this behind."

"Oh no, he told me that card was for you sir."

"What?" was all Allen could say. Why? How?

"Why-yes. The man told me to put $50 on this card for you."

Allen stood there-motionless with the small card clutched in his hand.

"Oh..well then thank you." He whispered before stumbling back to his seat. He sank into the wooden chair, running a hand through his hair. He dazedly ordered a bag for all the food he-and Lavi had not eaten. Perhaps he could eat it later when he got his appetite back.

Why was Lavi being so nice? How did he know that Allen…that Allen could barely afford to spend money on food? How did he know?

Allen walked back to his hotel-smiling through his tears.

So somebody _did_ care.

-----

**Aww~ Allennnnn!! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. More chappies to come! Review if you want. :D**


	5. Empty

Lavi ran a hand through his crimson hair as he walked through the automatic doors of the studio. He smiled at his camera; at Allen. He could be so cute sometimes…

-----

Allen locked the door and set the "to go" bag on a nearby counter before running towards his bed, jumping on it, falling onto it, and snuggling with a pillow. He rolled around for a bit before laying still-his pure white hair covering one eye playfully.

He couldn't exactly explain why he was so happy besides the fact that he finally found a client who seemed to care at least just a little bi-

Knock

Knock

Knock

Allen froze on his bed before slowly standing up; leaving the pillow behind.

"Wh-Who's there?" this was strange…he didn't usually have clients in the morning.

"I think you know who it is Allen-kun." was the low answer. Allen's body grew rigid.

"Open the door." Allen flinched.

A moment of silence.

"I said. Open. The. Door."

Allen finally gave in and opened the door a crack…

…only to be tackled and ravished with bites and kisses.

The uncertain white-haired boy backed up a few steps only to be shoved roughly onto his bed with a surprised yelp. Sinisterly mischievous eyes looked down on him-laughing.

"It's been so long Allen, don't you know it's nice to give your guest a proper greeting?" came a sneer.

Allen opened his mouth to reply, but was immediately cut off by lips roughly pressing against his. A slimy tongue began to violate his mouth as he panicked, already eagle spread and straddled on the bed. He had just become prisoner of his own room.

Allen couldn't breathe, he felt like he was being suffocated; inhaling cotton. His hands were placed on the other man's forearms to push him away, but he was too weak from malnutrition and was already a bit lightheaded.

Finally. _Finally_, Allen was granted air. With a desperately loud gasp for air, Allen coughed roughly.

"Tyki…Mikk…"

A smirk.

"Correct."

Allen's clothing came off faster than he could utter a "stop". His hands covered his eyes, too ashamed to reveal them much less wanting to see what would happen next. He shuddered when he felt lips brush against his ear.

"Come now Allen, let's not be rude…show me what you're worth." came the mocking voice.

Allen was torn…he wanted to be left alone; he didn't want to do this right now. Not after feeling so loved…but he needed this money. He needed it.

Shaky hands slowly ran down Tyki's chest, nervously undoing the buttons.

_I need the money…I need this._

Allen sat up slightly and apprehensively slid the shirt from the man's shoulders, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

Bad move. Tyki's tongue was once again fighting against Allen's, Allen once again-suffocating. Allen grew frantic and began to quickly undo the man's pants, gently gripping the erection underneath.

Tyki pulled away and groaned deeply. Apparently, he'd been like this for some time.

"Very good Allen." A teasingly silky voice prompted. Allen shivered, he could already feel the man's eyes violating him.

Allen's hand timidly ran up and down the length of Tyki Mikk's arousal earning him another groan.

"Ahhh!" Allen cried when he felt his hair being fisted.

"That's huUUURTTS." Allen's head was forced downward toward Tyki's arousal).

This was going to be a long night.

-----

Allen's silver eyes were dead, staring into nothingness.

"Good Night Allen-kun~. Had fun."

Click.

Soft gasps could be heard from Allen's sobs. He felt so empty…violated, abused, and broken. All the love was drained from his soul and all that was in his mind was a replay of all the traumatic events that just occurred.

_Come one Allen, show me what you're worth._

My little bitch…

Better step it up if you want anything in return, slut.

You like it don't you, you little whore.

Tears painted the pillow Allen had cuddled about an hour ago as small whimpers echoed in the small room, he sounded like a damn wounded puppy. His body was curled into fetal position, convulsing with shivers at the breeze of being exposed. He didn't feel human. He didn't feel alive.

He didn't feel loved.


	6. Business

-----  
Allen awoke from his…2 hour long nap. The sun was already beginning to set. It was almost time for him to start "working" again. Even after what had occurred a few hours ago. He groaned loudly as he stood, his legs giving out from under him as he toppled to the floor. Everything hurt, everything _ached_.

Allen grabbed onto the side of his bed, gritting his teeth in pain as he steadied himself. His lower back felt like it was on _fire_. And not in the good way either. He walked over to his night stand to find a 20 dollar bill and a note.

"Perhaps you would've earned more if you had done your job. I'm expecting better next time. Until we play again Allen. –Tyki Mikk"

The weak legged prostitute felt tears welling in those silver eyes. He slammed the drawer of his nightstand shut and shakily walked over to his closet. He'd need a decent outfit if he wanted to get the really rich guys.

Allen was blessed with a small and lanky body-feminine even. He looked through the hangers in his closet until he picked out a black dress that ended just above his knees. It resembled a schoolgirl outfit, complete with a small white bow right under his collarbone. The bottom of the dress was plaited, layered and flared out while the waist clung tightly to his tiny waist. He wore black flats with white bows over the toes. He couldn't handle wearing heels tonight considering the condition of his back. There would be a party downstairs in the hotel lobby tonight…

Perfect.

Allen grabbed his hotel key card and stuffed it into a pocket in his skirt and buttoned the top of the pocket. He didn't want to lose it while dancing.

-----

Allen sauntered (painfully admittedly) onto the dance floor after elegantly descending the winding stairwell. He'd already caught the eyes of several men. He needed to pick one that could pay the most.

He slipped into the center of the dance floor, a little off center, but still near the spotlights. His sighed and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the night to come.

His hips began to slowly sway to the contagious beat, his eyes opening only when lights flashed on and off in staccato beats His small pink tongue ran over his pouty coral lips. He could already feel eyes weighing down on his body. It was like a 6th sense to him now. His eyes were open and he scanned the room, smiling devilishly at the "gentlemen" staring at him. He wondered just how many knew he was a boy.

His arms lifted into the air as he danced, his head tipping back delicately before he continued to dance, his hand seductively running through his ivory white hair as he bit his lip sensually before his eyes zoomed in on a particular "fan" that seemed to be quite wealthy. His body was turned toward him as the man casually walked over to Allen, dancing near him for a while before finally confronting Allen.

"May I ask a name?" he whispered in a low, silky voice, obviously seeking a night of thrills.

Allen's normally wide silver eyes were lowered slightly for a smoky effect.

"Allen." He responded simply, watching as the man's eyes widened before returning to normal size. Allen was used to the reaction and wasn't bothered in the least.

A slow song began to play and Allen's arms wrapped around the other man's as he danced, being pulled closer by said man. Allen looked at his client-to-be's features; he didn't look that much older than Allen, perhaps 20 or 21. He had green eyes, but not as deep and crystalline as Lavi's. He had brown hair and looked nice enough, but still-he didn't have bright, blazon red hair like Lavi's.

Wait! Why was he thinking about Lavi while with another client?! This was just wrong…it had never happened before…it seemed his mind had been captured.

Only his mind? The ivory skinned boy had yet to figure out.

"What do I have to do to get you to stay with me tonight?" whispered the other  
man huskily into Allen's ear.

"I charge." was Allen's simple answer.

"How much?"

Allen pondered how much was just right.

"$125."

"Done."

"My room's upstairs…"


	7. Protection

Hey, it's BBS! Thank you guys so much for those that reviewed and subscribed etc. They really do bring a smile to my face and encourage me to write faster/more. I hope I'm doing okay with this fic. Hahahaa, sorry if I screw things up here or there, I'm not all that perfect but I do try my best :] Enjoy and review if you have the time! Thank you

The next morning, Allen smiled at the money on his nightstand.

Score.

He flinched slightly as he got out of bed. He could hear the cars rushing by on their morning commutes. His spindly legs carefully walked to his nightstand and he stared at the paper. But it wasn't the money, it was the business card Lavi had given him.

Lavi…

For the past few days the white haired boy could do nothing but think about the redhead…why was he so magnetized to him? What was so special about Lavi? Allen continued to stare blankly at the card. Didn't he say he was a photographer? Maybe that would help him get out of this business…Maybe..

Allen swallowed his apprehension and pride for just long enough to pick up the hotel phone and dial the number.

-----

Lavi smiled behind the camera as a model slipped and fell; still trying to make it look like it was done on purpose. What an idiot. Suddenly, his cell phone began to vibrate. He tried his best to ignore it before sighing and standing up, holding up a finger to signal he'd be back soon.

"Hello?" he answered.

Allen froze. What should he do? What should he SAY?!

"Th..This is Allen." He said plainly, mentally hitting himself for sounding so idiotic.

"Oh, hello Allen, considered anything?"

"Excuse me?" Allen asked, eyes widening in slight innocence.

"I mean, would you like to talk this over dinner or something? I have a very busy schedule today, it'll be very hard for us to talk..so I'll come by around 7? That sound good? Okay, Good Bye."

Allen stuttered out a quick, "G-Goodbye!" before he heard a "click". His heart was racing at over a thousand miles per hour and he felt like hyperventilating. He fell back into the hotel bed and closed his eyes and felt a small smile overtake his face.

Tonight.

But it wasn't long before his excitement was trampled on. What about tonight's clients? He needed the money to stay in this hotel…Was Lavi worth it? Allen felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier before he finally closed them, spiraling into a dreamland where he could escape the harsh reality of everyday.

-----

It was already 7 PM and Lavi waved goodbye to his coworkers as well as some questionable models on his way out. His car beeped twice as he unlocked it from a few feet away. He got into his sleek black car that shined in the rising moon and setting sun and began to drive to an all too familiar place.

Lavi felt his heart strangely flutter as he envisioned the thin boy with feathery white hair and piercingly soulful eyes of mercury. He had finally arrived at the door which was ironically: room 169. He knocked once, twice, three times. No answer.  
He knocked again. No answer…Now he was starting to get worried.

Finally, the redhead cautiously opened the door…only to find a sleeping Allen.

_Should I wake him?_

Lavi quietly walked closer to the peacefully sleeping boy. He didn't even look like a prostitute, he looked just like any other boy that went to school, hugged his mom, tried to please his dad…watch over a younger sister.

He didn't seem like one to stoop to such a level as this.

His emerald green eyes widened before softening at a few streaks of dried tears trailing a path down Allen's face.

Evidently he did not choose this occupation for fun.

Lavi had the urge to do something…anything. He wanted to protect this boy. He wanted to make sure he was safe and he wanted to punch all the men that made him do the things he had to do. He wanted to shake those thin shoulders and yell that Allen did not deserve this. He did not deserve to be denied his childhood. He should be in school, his only worries should be about whether he had finished his homework-not about whether he'd have enough money to eat the next day, the next week.

Allen did not deserve any of this. And Lavi knew it.

The photographer's hands slowly curled into fists, angry that such a world of opportunity could produce such a monstrosity of a fact.

He knew even then, that his life was different. He would fight for this boy. He would fight.

But for now, all he could do was

Lean

In

a little

closer

and place

a small

kiss upon those lips..


	8. Never

Hey, it's BBS! Thank you guys so much for those that reviewed and subscribed etc. They really do bring a smile to my face and encourage me to write faster/more. I hope I'm doing okay with this fic. Hahahaa, sorry if I screw things up here or there, I'm not all that perfect but I do try my best :] Enjoy and review if you have the time! Thank you

Lavi knew this shouldn't be happening. Out of all people he shouldn't be falling for a prostitute. A male one too at that. But it was so hard to break away for his heart was already enraptured by those flickering silver eyes, those rose petal lips, the sheer snow white of his hair the curve of his back-everything. Perhaps this was just lust. Yeah. Just lust.

Allen's eyes fluttered open, unfocused at first, but immediately becoming the size of dinner plates at the fact that someone was kissing him in the darkness.

"Mmmmppph!!" he yelped into Lavi's mouth, his thin fingers gripping Lavi's forearms in panic.

Lavi broke away hurriedly all the two could do was stare awkwardly into each other's eyes in the small orange light coming from outside the slightly open door of Allen's hotel room.

"L-L…Lavi?" Allen whispered, his voice trembling and wavering slightly.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"Mmh..just a little." Allen sheepishly admitted. There was no point in defending  
himself when it was so blatantly obvious he was scared out of his mind.

"I'm sorry…uh, you see I was reaching over to grab something.." Lavi began pathetically, smiling a bit which automatically gave away that it was no accident.

"Why?" Allen asked simply in a small voice.

Lavi sighed and ran a hand through his brilliant red hair. He honestly didn't know  
himself. It was more of an impulse…

"Ahh…well." Lavi tried frantically to center his thoughts. He was the older one damn it! He should have faster reflexes than this.

Allen's heart fluttered. _Did he do it on purpose? Does he like me? As in like me like me?_

"Ahaha well. I guess I just felt like it hm?" Lavi half admitted with a smile.

Allen's eyes grew slightly in size. What did this mean? If it wasn't an accident…Lavi meant to do it right?

"Oh come now Allen, it's not like we've never kissed before." Lavi chided nervously. After all, Lavi had been a client of Allen's over 3 times.

Allen could feel his heart crack a bit. So that was it…he just "felt like it". The white haired boy tried to hide his disappointment by quickly changing the subject.

"Oh my gosh! It's already past 7! I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, I just laid down and rested my eyes and I guess I just ended up drifting off…" Allen began to ramble on and on about what could've possible happened before he fell asleep earlier that day.

Lavi couldn't help but smile, he loved it when Allen got nervous; his cheeks would turn the slightest shade of red, his eyes would divert anywhere it wouldn't make eye contact with Lavi's and he would fidget in the cutest ways possible.

Allen's thin legs swung over the sheets as he stood up shakily his lower back hurt as always and his stomach also growled ravenously. Lavi could detect the slight flinch that shook Allen's frame as he stood. His hand reached out and grabbed  
the other boy's wrist.

"Are you okay?" he asked-concerned.

"M-Me? Am I okay?" Allen looked about ready to cry.

"Yeah you…hey, what's wrong?"

Lavi succeeded alright, in making Allen tear up.

The redhead's nervous smile flipped upside down. He pulled Allen to sit back  
down next to him on his bed.

"Tell me what's wrong." He said his voice coaxing.

Allen shook his head. Honestly, he was already convinced no one wanted to hear  
what he had to say.

"Come on, you can tell me." Lavi said in a softer, gentler voice.

Allen wiped his eyes with his arm and sat there for what seemed like a long  
stretch of silence.

"…no one ever asks me if I'm okay." He admitted; voice full of sorrow. 

It was true. His clients would come into his hotel room, not say anything, fuck him  
senseless and leave. Never did they use even a use condom to prevent the teen from  
contracting a disease. They didn't care; they were just looking for a good time. More often than not Allen would end up crying. But no one ever stopped. They didn't ask him what was wrong. They would tell him to stay quiet, even going so far as gagging him and beating him into silence.

No one ever asked what was wrong.


	9. Feeling

Hey! It's BBS, sorry for not updating in a while, I've been busy with school and all. I tried to make this chapter a bit longer as reimbursement. AHH THE FLUFF. BEWARE. Sorry if it's too fluffy. But I personally thought it was cute. OTL. *kicked* Oh and please, this time I urge you to review. I live on reviews; that's basically the only main thing that keeps me going (besides inspirations and pedo-ish dreams). It doesn't make me feel any better to see faves on a story with no comments. So please review if you can, it'd make me so happy! (Not to mention more pumped up to write.)

* * *

Lavi's eyes gazed sympathetically at Allen's shiny grey eyes. He put his arms around Allen and held him tightly to his chest, nuzzling his nose into Allen's fragrant hair that smelled faintly of vanilla and coconuts.

Allen's body trembled, fearing of the moment Lavi would let go and leave.  
But he didn't. And that made Allen feel all the more paranoid.

"Are you cold?" Lavi whispered, noticing Allen's shivering.

The smaller boy didn't answer. This wasn't real was it? He was still dreaming right? Right?

"Allen look at me."

_This is all a dream, in a few minutes I'll wake up to get ready to go on a dinner date, er, meeting with Lavi. Any minute now…_

Lavi grew concerned, why wasn't he responding? Was he okay? Lavi still held Allen loosely too him but pulled apart so he could see his face. _That beautiful face…_ Allen couldn't bring himself to look up, but eventually gave up; lifting his head first before his eyes rose as well to meet with dark emerald green eyes. The white haired boy could feel his heart begin to melt as their gazes met. Allen's eyes flickered with confusion and pleading. What he was pleading _for_, Lavi had no idea. Affection? Sex? Money? Clothes? And then it hit the redhead: Allen was pleading for love. Surely a boy like Allen deserved someone better than a scarred photographer with anomalous characteristics.

Allen's body slowly stopped trembling. His slender fingers gripped Lavi's forearms as if begging him to stay like a few nights ago when Lavi left Allen all alone right after their "meeting". Lavi felt a pang of guilt stab his heart at the look on Allen's face when he left that one night. It looked hopeless, desperate, as if one was giving an orphan loving parents for a day before murdering them before the orphan's eyes. Desolation, desperation, seclusion, isolation. That was what Allen looked like then and even now as he held him so tightly in his arms.

Those silver eyes had never seemed as deep as when they pierced through to Lavi's eyes-Lavi's soul. A quiet, involuntary whimper left Allen's lips as he exhaled shakily before wiping his tearstained face with his arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "you must think I'm so strange."

"Who ever said being strange was so bad?" came the murmured reply.

Lavi's voice entered Allen's eardrums and resonated throughout his body. Another shudder wound its way down Allen's back. The room was dark so the rest of  
Allen's senses besides his vision were extra sensory.

The smaller boy could not stop himself as one of his hands lifted and gently pressed against Lavi's chin, slowly feeling around for his nose, and his cheeks, and his forehead…It was as if he was blind and trying to memorize who he knew he would remember for the rest of his life.

Lavi's eyes closed, just wanting to feel what it was like to have Allen's soft caress. Allen's fingertips gently brushed across closed green eyes, feeling how soft and thin it was in texture. Soon his other hand joined his previous one as they both left feathery touches across Lavi's cheek, feeling the prominence of his cheeks and the rigid curve of his lips…Allen paused, glancing out at his curtains that let in the faintly white crystalline beam of the moon. His fingers gently intertwined with fiery red hair which was currently dulled by the darkness.

Many of his clients would've slapped him and told him to get on with it by now, but not Lavi. Lavi was willing to participate and let Allen explore a bit. The redhead could feel the soft, warm breath from Allen's lips drift down his chin and neck. Allen's hands finally stopped their journey at Lavi's cheeks, just holding them for a while. He hesitated before leaning in a bit, pulling back again before finally letting his own lips brush softly against Lavi's. His eyes slowly slid shut as his full lips met the redhead's slightly cold ones. If Allen could choose to freeze his life on one moment forever, this would be it.

Lavi's lips cautiously pressed against Allen's, so not to frighten the boy. Allen's snow white hair fell to the sides of his face like ivory satin curtains as he tilted his head, pressing a bit more adamantly against the redhead's. Tingles tickled his spine as small electric currents flowed through every nerve ending in his body. Lavi's protective arms encircled the smaller boy's thin waist and pulled him just a bit closer; feeling the delicate frailty of Allen's boyishly underdeveloped body.  
Their cheeks brushed tenderly, both having euphoric feelings build up in their hearts and souls. Lavi's lips began to wander as they carefully pressed fleeting kisses across Allen's eyelids, and each of his cheeks.

"Lavi…" Allen's sentence was met with a soft "shhhh…" from Lavi.

_Lavi, do you love me?_ was all Allen could ask in his head.

Lavi's lips met its final destination as his lips met with Allen's full, flower petal  
ones.

_I love you Allen._


	10. Bro ken

Hey it's BBS! YAYY LONG CHAPTER. Hahaha it's actually two chapters that I smushed into one but ah well the good thing is that IT'S LONG. :] I hope you enjoy and please review, I love reading reviews more than seeing favorites. If I had a story where I had a lot of reviews but no favorites, I'd be OVERJOYED. So please, even a "This is cool" or "I liked it" is good enough for me. Criticism is only allowed if it's constructive.

* * *

Allen's chest felt too small to contain his swelling heart. His nervous hands trembled as they clung to Lavi's shoulders, was this for real? What was the catch? Would there be a catch? Allen's head hurt and he was terribly confused at being showed this type of affection. Why didn't he feel dirty? In fact-why did he feel purer than before? Was this supposed to feel good? Was this wrong? Was he supposed to feel so lightheaded?

But Allen didn't care, it could've been wrong, but he wouldn't have minded because it was _Lavi_. His lips carefully pressed against the redhead's as he leaned into Lavi's awaiting arms. Lavi's mind was spinning with questions as well. Did he honestly love Allen? How did this happen? Had Allen ever been with anyone like this? Did this make him a pedophile? Did Allen expect money from Lavi for being with him like this? Why did this feel so right? What was wrong with him?  
Lavi hastily pulled away and Allen brushed his cheek against Lavi's, sighing softly. The warm breath against Lavi's ear made him shiver a bit. Allen's eyes began to close once more, but this time, it wasn't in a way Lavi, or anyone for that matter, would've expected.

A strange and prolonged period of silence followed.

"Allen..?" came a quiet, and concerned whisper.

Allen's lips slurred a small, "Hmm?" and Lavi breathed a sigh of relief.

"You feeling alright?" Lavi whispered-just to make sure.

"Mmmhmm…" came a small drawl.

Lavi had a small gut feeling that maybe things weren't as sound and lovey dovey as it seemed. He firmly held Allen's shoulders and held the rag-doll-like boy at almost arm's length. He looked into hazed eyes. Were they ones of love? Lust even? Lavi didn't think so.

"Allen." repeated a worried redhead.

No answer.

Something was wrong.

"Allen?" Lavi asked, his level of worry escalading by the second.

"I--." Allen couldn't finish his sentence as his eyes became glazed over. He was still trembling slightly and he now looked strangely disoriented. Lavi's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and panic as he felt some of Allen's muscles loosening; the foundations of his body wilting. His silver eyes which were normally much brighter seemed to become dull.

"Allen, speak." Lavi said louder as he shook the small body.

"Allen? Allen!"

But it seemed like the worried cries were falling upon deaf ears as Allen's snow white lashes slowly descended on his eyes like curtains, shielding his silver eyes from the world. Lavi stood; Allen cradled weakly in his arms.

"I…" Allen began again, his voice fainter than a cricket's lonely chirp on a moonless  
night.

"Don't speak." Lavi commanded; his voice unwavering as his personality quickly switched into a mode that had simple orders:

Get to the hospital. Now.

* * *

Brakes slamming, tires screeching, Lavi parked hastily in the hospital parking lot; immediately picking Allen up from the back seat and carrying him bridal style into the automatic doors. Everything was a blur and nothing seemed to make sense. Everything happened so fast that Lavi didn't know whether he should be confused, happy, worried, or devastated.

Confused because of all the emotions (or lack thereof) bombarding his heart, happy that Allen had opened up to him and that he had found love, worried that Allen might not remember what had happened before he passed out, or devastated that after this event things may never be the same.

The nurses stared at Lavi in alarm for it wasn't everyday in Tokyo that a redheaded man burst through the doors carrying a small boy with pure white hair. Some nurses stood agape, some rolled their eyes-probably implying that the two were cosplaying or were doing something just as "immature", some nurses rushed to help Lavi; probably because they found him or Allen attractive, and others just kept walking around, not even sparing a worried glace their way.

"Sir, you need to check in at the front desk before we can admit this patient." A nurse calmly stated as Lavi's attention shot toward her. It may have come off as rude, but Lavi could do nothing but stare at the nurse before walking away wordlessly to the front desk.

As soon as Lavi slurred out some quick explanations and information, Allen was placed in a gurney which was wheeled to a hospital room where doctors would examine his overall health and diagnose him with something if anything. Lavi followed close behind the doctors and nurses as they inserted IVs and whatnot into Allen's arms, and taped objects to his temples and chest. His heart was racing as the monitor emitted frequent beeps, each one making Lavi's own heart race faster and faster.

Even while unconscious and obviously hurting, Allen's face looked like one of an angel. There was an angel in a hospital gurney, its heart beating rapidly and its chest heaving in small gasps as doctors hovered around its small, broken body.  
Finally, doors were opened into a cold room painted white where Allen would be staying. The room smelled faintly of cheap janitorial soap and the linoleum floor glinted in the bright white lights. Lavi tried to walk toward Allen's bed, where they were setting him down but was abruptly held back by nurses.

"I'm sorry sir; you're going to have to remain outside while the doctors run their prognosis."

"What harm will I be causing by remaining here?" Lavi growled through his teeth. How dare they? He was the one that brought Allen here-he had a right to stay with him.

"I'm sorry sir; please have a seat outside, you will be let back in once the doctors are done with their examina-."

"Do you honestly think I'll sit outside while he's just lying there chained up to machines?" Lavi seethed, his frustration growing. He didn't see why he couldn't at least sit inside.

"Sir; I don't want to make a scene so please sit outside, the diagnosis will not take long and you will be notified of the results as soon as they are finished. But as for now hospital attendants only." She said a bit firmer.

Lavi's head hung dejectedly as he turned and walked out the doors, sitting in one of the row of chairs lined up by the wall outside. It was deathly quiet except for the maddening hums and buzzes of the light fixtures overhead. He buried his face in his hands and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes and waiting for the sound of footsteps that would tell him Allen was okay.


	11. Diagnosis

Click.

The door opened as the same nurse that caused Lavi to break out in anger stepped outside. She knelt down to look at Lavi as if he were a child. The redhead lifted his tired head to look at her; the two looked gaunt in the fluorescent lights. Green eyes that were momentarily hazed with sleep immediately widened as he stared at the nurse—silently begging her to tell him everything was okay.

"I think you should come in so the doctor can explain." Was all she said.

Lavi didn't know whether or not he should've been alarmed.

There were two nurses including the one that brought him in as well as one doctor in the room now. And of course—the fallen angel lying in the gurney. Lavi hesitated to look at Allen's face before walking towards the doctor and nurses. He couldn't bear seeing Allen confined to a bed—though technically;

He had been his whole life.

The doctor approached Lavi and extended his dry hand for a handshake. Lavi's hand was shaking with anticipation and confusion—why did he care so much if something was wrong with him? He reached out for a firm handshake. The doctor pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before looking over them at Lavi, then the clipboard he held in one arm.

"Tell me, uhh.."

"Lavi."

"Yes, Lavi. Do you have any relations with this boy?"

"We are not blood related."

"Ah. Well, do you know any members of his family? His immediate family preferred."

"I do not know of any. Do you know what is wrong with Allen?"

"Do you know if Mr. Walker was taking any medication without a prescription as of late?"

"I do not. What is wrong with him?"

"Do you know where he or his family resides?"

"No I do not. What is wrong with Allen?" Lavi growled the last part through his teeth.

"Please sir; I have some more questions to ask before I disclose any information."

"Tell me something, why I should answer any of your questions when you refuse to answer any of mine?" came the snarled reply.

The doctor looked shocked as he opened his mouth, closing it soon after. He cleared his throat before looking up at Lavi with a suspicious and fearful eye.

"Allen Walker was suffering from the aftereffects of malnutrition as well as dehydration. It is nothing major, but then again, it is certainly not something minor. No drastic measures will be taken; he has been put on an IV that will replenish some of the nutrients his body is currently lacking. His estimated stay at this hospital will be about 2 days and I will prescribe medication before his release."

Lavi soaked in all the information before nodding his head solemnly. He knew that one day Allen's way of life would send him here. He just never believed it. After all; it was his job to protect him.

"You may stay at the hospital with him as long as you obtain a visitor's pass downstairs at the receptionist's desk."

"Thank you." Was the simple answer as Lavi walked out the door to the elevator. He ran a hand through his fiery red hair as the doors of the elevator closed. Allen would be okay. He'd make sure of it.

-----

The early sun peeked into the hospital room, a small breeze making the generic curtains dance. Allen was in his hospital bed and Lavi was sitting in a nearby chair, his head resting his Allen's lap and his hand outstretched to hold his hand.

Slowly, silver eyes flickered open.

"Mmmh…" a small groan.

Allen's eyes looked around him, wearily observing his surroundings before his eyes focused on something bright red. Was he bleeding?! He hurriedly sat up a bit, flinching as the needles pulled him back a bit.

Lavi's eyes opened slowly, looking at the wall before he got up. His eyes slowly met silver ones.

"Lavi..." came a soft gasp.

"Allen." Lavi's grip on Allen's hand instinctively grew tighter.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes." came the whisper.

"Allen…" Lavi whispered tenderly, getting up to hug the small boy.

Allen was unusually pale—way paler than his usual skin tone but it gave him somewhat of a more angelic aura. As if he was not of this world.

"I was so worried."

A small whimper left Allen's lips. He had tried to hug Lavi back but the IV in his arms prevented him from moving that much. Oh how he would've if he only could…

**Hey guys! It's BBS 3 I hope you're enjoying this so far. I'll try to make my chapters longer. ^^; But please review if you have the time, even a "I like it" is fine with me. Reviews are the biggest thing that keeps me going so please do so if you can :D**


	12. Home

Lavi stayed there with his arms wrapped around Allen for a while. That's the way things should've been. But Allen had other concerns.

"L-Lavi. How long did they say I'd be…here?" he asked uncertainly.

"Probably another day or so. Why?"

Allen's eyes widened, "But I feel better now! See?" he pressed on as he tried to  
remove an IV from his arm.

"Hey hey hey! What are you doing?" Lavi cried, grabbing Allen's hand before he  
could even try to pull out the needles in his arms.

"Y-You don't understand, I need to go back to work. I need to…" he pleaded, voice getting quieter.

Lavi grabbed his shoulders and looked the white haired boy straight in the eye.

"No. You need to get better okay? I'll stay with you. What's wrong? It's just another day." He reasoned.

"Thank you…but I really should be getting back." Allen mumbled, attempting to grab at the needles again.

"Allen. You're staying. You're going to get better, and once you are-they'll let you out of here okay? Just another day, I promise. One day Allen." He negotiated.

"No, please I-I really should go home. I need to work." Allen pleaded, desperation slowly building up in his voice.

"I shouldn't…I shouldn't be here. It'll only cost me more money..and I'm troubling you and I should go home. I should-I need to go home Lavi. Please." He begged, hysteria becoming mildly evident in his voice.

Was Allen crazy?! What was wrong with him? Were they pumping him full of faulty medication? Why wouldn't he want to get better? It's just one day. Was he just lacking sleep? There were indeed dark circles around Allen's fatigued eyes.

"Allen listen to me-."

"No!! Listen to ME. I need to leave this place, I-I have to go h-home!" Allen yelled, angrily trying to yank his wrists from the redhead's firm grip, ultimately failing from his lack of strength.

"Allen! Listen to me." Lavi shook his wrists and stared at Allen's face, searching for signs that this was not Allen speaking. It was probably the meds they were giving him.

The white haired prostitute burst into tears.

"I just wanna go home." He begged.

"Please! I wanna go HOME!" he said louder.

Lavi's heart broke at the sight before him. Allen's eyes looked lost, tired, and bewildered; he was like a scared puppy that had been picked up by a complete stranger.

Allen's chest heaved with small sobs.

"I just want to go home…you don't understand." He choked.

"Allen, look at me."

Allen shook his head, watching the tears drip onto the blanket covering his thin frame. Lavi's eyes widened at the sight. He watched the tears drip, one after the other as they slowly soaked into the blanket.

Lavi's warm hands cupped the sides of Allen's face as he tilted his head so they were eye to eye. Allen's silver eyes sparkled in the sunlight and Lavi's emerald green ones just stared down at them in awe.

"Shhh…calm down." He whispered, their foreheads touching. One of his hands rubbed soothing circles on Allen's back as the boy continued to cry.

"Shhhh…"

All Lavi could hear were the pitiful whines and whimpers involuntarily coming from Allen's lips. It was as if he were a broken person. A broken angel. And the heartbeat machine that was always beeping menacingly, a measure of how fast Allen's heart was beating, but never measuring what was locked away inside.

Lavi's lips gently pressed against Allen's, comforting him as he continued to rub his back; he was trying to prove that this wasn't lust. He wasn't seeking anything but Allen's consolation. Allen shuddered as goose bumps rose on his alabaster skin.

_Allen…I love you, so please stop crying…_

_Why aren't you disappearing yet Lavi?_

**Reviews are muchly appreciated 3**


	13. Promise

Eventually, Allen's sniffles calmed down. Eventually, Lavi pulled away. Eventually, Allen fell asleep. as did Lavi. And eventually, the sun that graced the hospital began to fade and dip under the horizon.

Lavi sat in his chair by Allen's bedside, clutching at his own red hair as he tried to make sense of what happened. Why did he refuse to get better? If money was the reason, Lavi would pay for the damn hospital bill himself! He just wanted Allen to get better. And maybe when he did; he would be able to offer him a job or something, anything that would take him off the "market". He had to protect this fragile angel. And angel with snow white hair and feathery lashes which obscured eyes that paralleled the light of the silver moon.

Lavi's head rose and he stared at Allen's face as the breeze and sunlight flittered past his closed eyes…his pale lips looked like frozen roses. His hair was disheveled, yet looked so perfect. His face was marred with a red scar, but that only added to his exotic beauty.

Such a strange boy this was…and Lavi could not look away. Yes it was probably wrong, sick even to care for a boy he had slept with multiple times. He was just a boy damn it! And Lavi was no different than the other heathens and sodomites that had taken something so precious to Allen that he should've kept and saved for the one he wanted to give it to. Lavi's teeth clenched as he looked at the pale face. It was without fear, it was without darkness.

How could a boy who's been through so much still be so trusting of the world?

How could a boy continue to go out seeking clients when every time, he could feel  
pieces of him break?

How could anyone want to ruin this boy?

How could they?

How could he?

Allen's face scrunched up slightly, the first Lavi had ever seen him in pain. Even when they were performing unspeakable acts behind closed doors-Allen was always perfectly still. He was obedient like a puppy waiting for his master to come home once more. He was a stray kitten, abandoned and isolated from its mother. And right now, he was in pain.

The boy's fists clenched as his head was jerked to the side.

A small whimper.

Lavi straightened up, staring at Allen in anxiety. What was he dreaming about?  
Lavi shuddered; he could only imagine what horrible visions rampaged through  
the boy's mind.

"A-Ahh!!" Allen cried out in pain, his heart monitor began to speed up.

A gasp.

Heavy breaths ensued as Allen's chest heaved for air. Was this a medical issue?!

The angel's head shook from side to side: No.

A small groan.

Tears began to form on the edges of his eyes as a few cascaded down the plain of his pure face. A whine, a whimper, a gasp, strangled sobs. A few wails and "No"s.

Lavi stood and internally waged war on himself as he debated whether to get medical help or wake Allen up first. This could've just been a nightmare.

"Oi, Allen. Allen wake up!" Lavi commanded, panicked.

Allen shook his head and wailed.

"Ahhhnn…hah, No!! Nnngghh." Then a series of unintelligible mumbled words.

Sweat beaded on his forehead as Lavi stared bewildered at Allen's terror.

"Allen! Get up!"

A loud sob.

"No!!! No!!!" a few more words that were too slurred together to counts as  
words.

"Allen!" Lavi said louder, shaking Allen.

The sobs began to die down as Allen's body stilled. Lavi didn't know whether this  
was a good thing. The heart monitor was still beeping at a faster rate, making Lavi all the more anxious.

"Allen?"

Gradually, silver eyes opened; they were still shiny with tears and hazy with  
sleep.

As they focused, they slowly met deep green ones that were wide with worry.

Allen bit his lip. His eyebrows peaked on his forehead.

A sniffle.

Another sniffle.

Allen broke out into his sobs again as Lavi tried his best to comfort the crying mess.

"I-I didn't wanna." Allen mumbled through his tears.

"I-I didn't wanna…" he wailed in agony.

"H-He told me to…he said it would be okay!!!" he cried in anger.

"I-I-I believed him..." he choked as his whole body trembled in Lavi's hold.

Through it all, Lavi's mind sparked an idea that had never really dawned on him.

_Allen was still a child._

"I b-believed him."

_He was a child in the adult industry._

"He took everything…everything!"

_But he was still a child at heart. He needed love, he needed affection, comfort._

Lavi was exhausted, he was tired, and he hadn't slept in days. But making this child feel wanted and loved was all that mattered to him.

"I didn't want to Lavi…I didn't want to…I said-I said no…" Allen stuttered through his sobs and hiccups.

"Shhhh…I'm here Allen. I will always be here. I will be here to protect you. I promise."

"Th-That's what he said. That's what he told me! And he's not here…nnnghh….h-he's not here…"

Lavi felt shocked. Who was "he"?

Well, he'd have time to ask that later. Right now, he had to make sure Allen calmed down.

"Allen, Allen listen to me. I'm not him. I will never be him. And what I say is the truth. I'll be there when you need help; I'll be there when you seek comfort. I'll never leave you."

Allen's heart monitor slowly came to a regular beeping. Allen's body wasn't trembling as much and his wails and cries died down.

"Promise...?"

It was a quiet question: reluctant, fearful and suspicious.

"Promise."

**DD: Reviews are always welcome. **


	14. Dream

Allen let out a weak and shuddering breath as he settled into the hospital bed.

Lavi put his hand on Allen's forehead to make sure he wouldn't break out with a fever anytime soon.

All was silent except for the constant beeping of the heart monitor. It was already driving Lavi completely insane but he withstood it.

The white haired boy's chest rose and fell at a steady rate and he was asleep once more. There were bruises on his arms where he struggled to pull out the IVs. Lavi frowned and gently caressed them, running his fingertips over the internal bleeding.

"Lavi."

Lavi was so used to silence that the sudden outburst of sound made him flinch.

He looked at Allen and smiled.

"How are you feeli--."

Allen brought a finger to Lavi's lips.

"Shhh…"

Lavi almost laughed at the reversal of their roles.

"Why?"

Lavi didn't know what to say. What kind of a question was that? He gently kissed Allen's finger tip.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?"

Lavi was stunned. Why was he here?! Was this the meds talking again? What did he mean why was he here?!

"Allen. You needed to go to the hospital to I brought you here."

"I know…but why are _you_ here?" came the innocent reply.

Lavi laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"Because I promised to be here and protect you."

It was Allen's turned to be stunned. He'd never been…_protected_ before. He never knew what it felt like to be completely safe. He looked at Lavi surreptitiously, searching for any signs of lying. There were none.

Lavi sat perfectly still as Allen searched his face. He smiled.

"Don't you believe me?"

Allen opened his mouth. Then closed it.

"I…I do." With those two words, Allen gave a part of himself to Lavi. He trusted  
Lavi more than anyone else in the world. Maybe not to the point where he'd trust him with his life, but it was a start.

Lavi inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. He was glad he was no longer viewed as a potential threat. He would protect this child until the sun came crashing down.

"Thank…thank you." Allen said in between breaths.

"You're welcome, now get some rest."

"I'm not sleepy."

"You sure?" Lavi asked with a grin. He knew in about 20 minutes Allen would fall asleep.

"Yeah…"

The two sat in silence as bright orange lights bathed them in a brilliant light show of colors as the sun set.

"Lavi?"

"Hm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure. Anything."

Allen took a deep breath. It wasn't everyday he spilled his heart and soul but he felt it necessary.

"Lavi…I don't know what I can tell you about my past. I've been alone for as long as I can remember…but I can tell you I've never had someone be close to me so I'll apologize in advance if I don't act the way I'm supposed to."

A deep breath.

"I got into prostitution when I was 13. Up until then I lived in a foster facility. No one ever wanted to adopt me because I was so strange looking so one day, I left. I didn't even belong with all the other unwanted kids. I met a man you see, he told me that if I worked for him, I could live by myself. No one to bother me, just me and me alone. Being the kid I was…I accepted."

Lavi didn't speak. He just looked at Allen patiently.

"I didn't think I'd be selling myself to other people much less men at that. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I…I thought I could make a change in my life and become a better person."

Allen paused for a while. He wasn't comfortable bringing back memories, but he wanted to.

"If you don't want to talk about something, you don't have to." Lavi assured.

"No, No it's fine."

Another deep breath.

"For the first year or so I was confined in a room. I was handcuffed to the bed like  
some dog and everyday men would come and look at me, touch me, scream at me, hurt me…then they'd leave. Just like that. I never got my freedom then, I never received any compensation and as soon as people stopped coming to my room, I was released onto the street."

A shudder.

"By then, selling my body was all I was taught to do. So I used it to what I  
thought was my advantage. Eventually, I earned money for myself and moved into a hotel room where I promised to pay rent. They asked me where my parents were and the manager kept asking silly questions so I slept with him to shut him up. I honestly don't know who my parents are."

"But I have a feeling they're not with us anymore." Allen whispered.

"Anyways, I've never been to a school before but I did learn a bit when I was at the foster care center. The teachers were horrible and awful and you could tell what they did behind closed doors to the kids. But I managed to learn quite a lot."

Lavi smiled, "I can tell. You have impeccable grammar."

Allen smiled back, "Thank you."

"I know I'm a prostitute and many people look down on 'our kind' but I assure  
you, there is so much more to the story than what people hear. We are people too. We can feel, we can fight, we can hurt."

"I hoped one day that I could become a model or something of the sort. I've always loved pictures. Just the fact of isolating a moment of time fascinates me."  
Even though Lavi was a photographer, even HE didn't see it that way. It was just his job.

Allen smiled at nothing in particular and closed his eyes.

"I know it's probably silly, I'm definitely not model material or anything, but hey-I can dream right?"

"I think you're modeling material." Lavi commented. He was perfectly serious.

Allen laughed.

"I think you're blind."

"Only on one eye." Lavi joked.

Allen frowned, "I'm sorry…I forgot."

"Haha don't worry about it." Lavi was already used to most of the eye patch jokes people came up with.

A sigh. But not necessarily a sad one. Allen's head turned to look at Lavi.

"But one day I hope to be free of this life. I'll live in my own little apartment. I'll get coffee every morning and watch the birds take flight. And at night, I'll come home to a stray dog or something and feed it. I'll sit on my couch and cuddle up with a book and a blanket and fall asleep to the sounds of chirping crickets on my windowsill. That is all I really want…"

**:'D This story is my new baby. xDD Please review if you have the time—I'M ON A ROLL :D **


	15. Dinner

Lavi felt so calm, so at peace when he listened to Allen talk. It was ratifying, it was breathtaking, heartbreaking, and awe-inspiring all at once.

Allen's eyes were dreamy and hazy, just thinking about a world he could maybe have in his lifetime.

"You know…I wish I would have had someone with me in the past. But I know I would've only troubled them. I wouldn't want people near me when I was at my low points."

"But that's what close friends or relatives are for Allen. They're supposed to be there when you need them."

"I suppose that makes you a close friend?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

Allen sighed happily, "I'm glad."

His eyes fluttered closed for a few moments as Lavi gazed at the young boy who  
had to grow up so fast due to his circumstances.

His feathery soft hair fluttered around his face, partially hiding his angelic face from the world.

"I just…I just want a place of my own, and something I can call my own, you know? And food…Mmmh food. I'd have three square meals a day and 2-no 3 snacks between each one. I'd have coffee and all the water and juice I want. I'd drop by the grocery store every now and again for some cookies, maybe even some fruit."

His eyes opened again and he stared at the ceiling.

"Though that might be asking for too much.."

Lavi was frozen with alarm, wait wait wait, he thought asking for food was too  
much? He thought asking for some cookies was too much?!

"And a stray dog or cat…I'd name it…Timcanpy. I'd feed it every day and it can sit  
on my lap while I pet its soft fur…I'd talk to it and hold it tightly and never want to  
let it go. Because I would know what it felt like to be a stray. To be lost…I'd never  
let it go…" he repeated softly.

"I'd take it on long walks in the park and maybe meet some new people and new  
dogs. I'd wave hello and not be afraid about whether they'd advantage of me. I'd  
go to a shopping mall and buy some clothes instead of browsing and making  
myself promises. Maybe I'd even get a camera to take pictures with…"

Allen's face quickly turned to face Lavi's with a blush clearly evident on his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling aren't I?"

"No no! Not at all." Lavi assured with a grin.

"You know, you're dreams aren't as astronomical as other kids your age. Most  
want to be president or find a cure to cancer and things of the like. They want to  
be famous."

Allen laughed harshly.

"I prefer the simple life. I don't want fame or fortune or eternal glory or anything  
of the sort. Though I suppose I should be thankful for what I have now hm?"

_What DO you have now?_ Lavi wanted to ask.

"I know I don't have much, but I think there are more people out there that are  
suffering far more than I am now."

Normally, people who were overly optimistic about the future made Lavi angry, but for some reason Allen's humbleness was strangely refreshing. It was like a white daisy in a field of weeds.

Here was a boy who had practically everything taken away from him. He was  
trafficked for sex and money and he continued to do so because that was all he  
could do. He never went to a proper school, he was never adopted for his strange  
looks, he barely ate, and was currently hospitalized for malnutrition and  
dehydration. And all he could do was worry about someone else out there that  
might be worse off.

The doctor came in and interrupted both of their thoughts with his clipboard. He  
examined Allen's arms and his face, checking his IV and various other machines that were attached to him.

"Hmm…You will be released shortly on account of a very quick recovery. You're  
lucky this man brought you in early or the symptoms could've been worse." The  
doctor turned to Lavi.

"Make sure he gets enough food and water on a daily basis." He made Allen  
sound like a dog.

"Oh and here are the prescription pills you requested."

"Thank you." Was all the two said to the doctor as he left.

-----

Allen was wheeled out in a wheelchair to Lavi's car. It was just getting dark,  
maybe around 7:30 PM. The drive was completely silent for a while before Lavi smiled and briefly turned to look at Allen.

"What do you say we go out to dinner now?"

"Wh-what?"

"I know, I know, you just got released from the hospital but why not? You have your normal clothes back on. And we didn't get to go last time." Lavi reasoned.

Allen was shocked that Lavi still wanted to take him out to dinner after all the trouble he put him through.

"It's fine…I really want to go home. A-And besides, I'm not decently dressed. My clothes are all wrinkly and odd. Maybe another time?"

"Aw come on! If you're really that uncomfortable, we can get take out or something and eat it at your place, or we can go to my place and I'll make you something." Lavi said with a grin. He was simply overjoyed Allen was alright. And  
Allen needed to eat right?

He was probably sounding realllllly freaky by now, but Lavi really looked forward to spending time with Allen now that he knew him so much better. His presence was simply captivating. How could he not notice this before?

Allen still seemed pretty skeptical but eventually, he nodded shyly.

"I wouldn't mind either."

In fact, Allen was excited at the thought of food. His stomach growled, but he quickly applied pressure to it with his arm so it wouldn't get too loud.

"Haha, my place it is. That is, if that's okay." Lavi double checked so he didn't seem like some creepy pedophile.

Allen nodded with a weak smile.

"I'd like that."


	16. Scenery

**AUUUGHH SORRY THIS ISN'T A REAL UPDATE.**

**BUT THIS **_**IS **_**A THANK YOU TRIBUTE TO PJOxAnime for being kind and observant enough to tell me.**

**That won't be until May 14-ish, after some of my exams are over. BUT interestingly enough, I check my DeviantArt account once every…500 years and today was one of those days.**

**I went to my "notes" to find…someone had notified me (someone who had read Love Me both on DeviantArt and on this website) that I was missing a chapter that I had on DeviantArt on here! So I double checked, AND IT WAS. Thankfully, it wasn't a giant part of the plot…so I thought WHY NOT. THROW THEM A FISH ONCE IN A WHILE. So here's the "mysteriously missing chapter" from DeviantArt to BBS to you!**

**000**

Lavi grinned and turned his focus back to the road as they sped off to his apartment downtown. They arrived at two tall white gates, a water fountain visible inside. One could hardly call them apartments; there were only 16 "apartments" in the entire massive complex. They were more like houses stacked on top of each other. Allen's mouth was slightly open in amazement as he was pushed in his wheelchair to Lavi's place. They walked through the lobby as the receptionist greeted them.

"Evening, Lavi."

"Hey Linda."

Allen tried to smile and waved back to the woman who turned to him and waved. He felt something gnaw at his heart—was it envy? Allen shook it off. It shouldn't have mattered anyways.

The two boarded the elevator as it dinged cheerily. Lavi stepped in after Allen and hit Level 2.

_Ding!_

Lavi smiled down at Allen as he continued to stare out in wonder at his surroundings. There were trees and from this vantage point, Allen could see a grove of flowers. And a swimming pool! Did people really live like this? Allen knew there was a swimming pool at the hotel, but this one was different, it was for all the same residents, not people from other countries or looking for a night of entertainment. There was even a jacuzzi! It glistened in the moonlight as the illuminated purple bubbles gurgled quietly.

Lavi's apartment was by a shady palm tree, just above the garden. Allen looked around in amazement at all the beautiful things that were there. It was as if everything were surreal, as if this were all a dream. Lavi unlocked the wine-red door to his apartment and opened the door.

"Haha, sorry it's so messy, I wasn't expecting company." He chuckled nervously, excusing himself.

The redhead pushed his wheelchair through the threshold, Allen glancing around like an animal cautiously approaching a trap.

"Take off your shoes; make yourself comfortable, I don't care." Lavi grinned, waving his hand a few times before wheeling Allen toward a loveseat couch.

Allen had carefully slipped off his shoes, leaving them by the door before he looked around at the spacious apartment in awe. All the walls were white except one in particular which was painted entirely in bright red. It was the home of a visionary, an artist.

There were photographs strewn across the floor and some were clothes pinned to a line that spread across the central living room. There was a T.V in the corner—though it was gathering dust. The kitchen looked like it was rarely used and the carpet was bleach white and oh so soft as if no one had ever lived there.

"I know, I'm surprised I kept it as…tidy as I could." Lavi laughed, "I get around a lot so I usually don't do much at home. I go to work, eat out and things of the kind. I come home and edit pictures, sleep, and go to work again."

"It's beautiful." Allen breathed.

The couches were white leather with red pillows and cushions of different shades randomly thrown on top. The windows had white cotton curtains that blew languidly in the night breeze and just outside was a breathtaking view of all the city lights.

Lavi scratched the back of his neck and smiled.

"Well thanks. I painted the place myself when I rented it out. Go sit, I'll, I'll look for something or order whatever. But go sit, go on."

Allen cautiously stood, his legs thankfully letting him stand and move around a little. He sat down on the couch, worrying about touching or ruining anything. He could hear rummaging and small banging sounds. It had been 15 minutes until he heard Lavi's cell phone beeping as he dialed the number of some café or whatnot. Allen stood up quickly; regretting doing so after his lower back retaliated with a dull pain.

"Lavi wait!" he called out, slowly walking towards the kitchen.

Lavi looked genuinely surprised before he hung up his phone.

"I-I can cook." Allen declared with a small smile.

Lavi looked at Allen for a second as to question whether or not he was telling the truth.

"You can give it a shot" he laughed finally, "I have food and other things you might need, I just honestly don't know how to cook that well."

Allen grinned like a small child.

"Leave it to me!"

Lavi appeared to be completely stunned. Allen seemed so…childish, so eager. It was another side of him he'd never experienced before.

"Uh, sure if you say so." Lavi felt bad for making Allen cook for him…

"But do you need any help?"

"Uhh, I think I'll be fine but you can if you want." Allen said, smiling and tilting his head like a gleeful kid.

Lavi smiled back, he liked this side of Allen.

"Okay, I guess I'll stick around." He concluded.

Allen gave a curt nod before he set out to look for things. Lavi was quickly by his side to look for anything Allen needed.

"Do you have any chicken?"

"Haha, actually, yeah I do."

"Okay good! Lemons?"

"Ahhh yeah."

"Olive oil?"

"Extra virgin?"

"Good."

"Just list everything you need, I'll handle it."

"Okay, let's see…8 sprigs of Rosemary, potatoes around 3 maybe 4. Salt, pepper, red wine vinegar, a skillet, roasting pan and…I think that's it."

"Wow. Aren't I just a walking waste of culinary skills?" Lavi laughed, "I have everything, but I never use anything. I restock and restock things I never use."

Allen smiled.

"Well consider yourself lucky." He said with a smirk as he reached for the skillet on the counter.

"Oh and preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit."

"Yes sir!"

Allen pretended to glare at Lavi until they both laughed at each other. Allen didn't remember the last time he laughed the way he had tonight.

Allen took a measuring cup he had found earlier (without Lavi's help) in a cupboard and measured out a fourth of a cup before pouring it into the skillet to simmer.

"Okay, now the chicken."

"I bought them precut."

"Okay then…now we have to pat them."

Lavi gave Allen a strange look, his mouth twitching up into a grin.

"Did you say we're gonna PAT the chicken?"

"Well, we have to make it feel good before we roast it in the oven at 400 plus degrees, Lavi." Allen rolled his eyes.

The two made eye contact; each trying to keep a perfectly serious face until they both burst into laughter once more at the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation.

_Allen…your laugh and smile are so beautiful…don't stop._

_Why do you make me so happy Lavi?_

**000**

**ASDJGK;ADGSA Wow. That blast from the past was terrifying. Well, at least I can say my writing improved just a tad. AUUGH. My n00bness is showing, isn't it? This is so embarrassing…BUT ALL FOR YOU GUYS BECAUSE I LAAAVVI YOU.**

**Oh brother, I'm gonna leave before my jokes become even more cheesy.**

**Review, loves—and I'll see you in 2 weeks! :D**


	17. Bella Luna

The chicken was taken out of the refrigerator and Allen showed Lavi how to pat it dry. Laughs and chuckles resounded throughout the happy apartment as the two worked together to create a dinner that they would share.

"Okay, so now we have to put the chicken in the skillet."

"Aren't we going to roast it?"

"Patience young one."

"Young one?!?! Hey, I'm older than you are!"

"Says your lips not your mind~"

Allen put the back of his hand over his mouth to hide his grin. His wrist was caught  
by the redhead.

"Don't deny the world your smile." He said with a smile of his own.

Allen stared longingly at the startling green eyes staring right back at him when  
they heard the loud sizzle of the chicken.

"Ah, there it goes!"

"So now what?"

"We wait for 8 minutes before we flip them."

"Oh great, what are we going to do for 8 minutes?"

"Oh I don't know, walk around aimlessly?"

"Haha very funny, no seriously. Wanna go sit or something?"

"No thanks" Allen replied with a smile. He snapped as his eyes opened wide.

"Oh! We can cut the potatoes."

"Alright. You can do that! I'll be out on the couch you know just doing my thing  
aha--!"

"Oh no you don't! You said you'd help!"

"Fine! YOU go sit on the couch and do whatever and I'LL cut the potatoes!" Lavi  
cried, throwing his hands up in the air with a menacing grin.

"Okay fine! Maybe I will!" Allen sneered, trying his best not to smile.

"Okay then! You should!"

Allen sauntered off to sit on the couch as Lavi contemplated how the hell he was  
going to cut these potatoes.

"Give up yet?" Allen called out from the couch-his smile could be heard in his  
voice.

"Haha what are you talking about? Me and these potatoes are getting along just  
fine!"

Allen shook his head and got up, ready to shoot down Lavi and his stubbornness.

"These potatoes and **I**!!" Allen corrected.

"Who cares grammar boy?" Lavi countered defensively yet playfully.

"Hey, what happened to sitting on the couch doing whatever?"

"It's been 8 minutes Mr. Know it All."

"Oh look who's talking! These potatoes and **I**" Lavi said in a mockingly  
high pitched voice.

The two glared at each other before laughing again. Was it healthy to laugh this  
much?

Allen walked over to the skillet and flipped the chicken with a spatula (courtesy of  
Lavi the Rich).

"You didn't even cut the potatoes?!"

"I was GOING TO until SOMEONE came and interrupted!" Lavi replied with a smirk.

Allen scoffed and shook his head in mock disappointment as he peeled and cut the  
potatoes.

"Salt? Pepper?" Allen asked, putting out his palm for the two as Lavi put them in  
his hand. The potatoes were placed as a border around the roasting pan. They  
were then seasoned with dashes of salt and pepper.

The chicken breasts were transferred from the skillet to the roasting pan by a  
rather proud redhead as Allen rolled his eyes and proceeded to mix the lemon  
juice and vinegar.

"Does the old man want to pour this over the chicken and potatoes?"

"Hey! I thought you were older than me."

"Only in brains and spirit mister."

Lavi shook his head and pretended to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Fine."

He happily took the mixture and dribbled it over the contents of the pan.  
Meanwhile, the white haired boy sprinkled thyme and rosemary on top before  
putting on nearby oven mitts to place into the baking hot oven.

"So now we wait for…45 minutes I'd say."

"45 minutes?! That's almost an hour! I'm starving here."

"Hey hey, watch it. You weren't the one hospitalized for malnutrition." Allen  
teased.

"If I can wait for an hour, so can you."

Lavi didn't like the idea of teasing Allen for not having enough to eat, but  
apparently the boy liked to make fun of himself for it. Allen stomach grumbled as  
the two glared at each other, resulting in another bout of laughter.

"Admit it! You're hungry too!"

"Hey, the chicken **I** made is starting to smell good okay?"

The two settled down on the couch after and simply sat with their eyes closed for  
a while as the room filled with the rich aroma of chicken basted with lemon and  
herbs.

A symphony of grumbling stomachs ensued, followed by an uproar of laughter;  
one higher in pitch than the other.

"Wanna step out onto the balcony where it doesn't smell like a 5 star restaurant?"

"Sure."

The two stood and walked over to the slide open glass door. They stepped out  
into the cool, crisp night breeze. Sure, cars were honking and city lights were  
flashing-trying so desperately to outshine the moon, but to Allen nothing seemed  
more peaceful.

Lavi leaned on the elegant white barring that bordered the balcony, gazing at the  
moon.

Allen stood perfectly still, closing his eyes to feel the wind brush across his face.  
He felt so light, so himself. And it was all because of Lavi.

He had never felt such a feeling before. Was this how people felt when they were  
being protected?

Probably.

"La luna è bella stasera."

Allen looked at Lavi with a strange look on his face.

"What's that mean?"

"It means: The moon is beautiful tonight."

"What language is that?"

"Italian."

"Where'd you learn THAT?"

"I went to Milan for a few weeks last year to do a photo shoot for Fashion Week there."

"Hm. Where else have you been?"

"London, Paris, New York. Madrid. And of course here in Tokyo."

"Wow.." Allen breathed. Lavi had been EVERYWHERE.

"Non è così glamour come si potrebbe pensare--It's not as glamorous as you might think."

Allen stared-bewildered at the places Lavi's been to. He must've really had a worldly perspective.

"Maybe one day I'll take you somewhere." Lavi mused quietly with a small smile.

"Haha, when that day comes remind me to give you a gift."

Lavi looked at Allen with a quizzical look on his face.

"Is that a bribe?"

"It's a promise."

Awww~ I tried to make them in character for at least one chapter. LOL. They're always so cute in DGM with their little jokes and tomfoolery--I wanted to bring some of that into this lifetime of theirs. Hahaha also, I used a translator for the Italian so if you have any corrections, please don't hesitate to correct me~!

AHH! I HAVE TO STOP MAKING MYSELF HUNGRY WHILE WRITING THIS.


	18. Baciami

The two gazed at the moon in all its peaceful serenity. The stars glimmered and shined, bowing to the majesty of the pale and pasty moon. There wasn't a cloud in the sky; the night sky was pitch black, illuminated only by its twinkling inhabitants and graced by the beautiful radiance of the full moon.

"La luna…è…bella stasera." came a soft voice.

Lavi's head turned to Allen, who was softly saying the words to himself. They sounded so much classier, so much more meaningful coming from his lips.

"Beautiful."

Allen turned to look at Lavi with obscurely peaceful eyes.

"Bella."

"Moon."

"Luna…"

Allen's dainty white lashes fell slightly, snow white curtains shading the shimmering silver of his eyes.

Windows to the soul.

Beautiful windows for a beautiful soul.

It was Allen's turn to ask for words.

"Night"

"Notte"

"Kindness"

"Gentilezza"

"Me"

"Mi"

"Light"

"Luce"

Allen had walked closer to Lavi, the two bathed in the light of the silver moon.

"Touch"

"Tocco"

A step closer.

"Please"

"Per favore"

Another step closer.

"Kiss"

"Bacio"

The two were face to face; Allen's eyes looked up into Lavi's green ones that were lucid, yet darkened and mysterious.

"Love"

"Amore"

Allen's own eyes were lax. His eyelids were lowered questioningly, pleadingly…sensually?

"If"

"Se"

"With me"

"Con me"

"Hope."

"Speranza"

Allen's arms slowly wrapped around Lavi's neck as Lavi's automatically slid around Allen's waist—their lips just a breath away. Their foreheads were touching and both their eyes began to slide shut.

"Forever"

"Per sempre"

"Kiss me."

"Baciami"

"Lavi?"

"Hm?"

"Per favore…baciami…"

Lavi smiled, a hand coming up to gently stroke Allen's silky soft hair…so pure…before his lips smoothly pressed against Allen's. Tears of happiness sprung to Allen's eyes as he pulled Lavi toward him. Lavi cupped the back of Allen's head, cradling it closer.

Their lips were the soft flutters of doves taking flight into the ocean on a bright sunrise at bay. Their hands were warm, and the kiss was like cinnamon…the overpowering light of the afternoon sun…the steaming mug of coffee with hints of vanilla. It was the frosted glass of a window by the countryside after a delicate snowfall.

It was the serene dance of falling leaves. It was the morning dew forming bright crystalline beads that soaked up the sunshine in the fields of sunflowers. It was the chirp of a song, twittered harmoniously as blue jays flew side by side. It was the green of the grass in the shade as the wind waltzed through its lush forest-like domain. It was the beam of light in the darkened forest—countless shades of green bowing to the blazing sun. It was waking up at dawn with the one you loved. It was the sunset on the dock, seagulls flying off into the distance as the sun bid farewell in a light show of purple and pink.

It was peace.

It was home.

Was it love?


	19. Guardian

Far too soon, Allen found his lips leaving Lavi's. He already missed the feel of it, causing him to lean forward for another. It wasn't long until things began to heat up. The warm night breeze encircled the two as they embraced each other in the moonlight.

Allen's fingers clutched at Lavi's forearms, silently begging him to kiss back with just as much passion and vigor. And for a few moments, the red head completely lost it. He leaned closer into the kiss, their lips crushing each other with a mixture of potential love and lust.

Their tongues somehow met in the middle along the line, desperately caressing and battling with each other. They eventually had to pull apart for much needed air.

A small, breathy moan flooded from Allen's lips, immediately cut off by Lavi's lips against his neck like the barrel of a gun.

"La…viiiiiiiii" the white haired boy's head tipped back as the redhead nipped at his pulse, gently sucking it afterwards. The mixture of pain and pleasure strangely complimented each other-like wine and chocolate.

Allen's breathing picked up speed, evolving to gasps and pants or desperation and need.

Lavi had no idea what had overcome him-only that this was happening.

A high pitched whine emitted from Allen's throat, his thin hips rolling into Lavi's.

A growl sounded from Lavi's own throat as he continued to ravish Allen's neck and collarbone. His green eyes were no longer lucid, but clouded.

Red and purple marks were blossoming on Allen's neck, the wind quietly whipping across them as if to cool them from the heat consuming the two.

Strong hands held Allen's hips at a measurable distance, frustrating the younger boy. Didn't he want this too? It was so blatantly obvious they both wanted it.  
Their lips smashed together once more, fiercely fighting for the upper hand. Allen was backed up against table set out on the balcony, forcing him to lay down on it as Lavi crawled over him. Allen's hands desperately clutched at anything: Lavi's arms, his neck, his back, his chest.

"I…need…" Allen moaned, his chest heaving at the difficulty breathing. Tears were forming at his eyes from all the pleasure raining down on him.

Ironically, he had never felt this good with any other client his in lifetime and they hadn't even done anything yet. His skin felt ablaze with flames licking at his more sensitive areas. He needed contact, he needed _more_.

A yelp followed by a sharp gasp of sickly pleasure invaded the silence as Lavi's hips grinded down against the younger boy's. Allen's cheeks were a brilliant crimson that rivaled that of Lavi's hair. His head shook right to left, his lips partially open for any source of possible oxygen.

Lavi had to admit, that _did_ feel pretty great. Hearing Allen's delicious  
reactions was an added bonus.

At this point, Allen couldn't construct proper sentences let alone remember his own name. All he could say seemed to be

"Please!"

Lavi's breathing was also heavy and labored as he gazed into Allen's silver eyes-shiny with tears.

Had he been hurting him?

Lavi seemingly snapped out of a dark haze he seemed to be under since that kiss…His eyes grew wide as he looked at what he had done to Allen. He was supposed to be **protecting** him, not **molesting** him. Lavi stood, his gaze averted with indignity.

Allen shivered and looked up at him.

"L-Lavi?"

He was no better than those sick bastards that raped him nightly.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-ngh-Yes." Allen stood up with a bit of effort and buried his face into his chest.

"Is there something wrong Lavi?"

Lavi stared at Allen intently as if to question his sanity.

"I…I can't do this. I'm not helping anyone by doing this."

_I can't do this to you…_


	20. Release

xDD Some long awaited smut for a patient audience 3 Thank you guys so much for your patience lately, as some of you know: it's nearing the end of my school year, meaning the onslaught of gigantic projects are more than enough to keep me from writing. This week, I'll most likely not be on as much. I had 5 projects due in a week soooo yeah. Hope you enjoy the smut and thanks for reading~!

Allen anxiously tinkered with the buttons of his shirt, gazing nervously at Lavi.

Had he done something wrong?

"L-Lavi…" Allen pleaded quietly; he needed this more than anything right now.

The redhead forced himself to look into Allen's eyes, immediately his heart felt like breaking.

It was the same look he had received the night he left Allen all alone in the hotel.

His hand reached up to calmly touch Allen's cheek, his thumb rubbing in smooth circles.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"You…haven't."

"I have. I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to use you."

"You aren't."

Allen was on the verge of tears, he curled upwards, his lips so close to Lavi's. The way it should have been.

"Allen—."

"Lavi. Listen to me."

"We shouldn't—."

"Listen to me." Allen whispered fiercely before letting out a small sigh.

"Lavi…You don't understand. I've never felt this way for someone else. Ever. You make me feel…you make me feel." He finished softly.

"All my life, I've numbed myself so I wouldn't get hurt; it was all I knew how to survive. But right now..I need you to help me know that I can open up and be okay."

Lavi stared at Allen with a twinge of sympathy and determination.

"Lavi, you need to understand that I think I lo—."

Allen quickly swallowed his own words as his lips were firmly pressed against Lavi's. The redhead held him so tightly, so desperately—it moved him to tears. He had never felt so wanted…so cared for…but in the arms of the one that had saved him.

Lavi felt his heart pound as he realized: Allen wanted this just as much as he was afraid to admit to.

Allen's meek hands timidly gripped Lavi's shirt, beckoning him closer. He felt his white hair being played with, gently stroked like he was the most precious treasure in the world.

To Lavi—he was.

Their lips moved against each other with such sweet bliss, their touches were erratic, yet their movements were as one of a waltz. Every caress, every kiss, every gaze made Allen's heart flutter.

Everything felt so surreal until a small plea pierced the silent aura of their dance.

"Lavi!" Allen whimpered as he felt lips wander to his collarbone, gently nipping before a slick tongue laved over it.

This was certainly music to Lavi's ears. Allen's hands were trembling because for the first time in his life—he didn't know what to do in this sort of situation. Lavi's fingers intertwined with Allen's, pinning them to the side of his head.

Allen was too enraptured in his pleasure to realize they were doing this on Lavi's outdoor balcony. But thank goodness Lavi still had a little piece of his mind to take them inside. He quickly scooped Allen into his arms before walking inside and setting him on his bed, which was white with red accents.

Allen looked positively delectable with his disheveled iridescent hair shining in the moonlight and his body splayed over Lavi's bed. His chest rose and fell at a frantic pace. He sat up a bit, pulling Lavi by his shirt to climb on top of him. Both were already lost in the haze of ecstasy and endorphins.

"Allen…"

"Ngh! Lavi!"

Allen's head dipped back demurely as his neck was ravished once more. It felt so good…Allen never remembered such activities being pleasurable to him, even as it was his occupation.

Allen stilled his fingers long enough to pop off the button of Lavi's shirt, his finger tracing along the firm skin underneath.

Allen's shirt was too, practically torn into shreds—but neither of them cared as the articles of clothing were tossed unceremoniously to the floor to be forgotten.

The light of the moon was the only thing that lighted the room, as the two gazed into each other's eyes, smoldering with passion. Emerald lighting intermixed with silver and indeed, it was a harmonious combination. It was quickly broken off though, as Lavi made quick work of their pants, the two groaning in sync as they were pulled off.

Allen let out a small keen as he felt fingers delicately brush over his arousal. His vision was cloudy and all he could do was _feel_. His hands idly grasped at Lavi's shoulders, internally begging for a kiss.

The wish was short-lived as it was quickly granted, Allen's lack of oxygen made his vision even hazier, but he loved it. He loved being with Lavi like this. He would give anything for this.

Lavi admired how beautiful Allen was in the moonlight, as his frail back arched with a quiet moan, eyes at half mast from such a mountain of pleasure.

His lips were once more at Allen's neck, as a swift distraction as he reached for something by his bedside.

Allen felt completely contented like this, of course he was more aroused that he would've liked to admit, but with good reason.

Lavi's lips trailed even lower, playfully licking at Allen's chest as he watched goose bumps rise on Allen's arms. Allen's entire body was trembling with anticipation, his back uncontrollably arching toward the sensation.

"Please…" he breathed as his breath hitched with wanting.

A yelp sounded from beyond shimmering pink lips when Allen felt an oh-so-similar intrusion. But this time it hardly hurt, just a sting. No one ever completely got used to this. Lavi groaned lowly, Allen was surprisingly tight, he could feel his heart beat faster as well as feel Allen's through his chest.

Sharp gasps and pants filled up the room as Lavi continued to prepare Allen for what was inevitably drawing nearer.

"Ahh!" Allen hissed with sudden pleasure as he ground himself down against Lavi's fingers.

Indeed something valuable had been recovered.

"Aga-in!" Allen pleaded, the word catching in his throat from the desperateness of his breathing.

Lavi couldn't help but smile as he gently stroked what he knew would prove essential later on.

Allen's lithe body thrashed around, aching with need and want. His spine felt like it was on fire and everything seemed to rise in temperature. His cheeks were full of color and his back seemed stuck in an arch. The redhead's tongue flickered out experimentally against Allen's partially slack lips, earning him a small moan from the younger boy. Lavi felt his hair being lightly tugged at, a silent plea for so much more. His knees were wrapped around Lavi's waist, allowing himself to be pleasured and fall captive to the older man.

A small and almost unintelligible moan floated past aroused ears. Lavi's will finally shattered as he pulled out his fingers, hastily replacing them with something so much bigger.

Nnngghh!!! Please!!" Allen's head thrashed from side to side.

His hips frantically met with Lavi's as his fingers and toes curled in wanton gratification.

His head shook from side to side; his body was numb with ecstasies and fluttering bliss. Loud moans from Allen's lips and low growls on Lavi's part resounded through the room. The two could only hope no one else could hear though at the moment—it was the least of their troubles.

Hurried thrusts and cries for more seemingly echoed and bounced off into both their ears as whines and whimpers for sweet release seemed amplified by a thousand fold.

"Lavi! K-Kiss me.."

And thus with a kiss, they were met with visions of white and rebounding stars.

Their breathing was erratic even after it all ended, Allen was dead tired and Lavi wasn't the perkiest person after such a feat.

After a few more minutes, Allen stood up out of bed, his lower back already feeling the aftermath of it all.

He still had no regrets.

Lavi sat up tiredly as he watched the younger boy walk unstably on his thin legs, walking out the door.

"Going somewhere?" Lavi asked with a smile.

Allen turned back with a smile of his own before mumbling something about 45 minutes and the chicken burning.

Just curious…

Did anyone catch:

1) The fact that they haven't said "I love you" yet? And when Allen tried, it was cut off? Hehehehe

2) The Romeo and Juliet reference? xDD HOW CHEESY OF ME.


	21. Smile

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update…how long has it been? Around a month or so? Gosh, how horrible of me to neglect you guys ; n ; Please accept this longer chapter to make up for it. And the fluff. The overwhelmingly glaring fluff.**

The two barely got any sleep as they lay next to each other in the dark hours of the morning just being there together and whispering sweet nothings. It was marvelous. They finally stumbled out of bed and were currently eating their chicken for breakfast. It was odd, but delicious nonetheless.

The two sat facing each other as they watched the sun come up.

"Hey, this isn't that bad."

"Of course it isn't!" Allen retorted defensively, after all—he made it.

"Well I'm just saying that—"

Allen smiled as he shoved a piece of chicken into Lavi's mouth.

That should shut him up.

Lavi had a shocked expression on his face before it turned into a grin.

The redhead reached over the table and smiled. Allen was not amused.

"What are you do—!"

Lavi chuckled and sat back down in his seat as Allen reluctantly chewed on the piece of chicken that was in turn forced into his mouth as he shot a fake glare at Lavi.

His grin grew wider.

"Hm, I should try that more often." He laughed.

Allen pouted and stared at the redhead before he burst out into his own laughter.

"I could say the same!" he backfired, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Lavi was still chuckling as he stood up; the look on Allen's face was absolutely priceless. He walked over to the sink to put his dishes away, washing his hands and tousling Allen's snow white hair before sitting back down across from him.

"So do you have any plans for today?" he asked, wondering if that was a good question to ask a prostitute.

"Uh. Go home I suppose."

"Is that a no?"

"Why do you want to know so much?" Allen's eyes narrowed playfully.

"Curiosity I suppose." Lavi countered with the same tone of voice as Allen had had.

Allen didn't like being mocked, but he could tell that it was all in good fun. He stared at Lavi for a second, pretending to ponder what to say while his mind screamed NO!

"I guess I don't have much to do when I get back."

"Great!" Lavi leaned on his elbows across the table and smiled while telling Allen his plan for the day.

Allen absolutely loved the svelte softness of the scarf blowing across his face. He still didn't remember how he was coaxed into this. He leaned against a nearby tree which wore a brilliant scarlet coat of leaves to welcome the autumn.

"Good, just tilt your head to your right a bit. No no, not that much. Okay good good, hold it!"

Allen stared into the camera lens as Lavi smiled behind it. Lavi had climbed a tree just to get this shot. And for the record, it was a giant tree at that.

_Snap Snap Snap _

"Great! Now look over there, that's it! Lift your head, okay wonderful."

_Snap Snap Snap _

Allen gazed into the distance as the cool autumn breeze enraptured his body. The sun was high in the sky, and the trees shined in all their glory—donning their most colorful treasures for the occasion. Allen was therefore the best for this photo shoot. He was perfect, amidst all these swirling colors, one would see a stunningly sublime flash of white, followed by the piercing pulchritude of his sterling silver eyes, just another compliment to all his other features.

Lavi paused and stared at Allen through the camera for around 2 minutes before the white-headed model turned to him with a confused expression on his face. He was so _beautiful_…

"Are we done?"

"No! Haha, of course not!" Lavi replied in a heartbeat, pretending to be adjusting the lens and settings of the camera.

"I still don't see why you'd want to do this."

"Potential. You have loads of it." came the simple answer.

Allen blushed at the comment and hid behind the grey scarf he was wearing.

"Oh wait! Hold it right there, okay that's fantastic! Okay, just hold on a bitttt okay lower your eyes, good!"

_Snap Snap Snap _

Allen let a small smile decorate his lips since it was obscured from view from underneath the scarf he was wearing.

He had to admit that this wasn't a _total _waste of his time. It was actually a nice change from his schedule from before Lavi had ever walked into his hotel room. Finally, it was something he had aspired to be…something he'd always wanted to embody. To model. It was what he had always wanted, and even though it was just a small, private photo shoot just for the heck of it, Allen felt a sense of accomplishment.

But he couldn't deny that he felt a twinge of sadness as well. It was like living in a dream world; everything had to go in the end. This photo shoot would end, Allen would go home, and continue to do what he did because it was necessary. Because it was _reality_. Because that was just the way the world worked.

Models could become prostitutes.

Prostitutes could _not_ become models.

Allen's thoughts were interrupted when the redhead jumped off the tree limb he had been sitting on. He stepped closer to Allen and smiled, searching with his emerald eyes what could possibly be wrong with him. After a few minutes of silent searching, Lavi gave up but moved on.

"Allen."

"Yes?"

"You don't smile very often."

"I smile a lot actually."

"…when do you actually mean it all?"

No answer.

Allen stood speechless. No one had ever questioned the sincerity of his smiles. He smiled very often, his clients often told him how charming it was. How cute it was, how cute his body was…They never once questioned it. Allen found it especially odd that Lavi would bring that up out of the blue, but if he had learned anything with Lavi, it was that things were often a bundle of surprises.

Allen smiled and shook his head slightly while he looked at Lavi

"I don't know what you mean by that."

Lavi's smile dropped a little.

"That. Right there. Did you mean that?"

"Why of course, why wouldn't I—."

"Are you telling the truth?"

Allen began to tear up; he didn't understand what the other wanted.

"…what is it you want me to say Lavi…"

"I want you to say what's on your mind."

"What's on my mind is not important."

Lavi's jaw clenched, this was ridiculous. His camera was slung around his neck as he leaned against the tree Allen had been leaning on.

"Don't ever say that."

"Beg your pardon?"

"Don't ever say that you are not important."

Allen smiled again.

"Uh, sure."

Lavi leaned in closer to Allen; they could smell the mints on their breath, the coolness or warmth of their synchronized breathing. The two just stared at each other, daring each other to bring it up again. Lavi closed his eyes.

"Allen…it hurts me when you put yourself down like that because I know you don't deserve it. You're too hard on yourself. You are charming and witty…and you appear to be completely blind to what you have to offer the world."

Yet another smile.

"Lavi, we don't know each other all too well, but I assure you that as time goes on, if we are still acquainted, you will see someone else. Your views about me will change."

"There you go again."

"I merely state the truth."

Lavi's voice became unstable, shocked and frustrated with how Allen beat himself down.

"Do you have any compassion for yourself?"

"Why, of course, why wouldn't I?"

"There, right there. Was that the truth?"

Allen paused and closed his eyes as well as his head reclined against the wood of the tree.

Silence.

"No."

Lavi's heart cracked. He'd worked in the fashion industry for god-knows how long…and never had he seen such low self confidence and esteem. Even in a world full of models that are always striving to be the "it" person, he had never seen anything like this. He wanted Allen to see what he saw. He wanted Allen to feel loved like he deserved to be. He wanted Allen to feel beautiful like he was already. He wanted Allen to have all the happiness in the world.

Lavi's hand soothingly touched Allen's cheek, cupping it in his hand, his thumb gently stroking its silky smooth texture. Allen leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and letting a single tear roll down his face and lightly splash on Lavi's hand.

Lavi's deep chartreuse eyes widened, but he wasn't quite so much NOT expecting it either. He carefully guided Allen's face closer, their lips so close to each other…At last, their lips touched with the sweetest of harmonies. Lavi drew his arms around Allen's waist, tenderly bringing him closer.

Allen's head spun with how amazing it felt…his hands gently gripped the lapels of Lavi's woolen black coat. The air around them caressed their bodies, the leaves danced around their feet in a sea of warmth and the sun peeked through the colorful leaves, brilliant light bathing them in a golden spotlight. Allen felt so safe when he was in Lavi's arms, nothing could touch him. Lavi just kept holding Allen close, refusing to let the moment die.

Allen felt _wonderful_…Allen felt _beautiful_. Allen felt _wanted_.

Far too soon, the kiss had ended, the two stood breathless in each other's arms, gazing into each other's eyes, wondering how this had ever happened. Finally,

Allen smiled.

And by that time, they both knew it was real.

**Review and tell me how you feel! I really do appreciate them all. They motivate me to write more :')**


	22. Night

**Hey guys! FIRST OF ALL: I APOLOGIZE SO MUCH FOR THE LATE CHAPTER. With final exams and all, I didn't have the time D: But now that they're all over, I can resume writing! I hope you guys enjoy this slightly longer chapter; I tried to make it as…interesting as I could. It also contains just a hint of plot in it so my night hasn't gone to waste :) ENJOY and I'll update as much as I can while I have my break!**

**PLEASE REVIEW. THEY REALLY DO MOTIVATE ME TO CONTINUE WRITING.**

Allen stood and waved politely as Lavi drove away. It was time for Allen to return to his life before any of this had happened.

Lavi looked in his rear view mirror at the boy who gradually got smaller and smaller the farther away he got. He was still stunningly beautiful from any distance though.

Allen waited until Lavi's car was out of sight before picking up his few belongings and walking into the hotel. He felt so much stronger, so much more empowered ever since Lavi came into his life. Nothing could touch him; nothing except Lavi would ever threaten to invade his world again.

His hips and back were still sore from his encounters…but he would live. He stumbled a little with his bags but managed to get all the way up the stairs, for the hotel elevator had been broken for a week or so now. His room was on the 2nd floor, the second to last door down the hall. He still had Lavi's scarf, the redhead had let him keep it. He snuggled his face into it and inhaled…the scent of Lavi was so alluringly unforgettable. It was comforting…it was home.

Allen fumbled with the keys before jiggling the doorknob open.

He was met with the eyes of two horrified people. Both were in bed doing less than dignified things. Allen froze.

Was this the right room? He was sure it was.

What were these people doing in his room?

"Can't you see we're kind of busy?" the woman huffed—annoyed.

"May I ask what you're doing in my room?" Allen asked as politely as he could. Why the heck were these people in his room? HIS room?

"Look kid, we went to the receptionist, asked for a room, paid for the room, and now we are in our room." The man replied.

"I-I don't understand…I already rented out this room for the next month or so…"

"Well how the hell am I supposed to know? Go deal with it with the reception lady. And for heaven's sakes, stop gaping and shut the goddamn door."

Allen, scared and confused out of his mind, shut the door and travailed back downstairs to inquire what had happened.

"Sorry kid, you were gone for god knows how long and after a while, I thought you may as well never come back. And besides, you were a little behind on your rent this month."

Allen shook his head.

"You don't understand…I swear I paid for a month exactly—in full when I got here."

"Sorry kid." Was all the receptionist could say.

Allen began to panic.

"Y-You don't understand ma'am…all my stuff was in there, I don't even know where half the stuff I own is."

"Oh that's easy, the big stuff we put in the dump, but all your personal stuff is in here." The lady lifted a heavy suitcase onto the desk.

Allen was shocked and stood in silence before panic began to set in much harder.

"I don't think you know this ma'am…but this is the only place I have to stay. I…I don't know where I'm going to live if I don't have my room back. Please—I'll pay you extra or something…just I need my room back. Or, don't you have any other rooms available? Any at all?"

The woman shook her head.

"No can do kiddo. Sorry 'bout that. Wish ya luck." She took a long drag from her cigarette and exhaled smoke through her nose.

Allen's eyes began to tear up. What would he do? Where would he stay? How could this be?

"Okay…thank you." Allen picked up the heavy suitcase and his other bags and wandered into the streets. He was all alone with one suitcase and a few small bags.

In a matter of seconds, the foundation of his life had been broken down. Demolished. Nonexistent.

His eyes began to tear up but Allen mentally slapped himself. He needed to stay strong and pull it together. He took a couple deep breaths and carried his suitcase to a nearby alley. It was well lit, and no one seemed to preside there other than a few trashcans.

Allen could do this. All he had to do was earn enough money to afford a small apartment or a hotel room as soon as a room opened up. Then he'd be back on his feet. No one needed to know about this. Especially Lavi…he had already helped him so much. He had even paid the medical bills. Yes, asking Lavi for help was the last option Allen would choose. Allen leaned again the brick wall of the hotel and closed his eyes, clutching his bags close to him. The only reminders of the small makeshift home he once had.

But he had no time to cry.

Not when money was to be made.

He'd have to raise his prices a bit, get better at negotiating. Look more attractive, act more appealing. He'd have to do just about everything he could so he could get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

_This is only a phase…this is only a phase…_

He quickly dug through the mess in his suitcase, he needed something short. Something that said "come get me".

He settled for black shorts, a red shirt with ruffles and a vest. He used a small amount of lotion on his cheeks, his elbows, his legs and dabbed a bit of rouge on his cheeks. He used a small bit of concealer under his eyes—he usually did that to cover up the dark circles from not sleeping all that much every night.

He had a former client that worked as a bouncer at a club so he would always receive free admission if he played his cards right.

That night, Allen hid his belongings behind the hotel dump; cleverly using plastic bags to make them look like trash as well that had fallen out of the bin. Hopefully no one noticed. It was the only thing Allen could do. The only place he could leave his belongings. He was on his own now.

Allen knew from day one what a dangerous job he was getting himself into. Every night before he left for "work" he'd remind himself to be extra careful of the clients he chose. He was aware of all the stories of prostitutes being brutally raped, abused, and then murdered. He knew what he was getting into…but he still needed the money. He was in it for the money and he needed this to survive. Sometimes, you had to risk something in order to obtain what you needed.

With one last check in a murky puddle on the street and in the window of a pet store, Allen set off toward the club.

"C'mon, give us a snog." The bouncer slurred, obviously a little drunk himself.

"Then you promise you'll let me in?"

"Suure sure." He nodded.

Allen leaned in for a daring kiss, grabbing the sides of his former client's head, timidly stroking his hair as he let the man do whatever he pleased for a few moments. He needed the money and he wasn't about to stop there.

Eventually the two parted for air and Allen's cheeks were dusted a light red but he huffed and put on a pleadingly submissive look on his face. Oh the things he had to do.

"May I enter now?"

The bouncer simply grunted and moved over a little to let him pass.

Allen smiled and thanked him before walking into the pulsating club. His pupils immediately dilated with the hypnotically flashing strobe lights blinking on and off at an alarming rate. There were cheers from another side of the club. Some was undoubtedly getting lucky. On rare and desperate occasions, the person "getting lucky" was Allen.

He took a deep breath before plunging into the dense crowd of sweaty bodies, sinfully rubbing against each other. He headed straight for the center of the dance floor—where most of the privileged danced and partied.

He already had his eye on a certain man as soon as he hit the dance floor. He was tall, wearing the remnants of a business suit, and most importantly: he was wearing a Rolex watch that looked like it was worth more than Allen could ever hope to make in a lifetime.

His legs still ached and his lower back was absolutely **killing **him…but when Allen had his mind set on something, he was going to get it regardless of the circumstances.

He hated to lose.

Slowly, but surely Allen was getting closer and closer to his target, eventually singling him out as other men began to claim the other women dancing around him. He was Allen's for the taking. The white haired boy suavely interweaved himself until he was cleverly positioned in front of the man. He pretended to bump into the man before he turned around and smiled flirtatiously.

He could see from the man's eyes that he was probably moderately, if not heavily intoxicated.

Perfect.

His eyelashes lowered alluringly over his silver eyes which seemed to flicker in the dim light. He looked up at the man and saw that his eyes were a murky blue and they seemed to smolder like heated sapphires. This was a good sign.

Allen pretended to be nonchalant about the whole ordeal and in a very "go with the flow" gesture; he placed his hands on the man's shoulders, dancing to the beat of the music, swaying his hips seductively in the darkness amidst sporadically bright lights.

A smirk returned to his face as he felt hands grab his waist. This was Allen's signal to pretend to lose interest. His dancing wasn't as sexy and his arms dropped from the man's shoulders. He smiled and turned to leave when—

Score.

The man grabbed Allen's wrist as he retreated and pulled Allen back against his chest. Allen was rather disgusted with how sweaty the man was. He was nothing like Lavi. He didn't seem charming in the least, if anything—he seemed like some corporate bonehead looking for a good time. He was Allen's ideal prey. His clients usually hit the club for a night on the town, seeking some fun filled pleasure.

And Allen was there to graciously offer his services.

Given, some, if not most of his men were straight. They were most often fooled by Allen's girlish looks and were reluctant once they found out. But they were also most often intoxicated, and unable to think of anything nonetheless pass judgments as Allen sucked their wallets dry.

Allen was usually kind hearted…he would never do this unless he was forced to. Which…he was in a sense. He seemed to become a different person in a sense. A person of the night. An incubus. A seductive young boy looking for some seemingly-innocent fun.

He had learned that this was a persona he needed to become in order to be successful in this kind of industry. It didn't matter what his morals were, if he needed money, he needed money. It was as simple as breathing and Allen was all too familiar with this occupation anyways. Piece of cake.

The man tugged on Allen's arm a few minutes later, and the two careened through the crowd to his own private booth. He later noticed that it was indeed a VIP room. Allen was surprised to say the most. He was pulled onto the man's lap where his lips were promptly captured. Allen let out a small moan, it was fake but years of practice made it seem so real. Well, real enough so the man didn't notice the difference.

Right as things began to heat up; Allen pulled away and feigned a sense of hurriedness.

"I have to leave now…sorry. I guess I'll catch you around?" he said with a mysteriously alluring voice. It was almost like the purr of a cat. Smug, confident, and dripping with sex appeal.

"Wait. You can't leave now."

"Oh?"

The man seemed to ponder a reply.

Allen's hips had a small sway in them as he walked back to the man's lap, sitting on it and smirking.

"I have an idea…"

The rest of the night was like any other.

**Hehehehe…personally, I like Allen's Nighttime persona. Do you guys? Do you prefer innocent Allen or seductive Allen? Tough choice….WELL. REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND! :D**


	23. Meeting

**Hey guyyyyssss! It's me again, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS :DDD Hahaha anyways, here's another chapter to fulfill your non-existent need to read my fanfiction. HOPE YOU ENJOY :D**

**And if you DID enjoy, please feel free to review! **

Allen woke up early with a pounding headache from being slammed against a headboard one too many times. He looked around at his surroundings—he was naked and the man next to him looked at least five times less attractive than he did the night before. Perhaps it was the lighting.

Allen quickly got up, put back on his outfit (which had been carelessly tossed to the floor) and grabbed everything he owned. Not to mention he grabbed the man's wallet, smiling as he pulled out twenty after twenty after twenty and a few tens before he ran to the door, closing it with a "click".

The fresh morning air hit his face as Allen breathed a sigh of relief. He could see his breath on the air, and the early morning sun was bright and made the air tint with yellow. His legs hurt like he'd been running a 100 mile marathon and his back ached like he'd been stabbed multiple times. But all in all, it was just another typical day.

He returned to his spot on the alleyway, relieved to see his bags were still there. He stood behind the tall dirty green garbage disposal and quickly changed into another outfit. He had on a simple T-shirt that was a little too big for him, and light colored, tight fitting jeans that complimented his long and thin legs. He contemplated wearing the scarf Lavi had given him, but he didn't want the smell of Lavi's cologne to go away so he decided against it.

Allen froze. Speaking of Lavi, what if he tried to call the hotel room? He could just say that he moved to another room. Yeah. He could say that. Allen tried to calm himself down by sitting on his suitcase. It was sunny outside, but not much of it peeked into the alley.

Lavi must've been at work by then.

Allen sighed before burying his face into the scarf he had set aside earlier. He already missed the redhead. His untamed crimson hair, the comfort of his hugs, the security of his arms…Allen got goose bumps just thinking about it. The warmth of his smile, the kindness in his eyes, the melody of his laugh…

Allen wouldn't have minded getting sick again if it meant he'd get to see Lavi again.

Finally, Allen decided that maybe being melancholy about the whole ordeal would only make him sadder. So he stood and grabbed necessities that he couldn't live without, putting them in a tan messenger bag. He would carry it around with him while he left other, not as important things in the alleyway.

He hid his belongings, and started toward the shopping district. He usually just browsed around and tried clothes on for the sake of trying them on. He liked to think that he was modeling the clothes he'd wear. He looked more or less like a girl, so he wasn't shot strange looks when he tried on girly clothes or anything of the like.

At last, he entered a posh, brightly lit store that carried all the latest fashions and began to search through sales racks. He would assemble an outfit, and then try it on. Of course after a few times he'd have to leave to another store or else the store people would get suspicious and try to sell him something. He'd make pouty faces in the mirror, trying all different kinds of poses and angles in the mirror. He'd mess around with some clothes and try to make them his own. He'd pretend that the clothes he was wearing were really his. Sure, he already had a few outfits that were cute and looked like they came from a store like this (which they sometimes did), but it was just the thrill of fresh new clothes that made Allen feel longing for them.

He could hear the cameras flashing and the small suggestions the photographer would shout from behind the camera. It all seemed so real, but in the end he was left to realize he was in a dressing room in a store in a shopping district where everything often costed as much as a few days' worth of food.

"Okay just try that on really quickly and if it fits, we can head back alright?" called a voice.

Allen paused before opening the door a crack. It sounded familiar.

It was Lavi.

Allen panicked as he closed the door once more.

"I think this is too big for me" replied a high pitched feminine voice.

"It's okay, we can throw on a belt and call it fashion" he chuckled.

Allen smiled at Lavi's sense of humor. He wanted to throw himself into his arms and ask if he had any free time soon to go out. He wasn't quite sure at that point whether they were considered "together" or not. They'd technically "done it" together…but that was more of a spur of the moment thing. He hadn't heard Lavi actually refer to him as his "boyfriend" or anything of the sort. Now Allen was confused and didn't know whether asking Lavi to go out somewhere was awkward or not.

"Okay, let's go—we've got some work to finish up." Lavi ordered and the two voices faded.

Allen cautiously stepped out of the dressing room, grabbing the clothes, putting them on the "unwanted" rack and leaving. He looked behind him to see if they had simply moved a bit. He hoped they didn't catch him. It'd be terribly awkward if he had to run into Lavi—

"Excuse me, sorry" Allen called after bumping into someone's chest as he speed walked toward the door.

"Hey! Allen!" Lavi called with a smile. Was that really him? What a coincidence. Lavi jogged to Allen before tapping him on the back.

Allen's body grew rigid, thinking he was going to be asked to make a purchase or something as bad. He slowly turned around to see Lavi and slowly a sigh of relief overtook his features. But a few moments after _that_, things began to become awkward again.

"So, what brings you here?"

"Just looking around…you?"

"Finding some clothes for a model that didn't bring her outfit to work today."

"Oh, haha well I guess you better be going?"

"I guess. But hey, are you free later? If you want, you can even come to work with me…that is—if you're not in a hurry yourself."

Allen paused to think about it…should he?

"I don't want to bother you, I guess we could just meet up after you're done working."

"No, no, it's okay!" Lavi said with a grin.

"We wouldn't mind if you came back with us. It'd be easier to find each other."

Allen felt a small blush creep up to his face.

"S-Sure." Allen mentally hit himself for stuttering and sounding like an idiot, but was soon swept away by Lavi and his model.

**Reviews to me are like hugs over the internet…HUG MEEEEE**


	24. Amusement

**Hey guys! Here's an extra-long chapter since I'll be pretty busy for the next week or so…sorry for not updating so fast! Here you go! Enjoy! I probably won't update for another week and a half :/**

"Okay let's wrap this up!" Lavi called out from behind his camera. He wanted to get back to Allen as soon as possible.

00000

It had already been a few hours and Allen was sitting in Lavi's office, nervously fidgeting while staring out the window. The day was bright and colorful. People were swarming to get to where they needed to go—since it was around lunch time for some. Allen's stomach grumbled in protest as the thought flooded his head. The last thing he had to eat were little chocolates that were by the bar last night. He rejected a martini in exchange for more chocolates. His stomach began to grumble louder as Allen cursed himself for being so obvious.

He spared a quick glance at the clock, it was 2 PM, and Lavi said he'd be back around now. Allen wondered what Lavi had in mind for today. Hopefully there'd be some food involved. Allen blushed angrily—thinking of how selfish he sounded.

The door opened silently as Lavi peered inside at Allen—who was leaning against a nearby wall and staring out the window. It would've been the perfect picture. Warm sunlight flooded the room, giving Allen's pure white hair a slightly yellow tint. It was breathtakingly beautiful. Lavi slowly crept up to Allen's turned back, suddenly grabbing Allen shoulders.

Allen froze up and squeaked before he flipped around to see who it was.

"You scared me!" Allen scolded, lightly punching Lavi's arm.

"As was my intention." Lavi replied in an instant, grinning as he pulled Allen into a hug.

Allen grew rigid again, his face flooding with a dainty pink as Lavi wrapped his protective arms around his waist. He hesitantly brought his arms around the redhead's neck, much to the happiness of Lavi.

"How was work?" Allen asked quietly into Lavi's ear. He shivered when Lavi began soothingly rubbing his hand up and down his back.

"It was…ordinary. Nothing really new happened. I took pictures, edited pictures, took care of hiring some new models, and had to write recommendations for other photographers." He replied simply.

"Oh..? Sounds tedious."

"It _is _tedious." Lavi laughed,

"So…ready to head out?"

"S-Sure." Allen cursed himself for sounding stupid again. He always managed to fit in a stutter when he was near Lavi.

They reluctantly fell away from each other as Lavi organized his desk and shoved a cell phone in his pocket. He smiled when he remembered something.

Allen stared at him curiously as the redhead began fumbling through the drawers of his desk for something.

"Ah, there it is."

Lavi approached Allen with a small object in his hand. He put it in Allen's hand and grinned.

"You might already have one, but in case you don't—I got you a cell phone so we can keep in touch. I already added you in my Contacts and it's fully paid for. Just call or text whenever you need me."

Allen stared dubiously at the cell phone in his hand. It was white with red buttons and highlights. He went to his contacts and saw

"Lavi :P" as the first one.

Allen smirked and looked up at the redhead.

"The smiley was just that necessary hm?" he teased.

Lavi laughed heartily before replying with, "Of course!"

Allen smiled warmly at the little device. It was as if Lavi read his mind when he began to worry about Lavi calling his hotel room. Incredible.

"Well? Let's go!" Lavi said, ushering Allen out the door.

00000

"An amusement park?" Allen questioned, staring up at Lavi suspiciously.

"Uh-huh!" he replied with his signature crooked grin.

Allen gulped silently as they approached the sound of steel sliding against steel, gaudy carnival music, and the sound of adrenaline-wrenched screams.

He was deathly afraid of heights.

Lavi's hand found Allen's as they headed into the park. The sounds of exhilarated screams were enough to frighten Allen. He instinctively squeezed Lavi's hand. He could see from the corner of his eye, Lavi looking at him strangely, but Allen decided not to make eye contact at the moment. He just needed to concentrate on how he was going to weasel out of riding everything.

"Oh hey! Let's go on that one!" Lavi pointed to a rollercoaster that dove from 40 feet in the air and twisted upside down.

Allen bit his lip.

"U-Um…what about that one?" he pointed pitifully at the teacup ride.

Lavi gave him a strange look before shrugging and grinning.

"Alright then, let's go!"

Once they were in line for the teacups, Allen breathed a sigh of relief. He could at least put off the rollercoaster for a while if he kept suggesting other…less dangerous rides.

Once the gates opened, Allen quickly grabbed Lavi's hand and made a dash for a red teacup. Lavi smirked and followed along before the two sat down.

"Please keep hands, arms, feet, and legs in the seat. Parents, please keep your children seated. Enjoy the Teacup ride and the rest of your day. Thank you" reminded an automated voice.

Lavi grabbed the wheel in the middle, ready to turn it and spin like crazy. Allen quickly followed. The two grinned at each other as a bell sounded off and the teacups were thrown into motion.

Instantly, they began spinning and turning and weaving in and out of tracks and Allen could barely see anything in front of him. Everything was a blur and he was being tugged this way, and then pulled the other way, and then tugged another way again and—it was so much fun.

Allen didn't remember the last time he'd been in an amusement park, nonetheless with a…date.

This _was_ a date right?

Allen didn't even care anymore; he was already having so much fun with Lavi. Sometimes, he wondered why Lavi had taken a liking to him. He was withdrawn, tainted, had strange appearances and was sleeping with people for money.

Lavi on the other hand, thought differently. Allen was beginning to become everything that passed his mind. Every 5 minutes, something else would remind him of the white-haired boy. And every time Allen was in his thoughts, Lavi couldn't help but fall more and more in love with the boy.

Nothing else really mattered.

Too soon, the ride began to slow down before a small "hiss" was heard from beneath them, signaling the end of the ride. Both of them tried to stand up, wobbling in their step as they stumbled off the ride. They met eyes before laughing at each others' ruffled appearances.

They staggered off the platforms and back out into the main street of the amusement park.

"Oh my gosh I-I can't see straight." Allen murmured, trying his best to refocus his eyes.

"Tell me about it." Lavi quipped, looking around.

"It's all your fault for wanting to go so fast!" Allen blamed jokingly.

"Hey, hey, _you _were the one getting so competitive." Lavi retorted.

The two grinned off into space as they walked off into some unknown direction.

00000

The next few hours were both heaven and torture for Allen. He was constantly under fear that he would eventually have to face up to the tallest ride in the park—the one Lavi had pointed out when they first entered the place. How could anyone stand to plunge toward the ground from that high in the sky? It was irrational and irresponsible. What if someone got hurt? What if the ride froze mid-route?

Of course, Allen only worried when he wasn't on a ride with Lavi. When he was, his mind was completely blank besides the wonder of how this could've possible happened. How did Allen even end up meeting such a great guy?

During some rides, he'd even catch himself staring at the redhead. He'd examine every pristine angle of Lavi's face. The deep emerald of his eyes…he crookedness of his grin, the perfect tone of his skin, the curve of his lips, and the luminescence of his teeth when he flashed a smile his way. He was wearing yet another scarf—it was navy blue and blew in the wind. Allen remembered the heavenly scent of Lavi's cologne when they had hugged in his office.

What had he done to deserve this?

Was this a dream?

It had to be…in reality Allen was sleeping on his suitcase behind the dumpster in that moonlit alleyway by the hotel was he not?

Lavi's hand found its way around Allen's, its warmth coursing through Allen's body.

This was _definitely_ not a dream…

"Hey Allen, let's go on the Lightning Bolt!" Lavi chirped while pointing to the deathly tall coaster they'd met with before.

Allen stared at the ride as people raised their hands into the air when they glided by.

"That one?" he squeaked.

"Yeah, that one." Lavi replied cheerfully.

His deep green eyes glinted with such excitement and adventure, Allen could not possibly say no to them.

"A-Alright…" he mumbled as he was led away by the redhead—slowly being pulled closer to his demise.

Once they arrived there, Allen fearfully stared at the towering beast of steel and metal.

It was roaring, and screeching and groaning as it came to a stop. And Lavi and Allen were not too far away from the front of the line.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Lavi exclaimed excitedly, draping his arms around Allen's shoulders while standing behind him.

Allen smiled nervously and bit his lip before he shrugged off Lavi's arms.

"Lavi?"

Lavi looked at him with a confused expression gracing his features.

"I…" Allen sighed.

"I have a fear of heights" he mumbled.

Lavi looked at him sympathetically.

"Then why didn't you just say so? We don't have to go on this." He said with a small smile.

"Yes we do." Allen assured,

"I see how your eyes light up when you see it—we should ride it then." Allen said, gulping down his fears.

Lavi looked at Allen disbelievingly.

"If you're frightened of it…I don't think riding it would be a good idea."

"No, no Lavi, it's okay now." Allen pressed, determined to make him happy.

"I don't know…I don't want—."

Allen stood on his tippy-toes and gave Lavi a lightning fast peck on the cheek before touching the ground again.

His cheeks flooded with heat and he mumbled a soft,

"I said it was okay…"

Lavi looked intently at Allen, smiling wickedly after the small kiss. Allen was usually so shy around him…it was refreshing to know that he was willing to grab his affection when he wanted to.

"How many in your group?" asked the operator.

"Just two." Allen replied, grabbing Lavi's hand and walking onto the platform and into a car that seated 6 people. It had gaudy yellow lightning bolts painted on the sides.

Allen could practically feel his heart pounding in his ears. His breathing was anything but steady…but he wanted to do this both to get rid of his fear, and to please Lavi.

The vehicle jerked forward before smoothly heading up a high slope. Allen closed his eyes tightly shut, trying his best to maintain his breathing. He tightly gripped the safety car in front of him, hanging on for dear life when he felt a hand overlap his. He opened his eyes—surprised until they met with comforting green eyes.

"It'll be over before you know it." Lavi whispered, nuzzling his nose into Allen's neck.

Allen nodded and finally looked around him.

He could see the whole amusement park…and at least 3 more miles beyond it. It was already getting pretty dark so the entire city seemed to be lit up. It was an exhilarating view of the world. All the tiny houses lined up by the road and all the people who resembled mere ants. The lights of different colors flashing and blurring.

But very quickly, with a small creak, the coaster began to dive forward, bolting past anything in its way at a hundred miles per hour. Screams and shrieks of fear and excitement could be heard from the cars in front and behind them.

Lavi was laughing the entire time—his arms blithely thrown into the air. Allen suppressed a whimper but had to admit that the wind on his face was quite invigorating.

And just like Lavi had said, they arrived back at the platform in almost no time at all. Lavi grinned widely at Allen, who smiled in return.

"Were you scared?" he asked as they got out.

"A little.." Allen admitted.

"Think you're over your fear of heights then?"

"Ahaha…maybe not entirely."

"Well good I guess, because now we can go on the Ferris Wheel!" Lavi proclaimed.

Allen froze and looked around before his eyes met up with a yet another towering giant. It was lit up as well: red, blue, white, yellow, green, orange, and pink lighting up and blinking through the night sky.

Allen didn't have much to say before he was swiftly pulled toward yet another fear to conquer.

**Please review and make me feel better in this time of stress. D;**


	25. Passion

**Woo! Another chapter! A special thanks to "****vftm2" for pointing out how irresponsible I was being in terms of rational background. Hahaha sometimes, being lazy makes you look stupid. Anyways, in this chapter I've tried to give at least a small explanation of Allen's fear of heights. Hope it's…acceptable?**

**000**

The line was not very long for a ride that was supposedly the biggest attraction of the amusement park.

Allen's head had to tilt all the way up to see the entire Ferris wheel in all its grandeur. It was spinning awfully sluggishly and already, Allen felt a pang of fear for the monstrous giant.

"It's…pretty t-tall." Allen commented, tripping over his own words.

Lavi nodded with a dashing smile, "It sure is."

Allen's face bloomed with an indignant pink when he felt Lavi's fingers interlace with his.

He instinctively squeezed it, causing his face to turn even redder. He was furious with himself for being so easily flustered today.

And everyday around Lavi.

As they began to come closer to the front of the line, Allen's heart raced faster and faster. His adrenaline caused his senses to heighten and he felt like he was ready to run 50 miles.

His breathing became erratic as well when he thought back to when he was 14 years old. He had been passed around from foster home to foster home, never being adopted, but cared for nonetheless by random families that decided to be charitable.

One just happened to be on a rickety old house barely suspended over the ocean. By then, Allen already had an irrational fear of heights. Staying in this house only caused him to live in constant fear. He would never look out the windows and when he felt the house sway slightly in the ocean wind, he'd run out of the house as quickly as he could to the safe cliff it halfway rested on. Eventually, he ended up angering the family and was forced out onto the streets of a nearby city where Allen consequently began prostituting.

"It's going to be alright, I promise." Lavi whispered into Allen's ear.

He always knew just what to do to make Allen's heart hammer harder against his chest.

It was very noisy, the hustle and bustle of the eagerly waiting line filling the night air with chatter and laughter. But to Allen, it was dead silent as they were called up by the ticket taker to the colossal monster. Lavi squeezed Allen's hand before he pulled him along with him to the hanging compartment for two.

It was rather cozy inside; the seats were made of cold plastic, warmed by the people before them. There was a fairly wide window right in front of them and the compartment and a door on the side Allen was on. He was very tempted to reach for it and run like hell, but he knew that it would disappoint Lavi.

"Feeling alright?" Lavi asked concernedly.

"I'm fine. It's not as bad as I thought it would be." Allen replied nervously.

"That's because we're still on the ground!" Lavi laughed.

Allen smiled weakly, "Exactly my point."

Almost as if on cue, the Ferris wheel began to move. Allen felt as if he'd been jolted with lightning and was completely rigid like a statue as they ascended into the air.

After a few moments of tension filled silence, Lavi finally chuckled and soothingly rubbed Allen's back.

"Come on now, sit back and relax."

Allen looked at Lavi with such a pitifully fearful expression on his face that he almost took that back.

They were moving at a snail's pace, but that didn't matter to Allen, that just meant more time being spent suspended so high up in the air.

They were nearing the top when Lavi patted Allen's back and said,

"Look outside!" with a twinge of awe to his voice.

Allen did as he was told and felt his shoulders relax just a little bit as he gazed out the window at the lit up city below. It was sparkling all different colors and it seemed like one big candle.

"It's beautiful…" he breathed.

_You're beautiful Allen…_

Lavi was hesitant as he looked out into the lit darkness. The sight was astoundingly magnificent and here he was sitting next to such a wonderful person.

"Allen.."

Allen turned to Lavi with a soft, "Hm?"

He was met with lips gently pressing against his own.

And after a little while…

He felt himself cautiously pressing back.

Lavi's hand tenderly cupped Allen's cheek, motioning him closer as they floated closer to the top. The lights were twinkling with approval below and the stars were twinkling admiringly from above.

Allen's breathing became slightly calmer with the kiss. He placed a timid hand on Lavi's leg and leaned closer to the redhead. It felt incredible and all his fears began to slowly melt away. It felt like electricity was flowing from Lavi to him. It was invigorating and like nothing he'd ever felt before.

He'd only ever felt it with Lavi.

Lavi's eyes were closed, and Allen just started wondrously at his placidly handsome face. His fingers gently interlaced with Lavi's red hair as his other fingers intertwined with Lavi's fingers.

After a few moments, Allen felt his eyes begin to close when Lavi began to pull away. He almost pouted. It was too early.

The two stared at each other for an instant—astounded and exhilarated at how good it felt.

Immediately, seemingly at the same time, their lips crashed against each other once more, their passion quickly igniting.

Allen's arms found their way around Lavi's neck as Lavi's arms found their way around Allen's waist.

It was a feeling that couldn't possibly described as anything but a pleasant electric shock.

Lavi's tongue prodded at Allen's rose petal lips which promptly opened. Lavi possessively pulled Allen closer, letting his tongue dip into Allen's mouth, which was rewarded with a small gasp muffled by their embrace.

No one could ever make him feel this way besides Lavi.

Their tongues mingled, Allen's playfully flickering against Lavi's until falling to his warpath of lustful domination.

Only Lavi.

The small compartment was quickly a little more than just cozy. The temperature seemed to rise every second their lips collided. Allen was backed up against his side of the compartment as Lavi pressed him further against it.

His fingers desperately and wantonly grasped at blazing scarlet hair. They reluctantly pulled away for air, gasping for breath. Lavi smiled and opened his mouth to say something when Allen grabbed the sides of his head and forced their lips together again. Allen could feel Lavi's lips twist into a smirk against his own and Allen couldn't help but smile a bit himself.

Their tongues flickered and intermingled, their gazes smoldering as their eyes closed.

The back of Lavi's hand soothingly stroked Allen's cheek, subsequently earning him a deliciously stifled moan. Finally, the two knew that they had to stop soon and regrettably pulled away.

Allen's face was a beautiful sight to see. His hair was slightly messed up and his eyes were at half mast and filled with want. His cheeks were tinted a hazy red and his lips were a glossy bright pink in the moonlight.

The two took a few moments to catch their breath before they smiled at each other. They turned to stare at the window in front of them—which was now almost completely fogged up. They turned back to face each other and burst into laughter and wicked smiles.

"Oh no!" Allen laughed, drawing a smiley face on the window.

Lavi added a mustache, a goatee, glasses, and bushy eyebrows to it and laughed right along with him.

The two sat back in comfortable silence, looking out the now less foggy window into the beautiful view below. They were slowly, but surely descending and for that Allen was truly grateful. He probably would've had a meltdown had it not been for Lavi's…cleverly disguised distraction.

The two quickly exited the compartment as it touched back down to the ground, Allen a little shaky on his legs but still fine nonetheless.

"I told you'd be alright." Lavi bragged with a wide grin.

Allen rolled his eyes and punched Lavi's arm.

"Oh be quiet." He ordered with a small smile.

**Yayyy! Reviewplz? **

**BTW-I simply delete "Favorites" on this story. I prefer reviews D: *IS A BRAT***


	26. Gratification

**BBS BACK WITH A QUICK UPDATE ;DD This is in honor of Independence Day (in America), and you'll see why :D This chapter isn't very long like my others before this, but I hope the fluff and gratification makes up for it!**

**000**

The night air was crisp and illuminated by warm lights from all the vendors and booths there were. There were shouts and yells for people to be entertained and attractions that were advertised.

Lavi and Allen were busying themselves at a water gun booth. Allen was certain he'd beat Lavi at THIS game. He had yet to win one yet anyhow.

Lavi didn't seem fazed at all. He simply took off his black coat and set it on a nearby stool before he took hold of his water gun.

"On your marks folks! Get set! GO!" The man at the booth shouted, and all at once, everyone at the booth began to simultaneously shoot at the targets 8 feet in front of them.

Lavi grinned as he focused on the target while Allen squinted his eyes in determination. He was going to win this one for SURE.

"Ladies and gentlemen please put down your water guns! The winner is..!"

Allen felt himself smile when the man walked towards him. He won! He won!

But the man stopped in front of Lavi, grabbed his wrist and raised it in the air while the others watching clapped. The redhead was handed a white teddy bear with brown button eyes and a red heart on its tummy.

He bowed casually at the man before he grabbed his coat and was about to put it on when he spotted Allen frowning.

"Oh come on Allen it was just a game!" Lavi teased with a smirk.

Allen pouted. He had really wanted to win. He hadn't won ONCE that whole day. He was pulled into a comforting hug. Allen tried his best to stay angry, but he couldn't help but melt into the redhead's arms.

"If it'll make you feel better, you can have the prize." Lavi whispered as if speaking to a little boy.

"Promise?" Allen grumbled into Lavi's coat after a few moments.

His cheeks were bright red.

He had paused before answering so he could stay in Lavi's warm arms for just a bit longer. The night was cold and Allen didn't have on a jacket.

Lavi laughed and held Allen closer.

"Promise."

"Alright" Allen mumbled grudgingly before he reluctantly peeled himself away from the safety of the other's arms.

Lavi handed Allen the bear and Allen simply stared suspiciously at it. He'd never owned a stuffed animal before as a kid. He was too busy selling his own body for that.

"What's this for anyways?" He asked.

Lavi was shocked for a few moments before he began to understand that perhaps Allen had never had one before.

"Well…you can hug it close when you're lonely and think of me when I'm not there."

Allen blushed wildly at the thought before he rolled his eyes and replied defensively with,

"Like that'll happen anytime soon."

Allen immediately regretted what he said when he saw hurt in Lavi's normally charming jade eyes.

He didn't think as he stepped closer to Lavi and stood on his tip toes as he wrapped his arms around the photographer's neck.

"I-I didn't mean that…" he whispered apologetically into his ear.

But Allen had already been forgiven as he felt arms encircle his waist. He sighed happily at the feeling and murmured a small,

"I'm sorry…I'm having so much fun and I'm being ungrateful…Thank you." He really meant it. He didn't remember the last time he had ever had so much fun.

He never remembered being this happy in his life.

"It was my pleasure." Lavi replied like the gentleman he was.

Allen's hair was softly stroked, Lavi admiring its consistency and silky texture.

Allen's cheeks felt like the sun. He could already tell (even though it was pretty dark) that he was as red as a ripe tomato. They'd been seeing each other for quite a while now, and Allen had been in the business of love and lust for as long as he could remember and even now he was still hopelessly flustered when he felt Lavi's touch.

His job was to attract, charm, and intrigue men, leaving them wanting more.

But Lavi was a strange case. He was so unnerving. He made Allen's heart melt and seemed to have complete control of it.

That was the key difference. Allen's heart had never been used to being captivated like this. Not like this.

Eventually after a few awkward moments following, the two shuffled away from each other, staring off into space and whatnot.

Allen shivered as a breeze tickled the back of his neck. Lavi detected it right away and hurriedly took off his coat—handing it to Allen.

"Here, put this on, it's awfully chilly tonight." He warned worriedly.

"Ah, no it's okay." Allen replied, not wanting Lavi to be cold instead.

"I have a sweater on Allen, I'm pretty warm. You're not." He scolded lightly as he draped his coat around Allen.

"Now, wanna leave?" Lavi asked before he was interrupted by the booming sound of fireworks.

Allen squeaked quietly in surprise before he looked up into the night sky and saw a burst of color slowly falling from the sky.

"Fireworks…" he gasped.

Lavi grabbed his hand before tugging it.

"Follow me."

The two dodged in and out of crowds until they reached a hill-like structure near the fireworks tent. There were dozens upon dozens of people sitting and watching the fireworks show with loved ones. The two found a relatively secluded spot before they sat down as watched the fireworks explode midair.

There were splashes of color painting the canvas of the night sky. The two watched in awe as every color imaginable penetrated their field of view.

"It's beautiful…" Allen whispered for a second time that night.

"_You're_ beautiful…" Lavi said aloud for the first time that night.

Allen turned to Lavi and gave him a quizzical look. Was that meant to be said out loud?

And for the second time that night, their lips met.

The redhead had made the first move, leaning in and letting their lips touch just barely for a while before Allen pressed his lips down against Lavi's. It wasn't passionate, or filled with lust.

It was sweet and loving. Caring and endearing, tender as it was fond and amorous.

Allen's heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings, still not used to Lavi's touch. His warm cheeks were grazed with the cool night air.

"Allen…I love you." Lavi whispered in Allen's ear.

Allen's breath hitched in his throat. It was the first time Lavi had ever said that to him…so it was only fair that he return the feeling.

"I love you too Lavi…" those words felt like golden water falling from his lips.

He'd finally said it.

And with the moon and splatters of color in the night sky as their witnesses, the two felt their lips touch once more.

**000**

"Good Night Lavi…" Allen whispered, about to shut the door to the passenger's seat.

Lavi leaned over for a quick kiss before replying with a quiet,

"Sweet dreams."

Allen smiled, "Most definitely. You too."

"Without a doubt." Lavi returned the smile.

Allen hugged the snow white bear Lavi had given him and turned to walk toward the hotel lobby. He turned at the door to the lobby and waved Lavi off.

Lavi waved from the car and drove off toward home before Allen walked over to the alley nearby the hotel.

He sat quietly down on his suitcase he dragged out from underneath the dumpster and sat down on top of it, resting his head on the brick wall behind him before he realized he was still wearing Lavi's oversized black coat. It smelled pleasantly of him too.

Allen took off the coat and used it as a blanket. He took out Lavi's scarf and wrapped it around his neck and chin, then hugged the teddy bear close to his chest.

"_Well…you can hug it close when you're lonely and think of me when I'm not there."_

Allen smiled weakly and fell asleep to the sound of streetcars and distantly barking dogs.

And his head and heart overflowing with thoughts of a certain redhead.

**000**

**Awww Allennnn! WELL. THEY FINALLY TOLD EACH OTHER HOW THEY FEEL. AND KISSED. THREE TIMES IN ONE NIGHT. I'M PRETTY GIDDY. ARE YOU? **

**Please review and let me know what you thought! :D**


	27. Rising

**HEYYY GUYSSS. I'VE UPDATED SOON LIKE A PROMISED. Wait…did I even promise? WELL WHO CARES JUST READ :'D**

**000**

In the morning, Allen awoke to a strange vibrating sensation, his eyes shot open and he suddenly remembered the phone Lavi had given him. It was 7 in the morning and the sun was in the middle of rising over the horizon.

**Do you have time for coffee? My treat :)**

Allen smiled and took a while to figure out the mechanics of his phone before he replied with,

**Sure. Where at?**

After a few agonizingly long minutes, Lavi replied.

**Just meet me outside the hotel. I'll pick you up in a couple minutes alright? :)**

To which Allen fumbled to reply,

**Alright, thanks :)**

Allen quickly put Lavi's black coat aside, careful not to ruin it. He packed up Lavi's scarf and the snow white teddy bear into his suitcase and pulled out another outfit. He was too lazy to change from his gray skinny jeans, so decided to just change his shirt, bring a jacket, and wear a different pair of shoes. Afterwards, he picked up Lavi's coat and his new cell phone and ran for the lobby doors after he concealed his belongings.

He pocketed the cell phone and held the coat in his arms and waited for a few minutes before a sleek black car pulled up. Allen saw a flash of red hair, a smile, and a wave before he approached the car and got in.

"I see you got a hang of your new phone?" Lavi grinned.

"Somewhat." Allen replied with a small smile.

"Good! Ah let's see here, oh, coffee." Lavi reminded himself as he drove off.

"Oh, here's your coat, so sorry I took it last night, I guess I forgot to give it back."

"You can have it if you like it; it looks rather cute on you." Lavi smiled at the road.

Allen stared incredulously at the redhead.

"I-It's okay, it IS yours after all…"

"Yeah, but now I'm giving it to you. I want you to have it." Lavi smiled wider.

Allen was speechless and just held the warm coat in his arms.

"…Thank you." He mumbled, feeling bad for taking so many things from Lavi.

"Don't mention it." Lavi turned around to look through the rear window of the car before he parallel parked.

"Alright we're here, let's go." He declared as the two stepped out of the car.

The two met on the sidewalk and Allen felt his cheeks grow uncomfortably warm when he felt Lavi's arms wrap around his compact shoulders.

"So how was last night? Did you get a good night's sleep?"

For a minute, Allen panicked and thought Lavi was referring to his "clients". But quickly realized it was only a simple question and conversation starter.

"Good, got lots of rest. And y-you?" Allen bit his lip in penance for stuttering like an idiot. Again.

"Same, never slept better." He yawned.

Allen chuckled.

"Seems to me you didn't get TOO much sleep." He jeered jokingly.

"Haha yeahhh actually, I slept maybe…an hour or two last night?"

Allen gasped, "Why would you stay awake so long?" he scolded worriedly as they walked to a table by the window and sat on opposite sides of it.

"Thinking about you." Lavi admitted with a small smile which grew wider when he noticed the red tomato sitting across from him.

"Did you think about me?" He purred playfully leaning in toward the white haired tomato.

"Lavi, there are people here." Allen warned in a harsh whisper as he leaned in closer so he wouldn't be whispering too loud either.

People were already giving them a few wayward glances, and girls were giggling at them. This only distressed Allen further.

"Let them watch." Lavi whispered, placing a hand behind Allen's head and pressing a small kiss on his lips.

The small kiss quickly grew passionate thanks to Lavi's persistence. Allen felt like he was on fire as Lavi seemingly devoured his lips, feeling the redhead's tongue enticingly brush up against his own made his spine tingle and fingers curl. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Lavi decided to let Allen go.

They both heard the faint giggling and squealing of girls nearby and the hairs on the back of Allen's neck stood on end as a new rush of blood colored his cheeks.

"Lavi, s-stop being so rash. W-What was that for?" Allen reprimanded; his voice full of exasperation.

Lavi chuckled at Allen's cheeks and his cute stuttering.

Allen felt so embarrassed—Lavi probably thought he had some sort of speech impediment now.

A waitress whose own face was slightly pinked (she must've seen them) approached and asked for their orders.

Allen wanted the world to swallow him whole, he felt so jittery, and he was sitting in a coffee shop being kissed by…by…he didn't even know if Lavi was considered his boyfriend in broad daylight. At least when he "worked", it was at night and away from the watchful eyes of the rest of the public.

Lavi flashed a smile at the waitress.

"I'll have the hazelnut latte and a slice of carrot cake please."

"Alright…and you sir?" she looked up at Allen from her notepad and had a glint of a dreamy gaze.

_He is soooo cute, this redhead is so lucky._

"Um…I'll have the…vanilla cappuccino and the raspberry cheesecake, thank you." He smiled (adorably).

"Very nice choices. I'll be right back with your orders." She smiled, took the small menus, and walked away.

Allen let out a sigh of relief but stiffened again at some more stifled giggles from another table. Lavi didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

"Lavi…what must those girls think?" Allen groaned as he covered his face with his hands.

"That we're just two people that love each other very much?" Lavi concluded with a crooked smile.

"Yeah but…I just, it's not considered normal you know? You don't walk around every day and see two boys kissing." Allen whispered.

"I don't mind it, but I guess if you don't like kissing—."

"Oh no, no I love kissing y—." Allen slapped a hand over his mouth before he could finish and felt that feeling of dread and wanting to shrivel up and die.

Oh god, _Oh god_ he was _so_ pathetic.

Lavi beamed at Allen's little slip up and continued to gaze on with fervent amusement.

"What I meant was…maybe tone it down in public?" Allen mumbled under his breath in case someone else would hear.

Lavi laughed wholeheartedly, he'd admit it—he did that for both his own satisfaction as well as to embarrass and fluster Allen. Who wouldn't? He was so damn adorable.

Their orders arrived shortly after the tiny conversation and the two began to pick at their desserts and sip their coffee, Allen sighing happily after taking a long sip of his steaming cup of cappuccino. This consequently only amplified Lavi's urge to pin the boy to the floor and ravish him for all he had.

The two spoke kindly to each other, Allen laughing and smiling at everything Lavi had to say before Lavi glanced at his cell phone and noticed the time.

"Wow time flies when you're having a good time." He grinned,

"I'm sorry; I have to head to work soon. Did you want me to drop you back off or..?"

Allen immediately understood and nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, could you take me back? That'd be nice. Oh, unless you're going to be late, then I can walk." Allen asked concernedly.

"Oh no it's fine, I insist." Lavi replied as he began to stand.

"Oh, why thank you then." Allen smiled as he stood as well.

The two walked out of the coffee shop, Lavi quickly swiping a credit card as they did. The ride was short and comfortably silent. It wasn't awkward in any way, the two were engrossed in their own thoughts and feelings that they didn't need to communicate verbally at the time. At last they arrived back at the hotel. The two stayed in the car for a while to say their goodbyes.

"Thanks for coffee and the coat."

"It was nothing, I enjoy your company." Lavi replied.

"Well…I'll see you later?"

"Of course. Say Allen," Lavi began smugly as he leaned in closer to the white-haired boy.

"Since we're technically in a car, by which I mean away from the view of others, won't you spare me a little kiss to go?" he murmured deviously.

Allen huffed, feigning annoyance, Lavi was always so persistent…but he had to admit—it was attractive.

"Maybe, it depends what you consider a kiss…" Allen responded coyly, pretending as if he were the most innocent child in the world as he "accidentally" leaned closer to the redhead.

"Aw come on Allen, don't be such a tease." Lavi pleaded with a smirk on his face.

Allen wrinkled his nose and he grinned back and stuck out his tongue playfully.

"Alright then…just a little one right?"

Lavi nodded.

Allen opened the door on his side, grabbing all his belongings, and placed a small peck on Lavi's cheek before he slipped out of the car and shut the door with a self-satisfied smile on his face as he waved him off.

Lavi pouted like a small child before it melted into a grin. He waved and drove off as Allen was left chortling to himself. He received a text that read,

**You'll pay for that trick next time ;)**

To which Allen smiled (having to suppress a laugh) before he took a few moments to just stretch out and watch the sun peak in the sky. He walked back behind the dumpster and carefully folded Lavi's coat and placed it in his suitcase.

He looked around, watching to see if anyone would be watching before he slipped behind a ledge in the alleyway wall and quickly changed into a pair of teasingly sexy red and black plaid shorts, a ruffled white t-shirt, a pair of sweet black Mary Jane flats, and a small, red and devilish looking French beret he'd once gotten on sale a while ago.

He'd start off by walking by the park, searching for men that were on lunch breaks or whatnot or just walking around. He'd stop by the mall again to just walk around and enjoy himself—maybe try on a few clothes, and buy a small snack (he'd take a little bit of money with him in case he got hungry). He'd then walk by the main city, where all the hustle and bustle are to meet potential clients, get their numbers, and invite them to a club at night. After which he'll head on to the local clubs, and hunt for new and old clients.

Ones that have fallen into his trap and ones that would soon be taking the bait.

**000**

**Hahahaha Allen~ You are SUCH A LITTLE PLAYER/CHAMELEON YOUUUU. **

**Please review and give me your thoughts! Maybe some concerns that I'm going too fast or too slow or just some ideas/scenarios you have bubbling in your head. I read all my reviews and who knows? I might even take your idea and put it in this fanfic! :D**


	28. Regret

**BBS here with a semi-mature chappie! This one's a bit angsty and sad, but I wanted to stay true to just how guilty one would feel when they betrayed someone they're close to. I'm sure you guys have or will experience this at least once in your lives. Not to sound pessimistic or anything. LOL**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME ASPECTS OF ALLEN'S "JOB".**

**000**

For once in his life, Allen felt overwhelmingly disgusted with his occupation. He never really thought about giving himself to everyone so freely until Lavi blew his mind. It used to be just a hobby…something Allen did and got paid for, like cleaning houses. It was basically the same thing to Allen at the time, but ever since he promised his heart (or actually—it ATTACHED itself without consent) to Lavi.

A man he barely met in the busy streets earlier that afternoon now nipped and sucked at his neck in the moonlight of the man's dingy apartment.

Allen's fingernails dug into the man's shoulders, both trying to pull him closer and trying to push him away. His neck and mouth felt violated as the man's tongue ran across them. He shivered and faked a moan so he wouldn't be asked why he was acting so peculiarly.

He gasped in shock when the man grabbed at his crotch through the cloth of his shorts. It was only half erect, while as he always used to find one way or another to get aroused. But tonight, Allen just couldn't. He was too busy worrying about his relationship with Lavi.

His shorts and everything under were pulled harshly from his hips and discarded alongside his shirt, hat, and Mary Jane shoes.

Everything was a blur, a kiss here a nip there, it all blended in together. Allen just lay there, motionless other than clutching the man's shoulders and letting out a distant moan or whine every now and then. He was repeatedly driven into the headboard, the only groaning and truly pleasured sounds emitting from the man on top of Allen. Allen had to bite his tongue or else he would've sighed loudly. At least this man was decent enough to wear a condom.

It all ended after what seemed like three hours of nothingness.

"Alex, oh Alex…"

"It's—hah—Allen."

Allen shuddered into his anti-climactic orgasm, it was not nearly as strong and intense as the one he had shared with Lavi…but it was all he needed to do to finish his job.

After a few quiet moments of soft panting and ragged breaths, Allen sat up, gave the man a small (and hesitant) kiss and asked him politely if he could use his shower.

Ever since Allen had been kicked out of the hotel he had stayed at, he was forced to shower at either the houses of clients, or he had to beg a maid who worked in the hotel—Miranda. She was an awfully nervous and jittery woman that worked all days except Sundays.

He first got by with begging her, and pleading until she almost had a nervous breakdown, but it had gotten to the point of mutual friendship where she would let Allen take a quick shower, freshen up, brush his teeth, take a warm bath, and things of the sort when she happened to be cleaning a room when he dropped by.

The man (whose name Allen still didn't know), smiled drunkenly and nodded before Allen's head was grabbed and forced down for another sloppy kiss.

Allen suppressed a cringe and sauntered into his bathroom down the hall. He needed to scrub all this…this _filth_ off before he returned "home".

**000**

Allen smiled coyly when he received his pay and left a small peck on the man's cheek before he left.

As soon as he was out of eyesight range, Allen sighed heavily, covering his face with his hands. For once he felt completely ashamed about what he was doing. He felt disloyal to Lavi…like he was _cheating_ o n him. He had confessed his love, and the redhead had confessed his…and Allen was just going to throw it all away on his job for the sake of money.

But he _needed_ this money Allen reminded himself. He had priorities, and living/surviving just happened to be one of them. But his heart felt torn, the feeling was absolutely terrible. He missed Lavi, his heart ached for him, his soul begged for him, and his lips had parted to silently mouth his name to himself in the middle of being with another client.

His head was jumbled up and no matter how raw he had scrubbed his skin in that shower, Allen couldn't wash away the overwhelming feeling of remorse and regret. He had bite marks on his collarbone and he felt sick whenever scenes of what had just occurred replayed in his head.

The money felt worthless in his hands, it wasn't even all that much…but it was something. He had to scrape together as much as he could and get back into that hotel so he wouldn't risk being caught by anyone—most importantly, not get caught by Lavi. Lavi probably had a bunch of his own problems he had to worry about; Allen didn't look forward to making the list.

He felt drained, he felt empty, he felt hollow inside. His back hurt and he still had to walk a bit further to reach his makeshift home. The night wind was anything but forgiving. Allen coughed; his throat began to feel a bit raw as well. He'd have to hurry; he had a few water bottles stored away in his suitcase.

Allen's cell phone vibrated in his shorts' pocket. He knew that there could only be one person calling him. He stared as **LAVI :P **glowed on the screen. He bit his lip; he really didn't want to talk to the redhead right now. It would've been like talking to someone he just betrayed. He slipped the phone back in his pocket when a few minutes later it vibrated again, this time with a text message.

**Are you okay?**

Allen felt like crying. No he was not okay. He felt so dirty, so disgusting. He just slept with someone right after he confessed his love to Lavi. It was horrible how fickle he was, but it was his job. He did it for the money. Yet even this argument failed to make Allen feel any better about any of this.

Allen turned off his phone and continued heading toward what he called home. When he arrived, he immediately scanned for people and changed his shorts (because they were slightly stained). Perhaps Miranda wouldn't mind cleaning them. He settled for a plain pair of navy blue jeans, they were slightly bigger now since he wasn't eating as much as he was supposed to nowadays.

He sat back down on his suitcase, only to stand up a few minutes later and look for Lavi's coat. He found it and put it on to aid against the harshness of the night. He also spotted a white tuft of fur—Lavi's bear. Allen quickly shut the suitcase and zipped it up tight his eyes threatening to water. He didn't want to think about Lavi too much, yet traces of the redhead were left _everywhere_.

Allen sat cuddled up in Lavi's coat and watched his breath on the cold night breeze. He considered texting Lavi back, or calling him to talk…he already gave up on not thinking about him because he knew it was impossible at this point.

Finally after much awaited deliberation, Allen turned his phone back on. He was greeted with 12 new text messages.

**I don't know why, but I have a feeling you're not in the best mood and I understand if you don't want to talk. I am also very VERY bored. So to cheer you up, I'm making a list about the top 10 things I love about you. :)**

**NUMBER ONE: Allen is very charming and super cute when he smiles and blushes.**

**NUMBER TWO: Allen stutters when he is nervous, but still tries to talk to me. (This is also cute.) ;D**

**NUMBER THREE: Allen has the softest, most lovely lips on the face of the planet. Also very kissable.**

**NUMBER FOUR: Allen is determined, yet polite. :D**

**NUMBER FIVE: Allen is friendly, and thoroughly educated. His vocabulary stuns me sometimes…**

**NUMBER SIX: Allen has dreams and aspirations, though he doesn't make them viewable to the public.**

**NUMBER SEVEN: Allen's eyes are beautiful and sparkle even at night. **

**NUMBER EIGHT: Allen's skin is lily white and so soft; he also blushes all the way down to his neck.**

**NUMBER NINE: Allen's hair is also very pretty and soft to the touch.**

**NUMBER TEN: Above all, Allen's personality is much more beautiful than any of his outer features, and that's saying an awful lot.**

**You can call me or text me any time you want. You know I'll listen, right? Well anyways, hope that helped a little bit…Good night Allen.**

Allen heart melted and broke at the same time. And this time—he really did burst into tears.

**000**

**DDD: *FEELS BAD FOR TORTURING ALLEN* But still, he had to experience the remorse at SOME point. **

**Right?**

**And isn't Lavi the sweetest? I wish someone would do that for me…; u ;**

**PLEASE REVIEW, IT'LL BE LIKE YOUR TEXT MESSAGE TO ME :')**


	29. Agony

**Happy to see me? ;D**

**HEY GUYS. BBS BACK TO WORK. *SALUTES* Anyways, I'd blab on about how my two weeks were absolute TORTURE but I know you guys are in a rush to read, so I'll blab at the end alright? :D **

**GO! GO! GO!**

**000**

The next day, Allen woke up with dried tears streaked down his cheeks, he had gone against texting or calling Lavi back. Guilt weighed too heavily down on his shoulders for him to even hear his voice. He honestly didn't deserve a person like Lavi. What the hell did he ever do to deserve this? He was a deplorable and lowly prostitute that sold himself regularly on the streets.

Lavi was an accomplished photographer that owned his own place and had travelled the world. His contagious smiles and grins were enough to light up Allen's entire day and his ability to understand Allen so easily made him consider whether or not it was written all over his face.

Allen wanted to scream and throw himself to the ground. He loved Lavi with all his heart and he was holding him back. Allen was way below Lavi's level, and he _knew_ that. He fucking _knew_ it and he still let himself fall deeper in love with the redhead.

He really _was_ heartless.

Allen smiled bitterly.

So, this is what it all came down to.

He needed to give Lavi up. There were countless other people out there that would make Lavi so much happier than Allen ever could. All he had done was cause Lavi to spend money on him and worry about him.

That wasn't a life he would wish on anyone.

He would leave Lavi so the redhead could finally get into his head that he could do so much better. He would be heartbroken, but it would probably be a shallow wound.

Nothing a new boyfriend couldn't fix.

He would find a better boyfriend that smiled like he meant it, didn't have sex nightly for money, and didn't sleep in an alleyway with nothing but a suitcase of belongings.

But Allen _loved_ him…and he didn't want to let him go.

But he had to. If he truly loved Lavi, he'd let the redhead have a better chance at happiness.

Allen's heart ached, he had never been this happy in his life—never. But it was so utterly selfish of him to keep Lavi to himself because he felt "happy".

Allen didn't need happiness to live, he didn't need that. He had gone 16 years without it, what was the rest of his life? It wouldn't be that big of a deal.

And finally, after the sun had long come up from behind the dark horizon, Allen decided to text Lavi back.

**I hate you.**

000

The redhead stared incredulously at his cell phone. Was he seeing this correctly? So many emotions flashed through his head: Confusion, anger, frustration and even more confusion.

Had he done something wrong? Was something the matter with him?

What had Lavi done? He just couldn't wrap his head around it. The past few days had been the best in his entire life. He had never been happier—never.

**What?**

Allen flipped open his phone, closed his eyes and bit his lip in protest of the fresh tears cascading down his face. Every word he typed pierced his heart like sharpened daggers. It hurt him to hurt Lavi like this…

But it would all be better in the end.

This was for the better…This was for the better, Allen kept reminding himself.

This will only be a sting to Lavi's heart, and soon enough he will move on.

Allen wouldn't have minded watching Lavi from afar. He knew that he himself would never fully recover from this, but it was all for Lavi.

He would tell other men about Lavi and ask them to meet up with him. And then he'd watch from far away, watching Lavi through the window of a café, or silently hiding behind another person to watch the redhead walk by, and perhaps even catch his scent if he was lucky every once in a while.

He didn't mind…as long as it made Lavi happy.

This was all for the better.

**What part of "I hate you" do you not understand? I don't want to be with you Lavi. I just needed some fun and you happened to be the closest person with money. Did you honestly think I wanted to go out with you forever? Grow up.**

This was all for the better.

This was all for the better.

A choked gasp erupted from Allen's lips. His heart felt like it was wrenching inside his chest, he opened his mouth in a silent sob and clutched at his chest. It felt hollow. It was gone, it was all over now. He needed to make it _impossible_ for Lavi to forgive him.

Impossible.

**I don't even know why the hell I even keep this phone, but thanks—I really needed one. I guess that saved me a lot. I could keep track of my clients' numbers more easily with it.**

Impossible.

**Also, my client says hi. :)**

Impossible.

**Don't even bother trying to talk me out of this. I am so over you.**

This was all for the better…

Allen's body crumpled into a tiny ball on his suitcase. He grabbed at his snow white hair and cried into his knees.

"No, no, no, no…" Allen cried, hitting his chest where his heart had once been.

000

Whatever pieces of his heart Lavi had left, they were immediately obliterated. Every word, every sentence, every taunt was driving him insane.

He called his office.

"But Lavi, Vivian's photo shoot for Milan starts today, you have to come or—."

"I SAID I DON'T FUCKING CARE." Lavi immediately regretted that.

A sigh.

"Look….Nana, I can't come to work today. I'm just not….I just can't alright? I can come tomorrow but just not today okay? Just not today…"

000

After a while, Allen's throat was too sore to emit any more noises. His voice was lost, his eyes were bloodshot, and his heart was torn and scattered.

He felt numb once more. It was like he and Lavi had never met.

He nestled his head further into his thighs, not noticing when a shadow overcastted his broken body.

"Tsk tsk tsk, what _is_ the matter my dear playmate?"

The boy nearly jumped at the sudden burst of sound, and slowly raised his head to look at the person.

Even before he looked up, from the way his spine tingled and the way he visibly shuddered, Allen knew who that velvety voice belonged to.

Tyki smirked upon seeing Allen's tears, leaning over the wall where the boy was now cornered.

"Tell me, what _has_ happened to leave you out in such…an unsavory place such as this?"

Allen glared at the man, shooting darts at him and hoping that the man got the hint that he wasn't exactly in the mood right now.

Tyki chuckled darkly and grabbed Allen's chin, turning his head to the right, then the left.

"Such a beautiful face, one must not scrunch it up and glare. It only makes you look all the cuter my dear."

Allen slapped Tyki's hand away from his chin.

"Ooh, such a feisty little kitten we have here." The man breathed amusedly as he ran his lips against Allen's angrily trembling ones.

"Go fuck yourself." He whispered hoarsely, furiously.

Tyki chuckled again, throwing his head back in mock entertainment before he forced Allen to his feet and pressed his body against the boy's—his own arousal so evident.

"Don't you think it would be so much more fun to fuck someone _else_, my dear?" He whispered with a smirk.

**000**

**CLIIIFFFHHHAAANNNGGERRRRR**

***SHOT***

**Hahaha sorry for the cliffy guys, after two weeks of torture I decided to…you know…TORTURE YOU MORE. Well as for my 2 week adventure…IT WAS TERRIBLE GUYS. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. Sitting there, WORKING. Oh gosh, it was horrible. Then after I finished a MAJORITY of my work…**

**I burnt half my right hand.**

**Chyeah. It SUCKED. It blistered and everything, it's fine now—it's all healed. But apparently, the scars will always be there. OTL But, ah, I guess I'll live; the scars aren't that bad either.**

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LONGER, I PROMISE. **

**And as for many of your expectations, yeah yeah, you guys were right; I'm not COMPLETELY done with my work. But I'm glad I took the hiatus because I only have that one timeline and worksheet left. And I still have a month to do it. **

**Thanks for being patient, and I'll just up now because this A/N is going to be longer than the actual chapter. xDD**

**PLEASE REVIEW…I MISSED YOU GUYS.**


	30. Violation

**BBS here! AUUUGH. I'M SO SLOW NOW WITH UPDATING HUH? GOD I SUCK. Well I suppose you guys deserve an explanation. And that would be ****1) I am being a lazy ass **** and ****B) I still haven't finished ALL of my summer homework.**

**You know what? You guys are all anxious so I'll blab at the end.**

**000 **

Allen glared once, but Tyki took no mind as he leaned in for another kiss.

His slimy tongue pried through Allen's non-consenting lips, forcing its way in and wasting no time in violating every last millimeter of Allen's mouth. Allen tried to strike the older man, but ultimately failed from his lack of strength.

Crying took more out of him than he thought.

A few moments later, there was angry cursing and a sharp slap to Allen's face.

"You're a bitch you know that slut?" Tyki growled ominously as he wiped blood from his lips.

Allen smirked mirthlessly and spat the rest of Tyki's blood in his face.

He'd come to regret that soon enough.

Allen was slapped harshly, the force enough to swerve his head to the side. He was punched on his other cheek, causing his head to be thrust the other direction.

He felt his own blood flood in his mouth and mix with Tyki's.

He continued to glare at Tyki. He opened his mouth to say something nasty, but all that came out was a gush of blood.

He could feel bruises already forming on his cheek.

Tyki smirked sadistically, his eyes glinting with contempt and want. His hand was once more placed on Allen's purpling cheek.

"Such an exquisitely broken doll we have here."

Something about this made Allen boil over with fury and rage.

He tackled Tyki and slammed their heads together. Both of them groaned, but Allen felt himself smile in satisfaction.

He punched and smacked at Tyki's face, sitting on his abdomen and gripping his neck.

"I," Allen was interrupted by a cough, which left blood splatters on Tyki's face, "am not in the mood right now. I am not your playmate, I am not your," another cough, "kitten. I am a person. I don't deserve this."

Allen gagged on his own blood before getting the rest of his thoughts out.

"You monsters don't deserve to live." Allen hissed. His voice was still raw and breaking from his tears.

All too quickly, in the middle of finishing his sentence, Tyki grabbed Allen's throat and flipped their positions.

"You are _**nothing**_. You hear me? You are _**worthless**_. Selling yourself on the street like the _whore_ you are. People like _you_ don't deserve to live; you are all scum of the earth. You think you're so high and mighty, thinking you should be treated like a human. You're not _**human**_, boy. You're a filthy _animal_ that craves sex and money. That is all you are. Don't forget that."

Allen's expression was one of shock. What if everything Tyki said was true?

Tyki reached for Allen's pants, hooking his fingers in them and his underwear and forcing them down. Allen reached for Tyki's hand in protest, but was met with another brisk slap to the face. Allen coughed violently and whimpered involuntarily.

Tyki paused before continuing. He grabbed Lavi's scarf from Allen's now open bag and gagged the boy with it. Allen glowered at the man, it should've been impossible to feel this much hate toward another person.

Tyki wrapped it multiple times around Allen's mouth in case he was going to be a screamer.

Soon after, he undid his own pants, revealing his arousal which was much bigger than Allen had remembered.

_You sadist. I hope you rot in the darkest depths of he—_

A ragged scream of utter pain ripped from Allen's throat as he was penetrated without any preparation. But it was muffled heavily by the scarf of his first and last love. He convulsed in agony and his fingernails dug into the cold and unforgiving concrete. His vision was fading in and out of coherency. But he refused to cry this time.

He cried for noble and wonderful people like Lavi. Not for filthy excuses for humans like this.

He could feel the blood sliding down his thighs as Tyki laughed under his breath.

"You're a bitch. That's all you are. A filthy bitch."

Tyki withdrew before thrusting in again, eliciting another shriek from Allen, he could feel himself being torn apart in every way possible.

"You are worthless."

He withdrew and thrust in once more, the blood hardly acting as a formidable lubricant.

"You are nothing."

Allen's throat felt like it automatically shut off from so much stress. Allen groaned faintly before his eyes closed.

"You are an animal. Worse than an animal." Tyki continued between pleasured groans.

Allen gritted his teeth against Lavi's scarf, trying to stay conscious so he could report Tyki after this was over.

Finally, after what seemed like a torturous eternity, Allen shuddered as something warm was released deep inside of him.

Tyki stood back up and zipped up his pants before smiling down at the strikingly broken prostitute.

Allen was barely hanging on a thread, slipping between consciousness and darkness.

"Nice play date today, my dear. A penny for your thoughts." Tyki flipped a dingy and rusted penny at Allen.

It hit his bruised cheek and fell to the floor next to his head.

Tyki grinned before shoving his hands in his pockets, and walking away from the alleyway as if nothing had happened.

Allen's vision faded to black.

**000**

When he awoke, it was dark. He moved to sit up and hissed when a searing pain shot down his spine and lower back. Everything ached.

Biggest understatement of his life.

He felt broken beyond belief, his mouth was still gagged and he had to breathe shallowly through his nose. He shrieked into it when he attempted to stand and groaned in agony when he finally did stand and adjust his clothes. He was tired and hurt. At least for once, what he was feeling on the inside matched the outside.

The scarf that once smelled so pine fresh and rugged from Lavi's irresistible scent now reeked of grimy sex and rusty blood. His arms were bruised from being forced down against the crumbly alley and too tired to even reach behind his head and undo the scarf. Allen let himself fall like a ragdoll onto his suitcase, his legs hung off one side, and his head was slumped back against the other end of the suitcase.

His breathing was labored from not being able to breathe deeply. His pants were pulled back up onto his hips, but they were still unzipped and unbuttoned. His shirt was slightly torn and disheveled—not to mention covered in blood from both Tyki and him.

He wasn't quite sure, but he thought he felt blood seep down his raw throat. All he could taste was the coppery filth of blood. He hated to think that some of it was Tyki's.

**000**

Lavi's car turned a corner as it approached a tall building a few blocks away. He parked a few meters away from the hotel Allen was at and took out his phone.

He stared hurtfully at all the messages he had received. He had to talk to Allen in person. He had to know for sure if this was what he really wanted.

If Allen had found someone else, Lavi didn't know what he'd do. If that person made him happier than he could…perhaps he could let him go…

But in any case, he needed to see the boy and he needed to see the boy _now_.

He dialed Allen's number to check if he was busy or if he really wanted to talk.

Each ring it took for Allen to pick up was like a needle being inserted into his heart.

**000**

A rattle was heard by Allen's hand, it took him a second to realize it was his phone. He stared at it before he opened it and shakily held it to his ear. He knew he couldn't talk from behind the scarf…

But he needed to hear Lavi's voice.

He needed to.

"..Hello? Allen?" came a worried and hushed voice, slightly muffled with static, but still heartbreakingly recognizable.

Allen whimpered softly, trying not to cry.

"Allen?"

A tear swept down his face.

"Allen, are you there?"

More tears slowly fell from Allen's cheeks, his eyes wide open yet lifeless and devoid of any emotion other than sorrow.

A sigh.

"Look. I got all your messages. I just want to talk about it."

Allen bit the scarf, stifling a sob.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I promise just this once. After, I promise you never have to see me again."

Allen's hand trembled around the phone, slowly lowering it from his ear and closing it.

His teary eyes slowly slid shut, letting a few more tears that were on the verge of falling—cascade down his bruised and bloodied cheeks.

**000**

There was a click and a dial tone as Lavi stared out the window. He saw a light from behind a dumpster.

It was small…like a cell phone screen's light.

But even if it was…what was he doing in an alleyway? Was he with someone?

Lavi sat frozen in the driver's seat and leaned his forehead against the steering wheel. He needed time to breathe and sort things out before he could even investigate.

Finally, after a few moments of disputes in his mind, Lavi got out of his car, locked the doors, and shut it.

It was around 8 in the evening and the wind was chilly and cruel.

He lurked around the edge of the dumpster, cautiously keeping behind it in case it wasn't Allen, but some drug dealer or insane asylum case on the loose.

He caught sight of red hair and was about to turn away when he realized it was red, pink,

And white.

**000**

**TYKI, WHY SO OOC? *SHOT***

**Sorry about the whole Allen-being-raped thing. Though I personally found it…amusing? *SHOTMORE* Ahaha I know that you guys wanted Lavi to swoop in and save the day but honestly, life doesn't work that way. Either Superman comes too late, doesn't come, or he doesn't exist at all. **

**So no "I HATE YOU. WHAT DIDN'T LAVI COME EARLIER. *SHOOTS YOU*" comments. Please.**

**And for those of you who didn't get why Allen's hair is partially pink—it's because his white hair was mixed with his blood. His own blood dyed his hair. WOO.**

**PLEASE REVIEW. CHEERS.**


	31. Inevitable

**BBS here again! Sorry it took so long to update. D: I was being a lazy ass. Again. *SHOT***

**000**

Allen heard footsteps but was too exhausted and drained to do anything. If it was a crazy murderer, let it be.

There was nothing left to live for anyway.

**000**

Lavi stared incredulously at the figure before him. He had walked away from the dumpster and it revealed a chilling scene.

Allen was gored and looked about ready to die.

His hair that was once so snowy white was dyed red and pink by blood that had stained it.

His pants could be seen soaked in blood at the seat and he was gagged with his own scarf.

Lavi overlooked the image in shock, not believing what he was seeing.

After a moment, the redhead finally rushed over to Allen, whose eyes were glazed over and their spark, dull.

"A-Allen?" Lavi knelt next to the broken boy.

Allen gazed weakly at the redhead, barely keeping him in focus.

Lavi's visible green eye was wide with worry as he lifted Allen's shoulders, trying to get the scarf loose from behind Allen's head and mouth.

Allen began to cry softly.

_You aren't supposed to be here._

Lavi eventually undid the knot and just watched intently and horrified of what he was seeing. He brought Allen close to his chest and held him close.

He looked around, catching sight of the suitcase and immediately knew what had been going on. He bit his lip and cursed himself for not knowing beforehand.

"You're going to be alright Allen, okay? Just stay with me." Lavi whispered as he hoisted Allen up into his arms, moving the suitcase under the dumpster and leaving with the boy in his arms.

**000**

The drive was an unsettling déjà vu, this wouldn't be the first time Lavi drove Allen to the hospital.

Allen groaned in the backseat and all Lavi could do was reassure him that he would be alright, he would be okay, he would be cared for, they were on their way, they were almost there, anything that could possibly make Allen feel safer, more secure.

Lavi could ask questions later, but as of now, he had no time to waste.

**000**

The hospital was one unintelligible buzz as Lavi once more walked through those glass doors and onto the squeaky clean linoleum floor. He checked in as fast as he could, demanding Allen get a hospital room immediately.

The redhead was less reluctant to let the boy get onto a gurney, and be rolled away without him because he knew that this was not just malnutrition. This was something so horribly serious that he had no time to walk next to Allen's gurney, and no time to fight with the nurses.

For now, he had to wait until the doctors came out with a diagnosis of what could've happened to his young lover.

And his potential ex.

**000**

"Sexual assault."

That was all Lavi could hear, nonetheless process.

"Rape. Heavy lacerations. Internal bleeding. Full recovery unlikely."

Lavi felt his stomach drop at the words. Who would have done this to Allen? Who would ever want to hurt such a kind and innocent person? Allen's occupation may have preceded him, but he was certainly not a bad person because of it.

Why would they have done this? Why couldn't they just…he didn't know…do something else? Why would they have to take advantage of him this way? Why Allen?

"You may see him in a few minutes; the other doctors are still examining him."

"Thank you." Was all he redhead could say.

His heart was full of worry, dread, and regret. Just a few hours ago, he was about ready to go argue with the boy about their harsh breakup. At the same time he was feeling that way, Allen was probably experiencing the most traumatic time of his life.

Why would anyone do this? Why Allen?

Lavi's head spun with anxiety for his ex-lover. What would happen when Allen woke up? Would he be angry? Would he be one of those people that refused to speak? He paced the hallway back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

Lavi sighed and ran a hand through his unruly crimson hair. He had to get a hold of himself. He was overreacting. If anything, he had to become stronger so Allen could depend on him. It didn't matter whether they weren't together anymore. Lavi still loved Allen and for him, he would still do anything.

"You may see the patient now. He is currently under antibiotics and sedatives so his pain will be decreased as he comes back to consciousness." Informed a doctor who walked out of the room.

Lavi nodded and opened the door, walking inside the empty white room. It was silent except for the steady beeping of Allen's heart monitor. He must've definitely been unconscious because he didn't seem to realize that Lavi was in the room. Lavi approached, growing nearer to the boy who had captured and torn apart his heart. He pulled up a nearby chair and gazed at the sleeping boy.

His white lashes were like freshly fallen snow as they hid from him the most breathtaking grey eyes. He bit his lip angrily at the memory of Allen's eyes a few hours ago—dull, lifeless, and barely focused.

He took Allen's smaller hand in his. It was cold and slightly trembling. Lavi squeezed it lovingly, just to signal he was there, even though he knew Allen didn't know. He placed a small kiss on the back of the small and pale hand, tears threatening to form at his eyes.

Allen had done nothing to deserve this. No one deserved this. Why did it have to be Allen?

"Goddamn it, why didn't you tell me?" Lavi choked, a tear dropping from his visible eye. His jaw was clenched angrily.

There was no answer but the beeping of the heart monitor.

"You mean the _world_ to me, Allen. Didn't you trust me enough to tell me? You could've been with me. I would've taken you in…We could've avoided this…I never want to see you this way again…it didn't have to be like this…not like this."

Lavi stood from his chair and leaned over the hospital bed, moving some of Allen's hair away from his forehead. He gently ran his fingertips along the bruises on his neck and cheeks and placed an apologetic kiss on his lips.

The boy flinched and whimpered subconsciously, already filled with fright.

Lavi's teeth grinded against each other furiously. Allen looked so helpless. So lifeless. So scared. He hated seeing him like this. But for now, there was nothing he could do.

He stood and turned off the lights in the room, sleeping on the chair with his head resting on the bed and with his fingers intertwined with Allen's.

**000**

**DD: POOR…BOTH OF THEM. **

**REALLY IMPORTANT NOTE: If you're reading this, please go to my profile to vote for which idea I should use for my next fanfiction(s). Your vote could very well tip the scale!**

**ALSO: IT WOULD GIVE ME A HAPPYGASM IF YOU REVIEWED :D**


	32. Insufficient

**Hey guys! BBS here with another DEPRESSING CHAPTER. :D *SHOTSHOT* But hey, it had to be done. D: But don't worry, in honor of Lavi's birthday, I'll be uploading ANOTHER chapter in a few minutes :)**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAVI :DDDD**

**EDITTT: I'm SO sorry I forgot to mention that **_**italics **_**are either memories, or thoughts. Allen can't talk in this chapter. So everything "he says", is only in his mind. **

**000**

The light of morning slithered slowly through the generic hospital curtains. Allen's eyes were startled awake, his eyes were still lazy and unfocused—but he was still awake. His eyes sluggishly scanned the area, his body unmoving.

Where was he? Why was he here? It hurt, his body hurt. Everything hurt. Everything ached, everything hurt. It all hurt. Pain. Just painful. It hurt.

His eyes fell upon bright red hair and suddenly everything crashed down on him.

Sending those mean texts.

Crying.

Tyki Mikk.

Hurting.

Phone call.

_You aren't supposed to be here…_

"_You're going to be alright Allen…oh god what happened to you? Shhh you're alright, we're…we're almost there..."_

Allen's hand twitched nervously when he saw his fingers interlaced with Lavi's. He tried to inconspicuously pull his hand away when the redhead's eyes fluttered open, immediately focusing on Allen with a worried and fixated look on his face. His visible emerald eye had a dark circle under it, obviously waking from a fitful nightmare.

Allen's lips parted slowly to speak, but his throat felt like it had been hacked at with an axe. It hurt like hell to swallow and he felt so tired. And hurt. Everything hurt.

"Allen..?" Lavi asked softly, making sure to remain calm so he wouldn't frighten the boy.

He'd been through enough.

Allen's usually vivacious and determined gray eyes were glassy and confused. His head fell to the side to meet Lavi's gaze. It was the only way he could acknowledge his presence.

"Allen…I—." Lavi began as he sat up abruptly, wanting to know everything.

Allen's voice wasn't working, but the raspy whimper was all it took for Lavi to freeze and feel himself fill with the feeling of dread and remorse.

"Shhh..shh…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…shh." Lavi cooed gently, tucking Allen into his blanket.

_Why are you here? You shouldn't be here._

"Allen, I'm not going to hurt you. It's me—Lavi."

_I know who you are… I fell in love with you._

"You're here because you got seriously injured. They say you were sexually assaulted."

_Why should it matter to you? Leave. My heart hurts to see you._

"I don't care if you hate me now. I'm going to stay and help you feel better."

_Please…please don't. I might take back whatever I said for your own good._

The redhead let out a deep and drawled out sigh.

"I was really worried about you, Allen. I was so damn…scared. What if I didn't find you? What if you were all alone? What if…" _what if you died Allen?_

Lavi pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. He just felt so overwhelmingly despondent at the thought of a world without Allen. He didn't care if Allen hated him. As long as he _existed_, Lavi had _something_.

"Um, sir? The doctor would like a word with you." came a soft, feminine voice from the door.

Lavi nodded and stood carefully, smiling weakly at the broken boy.

"I'll be right back, okay Allen?"

**000**

"We were concerned about what we found wrong with Allen's body. We have found several ulcers in his stomach, multiple substantial bruises on his body, his larynx has been shut down from stress-induced failure, tears and heavy lacerations in the anus and rectal areas, and traces of…aphrodisiac."

Lavi mentally cringed. It was the life Allen had thrown himself into.

"Aphrodisiacs are best known for their ability to—."

"Yes, I know what aphrodisiacs are." Lavi's eyebrows knitted with worry and frustration.

"Normally, we don't see these things in a patient. Especially male patients. The results of his tests have run negative for any major diseases; including HIV and others sexually transmitted diseases."

It seemed like the doctor understood what Allen had to endure.

"But I must say that all the damage done to his body couldn't have been from just one encounter. I'd just warn you in the future. Be careful. Usually, patients that have experienced traumatic events tend to act…strange for the first few days, if not weeks and months. Some never get past it for the rest of their lives. So for the next few months, you'll have to make sure he refrains from sexual intercourse."

Lavi nodded solemnly. It seemed only logical.

"Be very calm around him and keep the atmosphere low pressure. He may be prone to panic and or anxiety attacks in the future. And never leave him alone for too long; this may increase his level of anxiety."

"I'm never leaving him alone again."

"Very good, sir. We will keep you updated with the status of Allen's health. He may have to stay for the next few days, unless major surgery is needed. I strongly recommend therapy, but that is a choice the patient or kin have to decide."

The redhead nodded. Whatever it took to make Allen better, he'd do it.

"Oh, and also, in the case that Allen has a panic or anxiety attack, be sure someone is there to comfort him. He needs to believe that what he is experiencing is not real. Here's a pamphlet with more information….well, best of luck to you."

"Thank you."

As heavy footfalls grew softer as the doctor walked away, Lavi carefully opened the door, stepping back in and closing it just as carefully. He quietly sat back down in his chair, smiling worriedly at the angel in the gurney.

"I really missed you Allen." He whispered softly.

_I missed you too…_

"I know that you wouldn't want this relationship to continue, but I suppose you can decide that when you're feeling better."

_I love you Lavi…_

"But for now, just bear with me okay? I'm going to stay until you recover a bit."

_I hope I never recover then._

"The doctor says that you probably won't make a full recovery from all the things that happened, but he said you can get pretty close to it. Some things they just can't fix yet."

Allen's eyes stayed glassy, as if he were barely awake. It broke Lavi's heart every time he looked into them. It was like staring at a mirror.

If only he knew that Allen's head was exploding with questions, answers, apologies, and demands. His body was just too weak to support him, nonetheless convey any emotion. He hoped Lavi didn't think he _hated_ him…though that was a likely case. And that would be for the better as well.

Lavi hated seeing Allen hooked up to the heart machine and IVs. He thought the last time would've been the end of it. His body was hooked up to machines that were everywhere—all working to keep him conscious and alive.

And to think…this was the lively boy that complained like a small child when he couldn't win the teddy bear at the amusement park. The one he had kissed, the one he had made love to, the one he would sacrifice everything for—barely alive in a cold and barren hospital room. The only sound echoing being the obnoxious beeps of the heart monitor to remind everyone that Allen was okay.

Lavi almost scoffed at "everyone". Lavi was the _only_ one here. Allen didn't have family, Allen didn't have time for friends, and Allen didn't have time to be loved. And had Lavi not been here…had Lavi never even come into Allen's life, Allen would've been in this room all alone. Or even worse—lying dead in a dark alley way.

It was a bitter world they lived in.

Lavi wanted nothing more than to hold that thin, frail body to his chest—feel his heartbeat with his own, not reading it on a machine. He wanted to bury his face into that snow white hair, press his lips to those dry pink ones, and comfortingly stroke the small of that delicate back…but he couldn't, and that was the worst of all.

He wouldn't allow himself to touch him just yet. Not unless it was completely necessary.

He still vividly remembered the look of terror Allen wore on his face and worse, the pitifully quiet whimper that came from his throat like a scared puppy as he sat up in his chair.

"I'm so sorry Allen…I'm so sorry." Lavi murmured.

If only he'd been there…if only he'd _known_.

He felt ready to punch something, anything. He was angry as hell at himself for not being able to see…from blindly letting Allen continue a job Lavi _knew_ was cruel. Hell, he'd been on the other side of that door when Allen walked in to "do what he did best". But no, it didn't matter as long as Allen was by his side, right? How selfish and ignorant he'd been.

He'd seen the scratches on his neck, he'd seen the scars that marred his body, and he had _seen_ the bruises on his knees and the finger marks on his hips.

Yet he did **nothing**.

He was so stupid, he was…he was horrible. Why didn't he see? This could've all been avoided…

"It's all my fault Allen. It's all my fault." Lavi apologized, his voice a little louder.

_No Lavi…please don't…it's not your fault. Stop that right now._

"I could've stopped all this…"

_No…that bastard Tyki Mikk could've. _

"I still love you so much." Lavi choked, trying his best not to let his resolve down and just cry. But he couldn't—that might scare Allen. He was all Allen had; he should at least stay strong for him.

The redhead took a few deep breaths, now beating himself up for making this all about him.

"I still love you Allen. Nothing you can say could ever change that…"

Lavi's eyes grew wider when he saw a change in Allen's mirror-like eyes.

A few tears were falling down his cheeks. He was trembling.

_Don't do this to me Lavi…you're making me love you again. You're doing it again…_

Was he having a panic attack? The heart machine still seemed stable. So perhaps not.

"Allen? Don't cry okay? He's gone now…" Lavi mumbled as he slowly put his hand on the edge of the gurney.

_I know, I know…I don't want __**you**__ to leave too._

"Go to sleep Allen, aren't you tired? Let's go to sleep." Lavi insisted quietly.

Allen had to admit, he _was_ pretty tired, even though he had just woken up about an hour ago.

The redhead stood and turned off the lights again, shutting the curtains of the window a bit tighter so the sun wouldn't seep through.

Another hoarse whine came from the gurney. Lavi turned around to see a spark of fear in Allen's eyes.

"Do you not want it dark?" Lavi suddenly understood.

"Alright, I'll open the curtains okay? I'll still be here…I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere." Lavi opened the curtains so a beam of light fell on Allen's chest.

Allen's eyes slowly slid closed as Lavi sat back down in his chair.

"I love you." Lavi whispered.

And suddenly, he regretted not saying that enough to begin with.

**000**

**Woo! Sorry for the depressing chapter D: I'll have another, slightly happier one uploaded shortly! I promise! Since it's Lavi-chan's birthday, I decided to reward you guys with 2 chapters in a day! :D**

**DON'T THANK ME, THANK LAVI. And you know how you can thank Lavi for the (not so) awesome gift?**

**YOU CAN REVIEW. :D**

***KICKED* **


	33. Reverie

**Hey guys! BBS here with the second chapter of the day! All in honor of one SMOKIN' redhead. And no, I wasn't talking about Cross. **_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAVI :DDD**_

**REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:**

**Okay, so I've never tried this before, so please bear with me. I listened to a particular song while writing this and the ambiance is perfect for this chapter! It would make it such an excellent experience! I would like it if you guys listened to it too while reading this. **

**The song is called ****"Goodnight and Go" by Imogen Heap****. You guys can look it up on YouTube, or any other video search engine, you can even go to iTunes! Just listen to it :) I absolutely love that song, and it fits Allen and Lavi's relationship SOOO well :'D**

**When you see: (****START SONG****), start it (not too loud to be a distraction) and read.**

**Likewise when you see (****STOP SONG****), stop/pause it.**

**And remember to take your time while reading, this song is pretty long and I want you to drink in EVERY WORD. I want you to REALLY use your imagination and **_**imagine**_**everything**** I describe. Kay? **

**Haha if it ends before you get to the (****STOP SONG****); don't worry about it, as long as you get past the first half :)**

**The rest is better read in silence.**

**000**

Allen's eyes flickered open a little when he heard those magical words. But just as quickly, they fell over his eyes like curtains closing after a matinee show. The lights dimmed around him and he succumbed to the necessity of sleep.

**000**

**(****START SONG****)**

"Lavi, s-stop that!" Allen scolded, as the redhead smirked and snuggled into his neck.

"We're in public again, Lavi! You remember how I feel about that..." He hissed quietly. People were starting to stare at them again.

"You're just so cute." Lavi mumbled smugly into his neck, which made Allen blush harder.

"Don't be ridiculous, we can do this later."

"Hmm you need to relax, Allen~" Lavi's arms wrapped around his waist and drew him closer.

They were sitting on a park bench. It was sunny—so sunny. It was perfect. The leaves of the trees were shimmering in the sun and the grass at their feet was thick and lush dark green, a few dandelions peeking out to see what the day was like. Flowers were flourishing in rich gardens of every possible color in the spectrum, the dew of morning making them sparkle in the late morning sun.

The sky was endlessly blue, not a cloud was in sight, stretching for eternity. Birds flew gracefully, their directions changing with the wind. Butterflies glided over the world with their glorious and colorful robes. White puffs of milkweed floated into the air, someone on the ground below making a hopeful wish as they did so.

Everything seemed bathed in a golden light. The birds were singing sweetly—serenading their loved ones as well as anyone who was willing to listen.

A few people were talking a stroll through the park, walking their dogs or whatnot. Kids were playing a mile or two away on a gaudy playground with swings and tires hanging from trees. Their shrieks of delight could be heard piecing the air, even from a distance.

The breeze was balmy, like a breath of warm air.

"People are staring!"Allen warned, playfully pushing the redhead away.

His goofy lover latched right back onto him.

"I said let them watch." Lavi chuckled.

Allen bit his lip before coming to a compromise.

"If I kiss you now, will you stop until we're alone?"

Lavi stopped his playful cuddling for a moment.

"Hmmm that's an enticing offer." He smiled lazily, his tongue sweeping over his lips.

Allen crinkled his nose, making a face before laughing.

**000**

Allen smiled weakly in his sleep.

**000**

"I think I'll take it." Lavi concluded seriously.

The two stared at each other for a second before they laughed again.

"Alright, promise?"

"Pinky promise." The redhead teased, holding out his pinky finger like a small child would.

Their fingers locked in a promise and just as quickly—so did their lips.

Allen smiled at his lover's impatience, pressing closer to him. The smile of the redhead could be felt in the stretch of his lips as well. The birds' songs seemed so much more melodic as they mutually embraced each other.

A tongue swiped against his lips, but Allen smiled wider, refusing to allow entrance. A hand suddenly pinched his thigh. Allen gasped in shock and Lavi took the opportunity to let his tongue flicker against his. Allen smirked before gently hitting Lavi's shoulder.

_Cheater._

Lavi smirked back, pressing closer and closer to his petite lover.

_You asked for it._

Their tongues mingled with the sweetest of embraces, waltzing on the rich sunlit stage. And for once, Allen didn't give a damn what other people thought. His pale hands tangled in bright scarlet hair, their tongues playing games and exchanging secrets that words could never describe.

He felt warm arms wrapping around him, gentle fingers stroking his feathery white hair.

**000**

The smile grew slightly on Allen's sickly pale face, his eyes rolling behind his closed eyelids, scanning dreamy green eyes.

**000**

They parted for air, Lavi diving right back in for another kiss.

Allen turned his head so his lips would meet his cheek.

"Hey, I thought we had a deal!" he laughed, his shoulder lifting up to his ear, Lavi's hair tickling his neck.

"Mmm overruled." Lavi grinned as he snuggled back into Allen's neck.

"Lavi, you dolt." Allen complained, though he secretly loved the resilience and affection he was receiving.

"You love it." The redhead murmured—a hint of self-triumph in his voice.

They both knew he was right.

"Oh shush." Allen reprimanded, hitting Lavi lightly once more—ending with the two laughing again.

"Come on, just another kiss. Just one, little, itty, bitty, kiss?" Lavi's voice was equally sly and cunning.

"Oh no, I already fell for _that_ one, mister." Allen retorted, sticking out his tongue as a tease.

"Come on~ I promise! Just once, alright? I swear. Scout's honor." Lavi held up two fingers in a Boy Scout salute.

Allen laughed. He could **so** imagine Lavi being those chipper and upbeat boy scouts.

"Are you gonna sell me some cookies now?" He teased, his lips stretching into a wide smile.

"Hey! Those are **girl** scouts."

"Exactly my point."

Allen laughed louder when Lavi pouted, leaning over to give him a light peck on the lips.

"Was that it?" Lavi's face fell.

"Well what were you expecting? Dinner and a show?" Allen sneered jokingly.

"Well now I do!" Lavi persisted with a whimsical grin, "Say, we should go then! I'll take you out on the town."

"Aw Lavi don't, I'm fine."

"I insist! Girl Scouts honor!" Lavi lifted a pinky finger.

The two paused before laughing again; Allen's head was spinning from the sheer delight he was feeling. His heart fluttered whenever he saw Lavi's grin.

"If you say so." Allen smiled.

**000**

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed into a breathtakingly beautiful night. He and Lavi were in Lavi's car, driving into the city for a romantic dinner and a musical.

The city lights were glamorous; every building had a different color light. The stars were twinkling up above, not too visible with the city smog, but who needed the stars in the sky when they were right in front of you?

"If you don't stop staring like a cute little boy, you're gonna make me crash." Lavi joked.

Allen huffed but beamed.

He'd seen the city lights before, but not that often. He was usually _inside_ the buildings during the night.

They ate dinner by candlelight, the dim lights of the fancy restaurant creating a calm and sophisticated atmosphere. They still had their laughs though.

The musical was filled with even more laughs, not only because it was funny, but because Lavi would jokingly imitate funny actors.

"Stop it Lavi!" Allen whispered through a smile.

"Oh sweet Anna-Lou~ you're my cousin! Shucks, we're SUPPOSED to get married!"

Thank goodness the actors said something funny so the audience roared just in time for when the two laughed hysterically.

They got a few strange looks, but it didn't matter. Allen smiled and covered his mouth with his hand to muffle a few more giggles and rested his head on Lavi's shoulder.

It was such a wonderful night.

**000**

"Good Night Lavi, I had a great time." Allen smiled genuinely.

"I'm glad." Lavi smiled in returned.

"So…does that earn me a kiss?"

Allen laughed before leaning closer to Lavi.

"Yes." He breathed as their lips met.

Their lips locked sweetly, both sighing happily as they pulled away.

"Good Night."

"Good Night."

Allen stood in front of the hotel, smiling and waving off the love of his life.

**000**

**(****STOP SONG****)**

After Lavi was out of sight, Allen walked back to the alley where his stuff was. He sighed happily and cuddled the teddy bear Lavi had given him, burrowing his nose to breath Lavi's scent. It was there Allen saw a midnight black cat. It was so cute and looked so soft.

Allen smiled and petted its soft fur. It closed its eyes and purred. This made Allen smile more.

"You're so cute! Did you have a nice night as well?"

Allen's eyes quickly went from kind and sweet to shock and horror as the small kitten began to morph and grow bigger into a human-like form.

"I think you're the only kitten here. Allen Walker." whispered the human dangerously.

Allen was at a loss of words.

"Go ahead. Say my name."

"T-Tyki…Mikk."

"Correct."

Allen was smashed into the wall, the teddy bear ripped from his arms and torn to bits. Allen gaped in terror at the headless teddy bear. It turned into ash and seemingly melted into the concrete.

Allen opened his mouth to scream. Nothing. He couldn't talk! He couldn't talk!

His shirt was torn off, his pants unbuckled and forced to pool at his ankles. Allen's eyes welled with tears.

"Such an exquisitely broken doll we have here."

Allen was silent. Allen was shaking—so scared. No…no…

He was so scared. His arms trembled, his cheeks were stained with tears.

Lavi? Lavi? Where was Lavi?

Help! He needed help!

"Let's see how much you're worth." Tyki advanced on Allen, his words dark and threatening.

Black.

**000**

Lavi awoke from his small nap; the heart monitor was shooting off the charts. Allen was shaking violently and his mouth was open in shock.

Lavi's visible eye widened. He gently shook Allen.

"Allen, wake up!" He whispered.

Allen's voice wasn't back yet, but Lavi could make out the words "No" and "Stop".

"Allen! Allen!" Lavi said a bit louder, shaking him a bit more.

Gray eyes flew open. For once, they were alert—paranoid, but completely alert. Allen's pupils constricted his chest heaving painfully.

Lavi gaped with a horrified expression on his face. This was a panic attack, wasn't it?

"Shhh…shhhh Allen, he's not real. Shh..I'm here. It's me, Lavi. It's me. He's not real…you're safe."

Allen's eyes were flooded with tears; he looked just like a child.

The faintest of whimpers escaped his throat. Lavi felt helpless not being able to hold Allen.

But he was afraid that would only frighten him even more.

Allen's mouth opened wide in a silent wail. His heart was racing and his breathing was highly unstable, but it was quickly subsiding.

"Allen, it was a dream. I'm here. Shhh, it was a dream."

Allen tried breathing slowly, taking deep breaths. He closed his eyes, letting the last of his tears fall down his face. He shuddered before his eyes gently closed again.

"Go back to sleep Allen…I'll be here. I'll always be here to protect you. I'll never leave you again. You hear me? I'm not leaving anymore."

Allen would've nodded if he could. _Thank you…thank you._

_Wait for me in the park Lavi…wait for me._

"I love you Allen."

Allen used the last of his strength to move his hand to weakly brush against Lavi's. Lavi's eyes widened a little, he felt relieved and overjoyed that Allen didn't hate him as much as he thought.

He immediately took Allen's hand in his, using both of his hands to warm it.

_I love you too…_

**000**

**Awwww…makes you wish it wasn't a dream, huh? Poor Allen. D: I personally have never endured such trauma; I can only imagine how horrible it would feel. But hey, it was cute and lighthearted while it lasted huh?**

**I tried to capture the essence of a perfect dream—your heart's most inner desire. It is what Allen wants. He just wants to escape to a world where they could be happy together. A place where he wasn't a prostitute; a place where nothing mattered but the fact that they loved each other.**

**And at some point, that dream can warp into a twisted and cynical nightmare.**

**And as always, you have to wake up at some point.**

**But anyway, wasn't that a good song? I LOVE LOVE LOVE Imogen Heap. Her music is just so unique and quirky. SHE'S ALSO ENGLISH. OHOHOHOHO.**

**Thanks for reading guys! I know the ending was depressing, but hey—you got a glimpse of a perfect world that's not happening so soon in this fanfiction. *SHOT* I just thought this needed a few happy moments in the mix, I hate depressing everyone for TOO long. D:**

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAVI (again)! :D**_

**ALSO: VERY IMPORTANT: Please go to my profile and vote for which fanfiction idea I should use for the next set of fanfictions I write! Your opinion counts!**

**Loved it? Hated it? Wished for more? PLEASE REVIEW! **

**AND GUESS WHAT? THIS FANFICTION IS OFFICIALLY OVER 100 PAGES LONG. WOOT.**


	34. Evermore

**BBS IS STILL ALIVE. Just extremely, extremely, EXTREMELY busy. **

**I'm so sorry I made you guys wait for over a month. That was very rude and inconsiderate on my part, but please understand that school work and studying for Nation-wide competitive exams are not exactly the easiest tasks.**

**Anyway, I'll probably upload more chapter later out of guilt. But as for now, please enjoy this small little oasis in the desert of a month I left you guys hanging. D:**

**Again, my apologies.**

**000**

When Allen woke up, it was morning again. He had no track of time; he didn't know what day it was. He didn't know what _year_ it was. Nor did he give a damn anyway.

Lavi was very much the same.

Even the sun looked bleak and weary. Lavi's fatigue overtook him and he was sleeping on his chair, his head sleepily draped next to where Allen's lap was on the bed. Allen felt like gelatin. His limbs felt loose and detached. Everything was gray and the colors he had seen in his dreams faded away into the darkness of the morning light.

He sat up—it was a very subtle movement, but it took practically all the strength out of Allen. He was propped against his pillow, breathing shallowly yet slowly. He was pale and disoriented. His arms were barely visible through multiple IVs and miscellanea. He looked like a robot. He _felt_ like a robot.

Lavi…

The pillows were too soft and the bed was too hard. The light was too bright and his throat was too dry. Allen wasn't supposed to be here. Why was he here? He didn't need to be here anymore. He needed to go back to his hotel room and live life like he used to.

He wished he and Lavi had never met.

At least then, he wouldn't have to pain someone else in the process of all this. Lavi didn't deserve this, and the guilt was almost too much for Allen. Why did he stay? Why?

Lavi…

Allen stared at his hand; it was pasty white and cracked from the dryness. He bit his lip, slowly sliding his hand to a tangled mass of red hair. His fingers agonizingly lifted a bit, slightly petting Lavi's hair. It was soft. Allen decided that he liked the feeling. He wished he'd never met Lavi. Lavi was too good of a person to have to put up with all of this.

Had they never met, Lavi would probably much happier right now—somewhere in Spain or France taking pictures of beautiful people and cruising around the brightly lit city streets with people screaming his name and smiling and waving at him. Maybe he'd have a classy French boyfriend or a charming Spanish boyfriend.

Either way, that boyfriend wouldn't be a prostitute.

Allen would have been blissfully ignorant of what it felt like to love. He'd continue on his merry way, a creature of the night. A lowly whore that lived off of the money he made from having unprotected sex with men he had just met on the streets.

He'd wear 7 inch heel stilettos and dance for anyone willing to watch and pay on desperate days. He'd be gulping down drinks to numb the pain in his back. He'd be popping pills and injecting whatnot to get it up for his customers. He'd probably be dead before he reached the age of 20.

That was how it was supposed to be.

That was the way life was supposed to take its course.

Lavi was supposed to be in Europe right now and Allen was supposed to be waking up in a random man's bed, grabbing the money from his wallet and making a mad dash for the door with his dirty laundry clutched in one hand and the money in the other.

He wasn't supposed to feel so…he wasn't supposed to be _feeling_ right now. He wasn't supposed to be emotional right now. He wasn't supposed to be in love right now.

Lavi wasn't supposed to be lying there, waiting for him to be okay. Lavi wasn't supposed to feel hurt and used right now. Lavi wasn't supposed to be attached to him.

Lavi…

But even still…Allen loved Lavi. And Lavi loved Allen. And life decided it was going to be convoluted.

Allen's fingers twitched in Lavi's hair, causing the sleeping redhead to stir. Lavi mumbled something about "finding the goddamn bastard" before he sat up slowly. He rubbed his eye and it blinked once, twice, and three times before focusing in on Allen.

Lavi…

Allen opened his mouth to speak. His voice was sore, cracking, and raspy but he wanted to speak.

"L-Laaavi." Allen's voice sounded terribly dissonant, but it was like a symphony to Lavi's ears.

"I see you're awake now." He murmured calmly, a small smile spreading onto his lips.

Allen nodded, his eye wincing when he had to lift his head back up.

"You slept for 18 hours. They must've really knocked you out."

Allen didn't move, but the spark of understanding and attentiveness in his eyes spoke millions.

Lavi sighed happily, "I'm glad you're feeling a little better, even if it's just a little."

The corners of Allen's lips curved achingly into a small smile as if to say, "Yeah…just a little."

The weakened white haired boy's hand began to slip from Lavi's crimson hair, but said redhead caught it in his own hand just in time, smiling and holding it to his cheek.

"You're not as cold anymore." He murmured, turning his head slightly to kiss the palm.

A small blush slowly overtook Allen's face at the contact, his fingers twitching nervously.

Lavi's smile grew into a grin—one Allen hadn't seen in what seemed like forever.

Allen's lips parted slightly in a small sigh and it was Lavi's turn to blush ever so slightly.

Even when he was in a hospital bed, Allen looked so _beautiful_.

"I was worried…but I'm not as worried anymore because I know that you're a strong person. You've been through so much, and this time I promise I'll be here to be right by your side. I won't leave anymore…that is, unless you want to be alone, but…" Lavi paused—realizing his rambling but after a few moments, putting that handsomely determined look back on his face.

"But even still, I'm going to do all I can to help you."

**000**

**I apologize ONE MORE TIME. A month was pretty mean on my part, but then again, I honestly had more important things to attend to. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for sticking with my story for so long :D **


	35. Tonight

**WOO ANOTHER CHAPTER. A long one at that ;D I realized how much of a downer I was being with these chapters lately, but I just wanted to capture just how much pain and suffering a trauma like rape can cause. **

**It isn't something that goes away in a day like it seems in far too many other yaoi fictions. **

**But on a brighter note, this chapter is actually pretty happy. :D**

**ALSO: PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS A TIME SKIP (which will be announced) IN THE MIDDLE. So please take note of why Allen and Lavi are all of a sudden so different from the scene before. **

**ENJOY!**

**000**

It had been a week and a half. Allen was doing so much better than before. He could speak fluently (though there were still a few stutters here and there) and he could do little things for himself such as sit up and lie down, move and adjust himself on the bed, and on good days, he could even feed himself.

Lavi had only returned home 3 times throughout, and that was to check on everything, get the mail, bring a few things Allen might've wanted, and negotiate a 3 month vacation with his boss and agency. And this was all late at night while Allen was asleep, so he wouldn't have gotten lonely.

It was currently the late afternoon, and Allen and Lavi were back to their normal patterns of conversation. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened.

Almost.

But even still, things were fairly smooth. Allen still had frequent nightmares, but Lavi was always there to wake him up and comfort him.

It was that late afternoon in the midst of talking when Lavi began to discuss the immediate future.

"Allen."

"Hm?"

"When you get out of this place—when _we_ get out of this place, you're going to need somewhere to go."

Allen stayed quiet. It's not as if the thought had never crossed his mind. He figured he could bribe the hotel owner into letting him in again.

"And…when that…I want you to be…" the redhead stumbled over his words before sighing and taking a breath.

"When you get out, it wouldn't bother me if you…came home with me." He murmured with nervous conviction.

Allen sat in a hushed shock. He…that would've been so wonderful. So many times since he met Lavi had he thought about living with Lavi, being with Lavi 24/7, being with Lavi for the rest of his life—forever.

But…

"You've already done so much already…"

Allen felt guilty making Lavi his caretaker. Lavi deserved better than to always have to worry about him.

"I don't want to worry you…"

"You'd worry me even more if I ever let you out of my sight again." Lavi pressed, why couldn't Allen see?

Allen flinched (only very slightly though) as Lavi pressed a hand onto his lap.

"I want this to happen, Allen. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I wouldn't mind at all."

"I…I just…" Allen brought a hand to cover his mouth as small tears began to form at his eyes.

Lavi was just too selfless. Allen didn't want to take advantage. He didn't want to put Lavi through the aftermath of everything. He still had a hard time understanding why he had even stuck around for this long.

He wasn't a perfect virgin; he was a goddamn prostitute for heaven's sake! He was already broken in (many times); he was used merchandise—second hand garbage.

Why?

Such kindness brought Allen to tears.

Lavi's eyebrows knitted together worriedly. Did that hurt Allen? Was this a bad reaction?

Lavi stood and cautiously moved closer to Allen, enclosing him in a very slow and steady hug so as not to scare him.

His thin shoulders were shaking and his back shuddered with small sobs.

"I know it sounds like a rash decision and it may be too soon…but I really want this to happen. All you need to say is yes. You make me so happy Allen, you really do…" Lavi murmured comfortingly as he gently stroked Allen's back.

"This…this would make me happy Allen. I want you to stay with me. I don't want to leave you ever again. I know…I know that maybe you don't feel the same way…but please, just stay for a little while? If you don't like it, I promise I'll get you a place somewhere else."

Allen was silent now, but he was still listening intently.

There were a few moments where nothing but the sound of a breeze outside the window filled the room with its pastel walls and drab linoleum floor.

"Would you really?" Allen whispered—his voice raspy and almost squeaky.

Lavi's eyes widened but his expression quickly dissolved into a warm smile as he held the boy closer to his chest.

"Yes." He whispered back.

And as he did so, he could feel Allen's arms hesitantly wrap around his neck.

"Thank you…so much…"

**000**

***Approximately ****2 months**** later***

**000**

Allen groaned in pain after his legs gave out from under him. He gripped the two parallel metal bars on either side of him and tried to stand again.

Sweating and biting his lip, Allen hoisted himself upright and began to walk a few more steps, little by little while using his trembling hands to balance on the two bars that extended almost all the way across the room.

His physical therapist was a nice woman who helped him around a lot and often pushed him to his limits.

"You're getting so much better Allen, keep it up. Just a few more steps and you're done for the day."

Allen nodded determinedly, stepping forward again, and again, and again. His lower back hurt like hell and his legs had become so weak from lying in bed for so long that even this was a challenge.

The therapist clapped as a wide smile overtook her face.

"And you're done! You are making so much progress."

Allen smiled weakly.

"Thank you."

"You're certainly welcome! Why, at this rate you'll be done with regular visits in no time."

This brought another smile to Allen's face.

"You really think so?" He whispered.

"Sure! But in a bit, okay? Not just right now. Maybe in a few weeks." She warned.

Allen nodded and sat in his wheelchair. It was only temporary, meant to be used for the first 3 months Allen was out of the hospital because any complications such as sprains, strains, or fractures could easily send him straight back into the hospital. As soon as his physical therapist signed the papers that would enable him reprieve from his wheelchair, Allen could do whatever he wished so long as it wasn't dangerous.

Allen said a quick farewell as he slowly wheeled himself to the door which the woman held open for him. He waved once more before exiting.

Lavi had been waiting for him outside and stood when he heard the rolling of Allen's wheelchair.

He grinned, "All finished?"

"Mmhm." Allen smiled.

"Good." The redhead replied, giving Allen a small kiss on the top of his head.

"Do you really want to be doing that after I sweat all that much back there?" Allen smirked.

"I'll even do it again." Lavi countered playfully, giving him another kiss.

"Now stop that!" Allen laughed as Lavi grinned wider and walked behind him to push his wheelchair out the door. He had already checked Allen out of the clinic a few minutes before he finished his session.

Allen gazed at the sky and the spring sun as they headed to Lavi's car in the parking lot. They were going home.

_Home_.

_Their_ home.

The white-haired boy smiled contently as they stopped in front of the car. Lavi was about to help him when he held up a hand.

"I can do this by myself now." Allen explained as he stood unsteadily and opened the car door.

He was about to trip a little when Lavi immediately scooped him up into his arms like a princess before setting him down carefully inside the passenger's seat.

"Hey! I was going to do that myself!" Allen pouted. He really could've done it by himself.

Lavi got in on his side after closing Allen's door and laughed a little.

"I promise you can get out on your own…for the most part." He grinned.

He'd never been happier since Allen had moved in with him. Every day was a good day. The moon was calmer, the sun was brighter, the birds sang all the more sweetly, and the day was lit up by Allen's smile.

Lavi had the privilege of waking up every morning to that lovely and peaceful face quietly breathing beside him. Lavi had the privilege of spending all day gazing into those silvery gray eyes—watching rosy pink spread across Allen's cheeks when they made eye contact. Lavi had the privilege of having meaningful and sometimes deeply intellectual and philosophical conversations with him, and Lavi had the privilege of holding Allen, comforting Allen, and kissing his tears away when he awoke from a nightmare.

It was just too bad that he had to return to work in a week.

He cherished the fact that he had Allen to return home to now, but he still worried about what could happen when he was away at work.

Granted, Lavi's agency was located 5 minutes more or less from his spacious apartment, there was still a chance that he could not get there in time in the case of an emergency.

Soon, they arrived home and sure enough, Allen got out of the car and into the wheelchair by himself (under the watchful eye of a certain redhead).

Lavi smiled, "Well done, well done!" he clapped.

Allen rolled his eyes jokingly as he wheeled away from the car so Lavi could shut the door. The two then took the elevator up and entered the apartment and into the bedroom in which then Allen was finally scooped up and lightly dropped onto the bed from a terrifying height of 5 centimeters.

Allen sighed and closed his eyes.

"Kiss me Lavi" he breathed with a mischievous smile on his face as he spread his arms in a T on the bed.

An eyebrow quirked.

"You sure are frisky today aren't you?" the redhead chuckled.

But he wouldn't question it since he hadn't seen Allen this joyful and playful in a long time. Perhaps it was because he was almost finished with his routine visits to the physical therapist.

Lavi leaned down for a kiss but stopped mid-journey. Allen's eyes were still closed, but his patience was running out quickly. Pretty soon he opened one eye, then the other eye. Lavi was smiling foolishly down at him.

Allen growled and pulled Lavi to him, grasping his fiery red hair.

It was just about the cutest thing Allen could've done. His growl sounded like a kitten trying to growl like a dog. It was just too adorable to bear.

Lavi flashed a wild grin before their lips connected. It was sweet and slow first, but Allen was growing surprisingly feisty. Lavi pulled away after a few moments before pressing a finger to Allen's lips (which were currently molded into an annoyed pout).

"Now now princess. Let's not get too frolicsome. You might break a hi—."

Allen had cut the redhead off in another small kiss, just to spite him.

Finally the white-haired boy pulled away on his own accord and yawned contentedly, stretching out his arms a little more on the sheets.

Lavi laughed out loud heartily before he folded the wheelchair and put it away.

"I'll get started on lunch. You take a nap."

"Sounds like a plan." Allen replied sleepily as he rolled over on his side.

"I'll wake you up in a bit, now get some rest."

Lavi shut the door soundlessly soon after and was about to walk into the kitchen when he heard Allen call.

"W-Wait!"

Lavi semi-ran back to the door—opening it to see that Allen had already sat up.

"I still need a bath…" Allen murmured embarrassedly. He felt so childish for saying that.

"Ah, that's right" Lavi repeated, "You should take a bath. Stay right here, I'll go fill the tub."

Lavi walked into the adjoining bathroom and started the water, making sure it was of the correct temperature.

"Hold on!" Allen yelled over the roaring water.

Lavi poked his head into the bedroom.

"What?"

"Maybe we could…take one together…later?" Allen's face gradually grew redder and redder as he said so.

Lavi looked dumbfounded for a moment before he smiled again.

"Sure. I'll drain the water, now get some rest. I'm getting hungry."

Allen smiled softly to himself after Lavi disappeared once more into the bathroom.

Soon enough, Lavi left Allen alone in the bedroom again to get some rest after a day of physical strain.

Allen began to ponder and even become quite nervous for tonight.

They hadn't done anything really romantic in a long time. There just wasn't enough time between Allen's physical therapy, emotional and mental therapy, doctor's visits, and necessary sleep.

They were also reluctant because of Allen's emotional fears acting up. When Lavi got too close for comfort, no matter how much Allen felt like he could trust him—he'd begin hyperventilating, wailing, and ask for him to stop. He'd just keep imagining…someone else. Things would keep coming back. Things he should've best forgotten.

But...maybe just for tonight, things would work out for them…

Maybe tonight Allen could forget and let go of a few things.

Maybe tonight could be a night when they could be like when they first met.

Allen laid back down and held a finger to his lips, smiling ever so slightly.

He couldn't wait until tonight.

**000**

**WAS THIS CHAPTER TO YOR LIKING? :D**

**I certainly liked it, not to mention WORKED MY ASS OFF ON IT WHEN I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR 2 EXAMS. LOLOL.**

**This may OR MAY NOT lead to smut. I think it might be a bit too soon.**

**What do you guys think? NOW BE HONEST.**

**Please review, it only takes 2 minutes of your time and those 2 minutes tend to make my whole day :)**


	36. Sensation

**BBS again! I just finished an exam yesterday and I'm feeling much better now. Only two more to go! I barely got to squeeze in writing time for this chapter and I'm sorry the wait is so long. **

**I know it's rather rude of me to put things off—but please understand my circumstances and thank you for your patience :)**

**000**

Allen was gently shaken awake.

"Allen. Allen it's time to eat." Lavi whispered, lovingly caressing Allen's shoulder.

This was one of the few lucky times where Allen didn't have nightmares. The boy sat up and blinked a few times before his hazy eyes opened to reveal his silver irises.

"Mmm…okay." He mumbled as he stretched out his arms.

Lavi smiled—Allen was just too adorable sometimes.

"Where's my," Allen yawned, "wheelchair?"

"It's such a short distance you know, I could just carry you." Lavi grinned.

"N-No!" Allen cried, "I can do it myself." He insisted.

"Oh come on Allen it's only a couple of meters from the table." The redhead reasoned as he scooped up the sleepy bundle into his arms. Allen's mouth opened to shriek, but he decided that wasn't necessary. Lavi _did_ have a point.

"I really could've done it myself, Lavi." Allen muttered. He hated being so dependent.

"I know darling, I know." He murmured back into Allen's ear, kissing the side of his head.

The aroma of…chicken glazed with lemon permeated the air once they walked out of the room.

"Lavi..?" Allen questioned, taking a whiff of the air. It smelled…familiar.

The two then approached the table where indeed—there was a steaming chicken on a platter glazed and decorated with lemon slices and various herbs.

Allen's eyes widened in surprise and turned to look up at Lavi as he was set down on a chair on one side of the table.

"You…made this yourself?"

"You taught me, remember?" Lavi smiled, "I'm good at memorizing things. I also have a photographic memory."

Allen mumbled a few words about cutting the potatoes correctly before he leaned forward with a fork and tried a bite, chewing thoughtfully.

"It's a liiiiiiittle dry, but that's probably because you had to go and wake me up and left it here." Allen smiled widely.

Lavi rolled his eyes and smiled again, "Thank you for that Mister Top Chef."

"You're welcome!" Allen replied with a devious little smirk on his face.

The two were seated and began to pick at the chicken as they filled their plates and spoke amiably between bites.

As soon as they finished, Lavi stood and gathered the plates and silverware to put into the sink. He'd wash them later.

"Want some ice cream?" Lavi called as he poked his head inside the freezer.

"Uh-huh!" Allen chirped.

Lavi laughed at Allen's excitability and grabbed two spoons and a carton of strawberry ice cream, setting them onto a nearby counter.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"I" Allen blushed at the thought, "I just want to eat here and then we could…take a bath."

Lavi almost laughed at Allen's eagerness. It was such a strange occurrence nowadays that it was almost ridiculous. But Lavi settled for a nod and a small smile as he sat down once more across from Allen.

"You know," Lavi took a spoonful of ice cream, "I have to get back to work in a week or so. And I don't want you to be alone. Do you want me to hire a maid to help around?"

Allen quickly shook his head "no". That was completely unnecessary. He may have been slightly disabled, but he wasn't senile.

"It would just be a waste of money. I still have the cell phone you gave me and the house phone is always here too. If I'm in trouble or need help, I could just call you or a neighbor."

Lavi bit his lip slightly. But what if it wasn't soon enough?

"What if you're really in trouble though, what if no one was there to protect you?" Lavi pressed.

"I'll be fine, Lavi. I promise, you'd think I'd know how to take care of myself with how I used to live."

It was true; through his years of prostitution Allen had learned a lot more than just tricks in the bedroom.

"Don't worry about me. I'm safe now; I'm not on the streets anymore. You've done far more than protect me, Lavi." He whispered meaningfully as he placed a gentle hand on top of the redhead's.

He really did mean it. He hadn't had a permanent home like this ever since he ran away from his foster family and became an illegal child prostitute. A home meant so much more to him than it could've with anyone else.

A permanent home was so much more secure, Allen had peace of mind here and he didn't have to worry about being surrounded with unsafe people because he had already met Lavi's neighbors and they were all very friendly.

"And I thank you so much, you don't even know…but you have to trust me, Lavi. I promise I'll be fine—more than fine. I'll become less dependent on you all the time and I promise to call you every now and again."

Lavi listened intently, but still had his doubts.

"So you'll call me if there's any trouble?"

"Of course I would, what else am I going to do?" Allen smiled weakly.

"Alright then…but if you need help after next week, make sure you tell me."

Allen smiled wider—more genuinely.

"Don't worry, I promise."

Lavi leaned over the table for a nervous kiss. Allen tried his best to convey that he really was fine alone. He felt a blush rise onto his cheeks when Lavi cupped the side of his face. He couldn't help the quiet mewl that escaped his lips when he tasted the strawberry ice cream on both their tongues. The two briefly pulled away before Lavi stood, scooped Allen up into his arms (willingly this time), and headed into the bedroom.

He set Allen down on the bed before walking into the bathroom to draw the bathwater. Allen shivered at the sound. He fidgeted nervously in the sheets, partially admiring the way the cotton felt against his skin.

After what seemed like a century, the water was shut off. Allen almost wanted to stand and run into the bathroom to jump into Lavi's arms, but he would probably end up falling before he reached his targeted destination.

But something even better happened. Allen caught sight of Lavi's crimson hair peek out from the door before his lover walked back into the bedroom—shirtless.

Allen really shouldn't have been surprised since he'd seen way more of this than others would've seen in their lifetimes. It used to be his job to undress people and see them partially naked, if not completely naked.

But Lavi was always his weak point. Lavi always found a way to surprise him. This was evident in the way Allen's face heated up as he stared at the perfectly defined and toned muscles of the redhead's abdominals. They were the epitome of perfection to Allen's eyes.

Lavi looked completely innocent, he was simply going to tell Allen the water was ready, but after seeing the look on Allen's face, his smile grew increasingly devilish. He padded closer to the bed on which Allen was frozen—leaning over for a playful kiss.

"See something you like?" he chuckled darkly before delving into Allen's lips.

Goose bumps rose on Allen's arms and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Lavi supported himself on his hands as he leaned over Allen—causing the boy to lean back a little as well. This was such a nice feeling. Both hadn't been this way in a very long time.

Lavi diverged from Allen's lips after a few moments, gently kissing his cheek, each closed eye, forehead, and back to the corner of his lips. Allen made a small noise of contentment as Lavi did so. It felt pleasant, comforting.

Before Allen could fully unleash just how much he'd missed being like this with Lavi, he was carried to the bathtub.

The lights were dim and the air smelled faintly of vanilla and lavender. There were candles lined up on one side of the sink counter and the water danced in the lights.

"Lavi…when..?" Allen breathed—this was so romantic.

"When you were asleep," Lavi smiled, "Do you like it?"

Lavi was answered with a sweet and loving kiss.

"Yes." He whispered into the redhead's ear and it was his turn to shiver.

He sat Allen down on the counter where there was an absence of candles and gave him a small kiss before lifting Allen's shirt up and over his head. Allen cursed himself for blushing so much. He'd already done this before—all his life in fact damnit! Why was this fazing him so much?

Lavi pressed a kiss on his collarbone, the corner where Allen's neck and jaw met, and ran his hands down his sides, earning another shudder and a quiet whine.

"You're so _beautiful_…" he whispered as he left another kiss on Allen's lips.

He felt the redhead's hand gently run up and down his neck and brush against his cheek—pausing to caress the warm flesh. Allen's pale hands tangled in Lavi's unruly scarlet hair as his lips were captured once more. And once more. They didn't last long enough, either of them. They were both far too short. Allen tried his best to get Lavi to stay engaged in a kiss for longer than a few fleeting moments, but Lavi would never deny a chance to taunt Allen all the more.

Their eyes locked and each let out a sigh of fascination, of exhilaration as if they were seeing each other again for the first time.

"Allen…"

"La—mmhh…L-Lavi.."

A high pitched whimper echoed slightly through the still air as Lavi oh so slowly and teasingly rolled the sensitive nipples of his chest between his fingers. It made Allen want to shiver at the way the pink nubs on his chest were hardening under the redhead's touch. The room seemingly heated up and he was already panting softly.

Allen lifted his hips shyly as he felt Lavi tug at his pants. He was already getting aroused by the small things happening to him. Another kiss was initiated and Allen was glad that he was sitting for if he were standing, he would've—without a doubt—buckled under how amazing he felt. Only Lavi could make him feel this way.

Only Lavi.

**000**

**Heehee lime-ilicious no? Well, I guess you'll have to see what's coming your way next for all this description to matter…**

**Also: Thank you EVERYONE for your reviews. I really do read **_**every single one**_**. I just haven't the time lately to respond to all of them. I smile every time I see my inbox with messages and cute little bits of feedback. I appreciate all of you guys so please don't think I'm taking you guys for granted! DD:**

**On that note, please review if you have a minute to spare. **


	37. Devastation

**BBS here again! Firstly, I'd like to clear up a misunderstanding that some may have gotten. In my last chapter, I said "only 2 more to go!" and by that I was referring to my huge exams. I wasn't talking about the number of chapters left. Oh heavens no, this may very well go on for another 10-ish chapters.**

**I'd also like to take the time to say Happy Halloween to those that celebrate it! And also a shout out to all of my lovely readers. :'D**

**I assure you; I read every single one of your reviews. I even smile and chortle at a few. They light up my school weeks of boredom, fatigue, and drabness. Please don't think I'm ignoring you if I don't reply—it's simply that I don't have the time. I love every one of you guys! I'd never have the strength and capacity to continue this without the amazing support.**

**But now, we must move…ONWARD!**

**000**

The two were quickly undressed, embracing each other in the dim light of the scented candles. As naked as they were, their raw emotions could be seen in every movement, every caress, every flicker of their eyes. The way their cheeks brushed, the way Allen's lashes lovingly lowered to sweep against the tops of his cheekbones, the way Lavi's each breath was that of elation—as if feeling, touching, and experiencing something so inexplicably beautiful and sacred.

The way Lavi's back bent over Allen, as if protecting him, the way Allen's back arched gracefully in return, daintily accepting such security. There was no sense of time, no sense of place. They were two souls simply drinking each other in—loving each other for their state of mind and the warmth of their hearts.

Both their eyes were closed, just wanting to _feel_ each other. Their lips brushed together like flower petals falling from the branches of trees, lightly kissing the ground. Memorizing each and every curve and bend of each other. Remembering the feelings they felt when they first laid eyes on each other. Letting their emotions wash over them—together.

At last, with the small flames licking at the darkness, Lavi bundled Allen in to his arms—lifting him and lowering him into the tub with caution. The water was steaming when he drew it and was now pleasantly warm the way he had planned it. He slipped into the tub with Allen soon after. It was big enough to just barely accommodate two people at once.

Immediately, Allen felt hands on his chest and down his sides—gasping in sickly surprise and delight. Lavi took that as an opportunity to taste the lips he seemingly never got enough of. The boy groaned softly into the redhead's mouth, loving the sensation of warm water lapping at his body.

The water was soothing and Lavi's touches were becoming more than just curious. Yet…yet Allen couldn't describe the feelings he felt for a single moment. It was a twang of…he couldn't quite put his finger on it other than the fact that he didn't want to be feeling it right now when this moment was supposed to be a special one for the two of them.

"You're shaking…" Lavi whispered, worried that this wasn't the right thing to do just yet.

It was true. As good as everything felt, Allen had felt a small tremble of fear every since he was lifted off the bed a few minutes ago. But he hadn't spoken about it because that would've ruined everything. They never, and he meant NEVER had time like this anymore and it was all his fault. It was all because of Tyki Mi—

Allen felt the blood slowly freeze in his veins.

"I…" Allen took a shallow breath, "I'm fine. I'm fine Lavi," he reassured with a small kiss.

Lavi frowned.

His lips were cold.

Things were most definitely not fine. What did Allen take him for? They'd been together for almost a year and he thinks that he knew absolutely nothing about him.

Lavi placed a feathery light kiss on Allen's cheek.

"If you're feeling uncomfortable, say so. We can stop."

Allen didn't respond—he really didn't want to stop. He was so stupid for thinking about such a thing at a moment like this! It was infuriating how amazingly incompetent he was! He was letting this control him and he just wanted to kick something but the overwhelmingly sinking feeling of dread began to overtake his senses…

His breath hitched as Lavi's tongue flickered against his neck, not feeling sensual electricity at all from it, but rather a little quiver of uneasiness.

_This is Lavi. This is Lavi. The one you love. Lavi. _Allen continued to remind himself.

Allen's chest felt like it was going to collapse in on itself when Lavi nuzzled into his neck. He inhaled thinly through his mouth which was parted in surprise and panic. He rested his hands in Lavi's brilliant scarlet hair—not sure whether to pull him closer or push him away.

_It's just Lavi. This is Lavi. You love Lavi. Lavi loves you…Lavi…Just Lavi._

It wasn't until he felt a hand trailing from his chest downward when a lone sob exploded from his throat with a guttural tone of despair.

As quick as a blade, Lavi sat up and stared into gray eyes, searching, only to detect dread and animalistic fear. Lavi's emerald eyes which were once filled with mirth and passion suddenly seemed to have dimmed with a look that whispered, "I should have seen this coming."

This only made Allen cry harder. It was all his fault. It was all his damn fault! It was always his fault. Always! Always…

The white haired boy curled up into a weak ball, pulling his knees in closer to his body and clutching the sides of his head with his hands.

"_Such an exquisitely broken doll we have here…"_

"I'm scared…" He whimpered to himself—listening to the echoes of his voice resounding through the bathroom talk back to him.

"_You're an animal, worse than an animal."_

"I'm scared…I'm scared…I'm scared."

Each mention of being "scared" felt like a sharpened knife slowly being pressed into Lavi's heart.

His hands carefully cupped the sides of Allen's face, bringing his face up to meet his eyes. They were sympathetic and full of anxiety.

Their foreheads were pressed together as weary green eyes begged for silver ones to make contact.

Allen refused to meet his gaze. Even if he had tried, the tears would have muddled any eye contact.

"_Show me what you're worth, slut."_

He cried louder—almost like a child, Lavi noted.

"_Let's see how much you're worth."_

"I-I'm scared…"

Allen's weak hands grasped Lavi's wrists and his head drooped. Lavi could see a faint outline of Allen's spine through the shaking skin of his back.

"I'm sc-scared! I'm SCARED." Allen wailed as his grip tightened around Lavi's wrists.

"_You are __**worthless**__."_

"I'm scared," Allen groaned as his head shook from side to side.

"_You are __**nothing**__."_

"I can't…I can't…"

Lavi held him closer to his body, feeling every tremble and shiver running through his broken lover.

"_A penny for your thoughts."_

"Shhhh…I'm here. He's gone, Allen. He's gone." The redhead murmured, smoothing out Allen's damp hair.

"Come on…stand up." Lavi made sure to stay quiet so as not to scare the frightened boy.

"I'm sorry…I'm so, so, so sorry…" he whimpered.

With some help, Allen stood on his spindly legs—leaning heavily on Lavi and the bathroom wall for support.

"I'm sorry…I can't—I'm sorry…"

They both still had partial "problems" in terms of arousal, so the shower was turned on, cold.

Allen shuddered as he felt cold water hit his back and Lavi instantly stood in the way of the showerhead—letting the ice cold water douse his back, guarding Allen from it knowing that he was probably more than turned off by now.

The two eventually got out of the shower, Allen still refusing to look Lavi in the eye as he dried him off. He was still sniffling and a tear still slid from beyond his reach every now and then, but took a small hint of comfort in his mind when he sat perched on the bathroom counter while his undoubtedly disappointed lover dried him off with a warm towel.

After what seemed like an eternity later of dressing and getting ready for bed, the two lay beside each other. It was dark except for the small light that was kept by Allen's side of the bed. Normally, Lavi would have his arms around Allen's waist as his nose buried into his neck, but after what had just happened, he decided that perhaps it was better to give Allen his space.

Soft pitter patters were heard of Allen's tears splashing onto his pillow.

How Lavi longed to have his arms around Allen.

How Allen longed to feel Lavi's arms around him.

Finally, Allen couldn't take the silence, the darkness, the fear anymore. He wiped his eyes before he rolled over and sat up on his elbows. He could see Lavi's burning crimson hair even in the dim light. Said redhead turned around—wondering if Allen was in trouble.

Their eyes instantly locked, cool green bonding with melted mercury.

"I'm sorry I ruined everything." Allen mumbled. His eyes were tired, worried, and full of guilt.

Lavi sat up and slowly slid his hand over Allen's.

"You didn't ruin anyth—"

The boy sighed, "Lavi. I did mess it up. You didn't deserve that. We didn't have to stop."

Lavi looked almost offended at the statement. His fingers gripped Allen's hand a little tighter.

"No. You weren't ready. _We_ weren't ready. It wasn't your fault. It's not your fault."

"Lavi…" Allen held his breath, hoping he'd stop acting like a girl and cry again, "you don't know how horrible I feel inside…you didn't deserve this. Any of this."

"Stop it. Stop thinking it's all your fault. It's not fair to either of us." Lavi commanded sternly.

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to forgive."

"I just wanted to," Allen bit his lip, "I just wanted to make you…happy." He rasped.

Lavi had to marvel at Allen's sense of cluelessness.

His arms wrapped around Allen, pulling his toward him where he sat. Despite the cold shower and quick preparation for bedtime, Allen felt comfortingly warm. Warm and even a bit frail.

"The fact that you're alive makes me happier than anything ever could." He whispered while running his fingers through silky soft strands of ivory hair.

"…really?" Allen murmured, as if disbelieving, but oh so wanting to believe.

The boy felt a kiss pressed against the smooth of his cheek before the redhead moved to lie down. After a few moments of quiet rest, Allen heard a small,

"Yes. I love you so much, Allen. I want you to understand that."

Allen let out a sigh of relief as Lavi arms pulled him closer. He turned around and nuzzled into his lover's chest, inhaling the intoxicatingly soothing scent of no one other than Lavi.

"I love you too…I love you too…"

**000**

**Sad, yes I know. I assure you I'll try to cut back a little on the angst from now on. I suppose I just wanted to hammer home just how much a single moment(s) of trauma can echo and ruin a person's life. I'm not trying to be dramatic and angsty, I'm trying to be realistic. **

**I personally dislike when some characters are made to be just as new after a traumatic event such as rape and/or death. In a matter of minutes—it would seem as if it had never happened. I don't want to become one of those writers. The healing process is so painstakingly slow and agonizingly heartbreaking and I just want you guys to acknowledge that.**

**But like I said, this is probably going to be one of the last super angsty chapters in the fic. There will be clear skies ahead. :)**

**Please leave a review! **

**I crammed every possible free moment at home to piece together this chapter so I can hear/read all your lovely voices again. I MISSED YOU GUYS. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH.**

**(And if you have time, vote in my recent poll)**


	38. Lachrymose

**Ah. I apologize for the past two months of no updating. But honestly, it was a struggle for me to write this chapter alone. I had a strange case of writer's block, just for this particular fiction. I didn't know where to go from where I'd ended up. But it's better now; I have a vague sense of where this will be going. :)**

**Now read :D**

**000**

Allen woke with a start to the ringing of a red and white cellphone on the nightstand. His eyelashes batted a few times to realize in a second's panic that the space of the bed next to him had been empty. He looked this way and that before he reluctantly picked up the phone and breathed a small inner sigh of relief when he was greeted with the familiar identification of:

_**Lavi :P**_

"Lavi..?"

"Ah, did I wake you? Sorry about that. Just didn't want you to worry in case you forgot."

"Don't—don't worry about it." Allen stammered, being alone again being a weird feeling.

"I'll be home in a few hours. Late afternoon-ish, still not quite sure exactly when. Will you be okay until then?"

"Mhm." Allen smiled a bit, before he realized the redhead probably couldn't tell.

"You'll be a good boy for me?" Allen could hear a smirk practically dripping from every word.

He blushed indignantly.

"I don't know…" he countered, "I guess I'll have to try really hard. Just for you."

Boisterous laughter was heard on the other side of the phone line before it died down a little after a static masked huff of annoyance was heard from the younger boy.

"Alright alright, that's good. Sayyyy—you haven't seen what's in the living room, have you?"

"I just woke up." Allen mumbled again, his mind still slightly hazed with sleep.

"Well, when you get the chance—maybe you'll go back to sleep after this, I don't know—but when you get the chance, you should see it."

"Promise."

"I have to go now, but I love you, Allen. I really do."

"I love you too Lavi…" Allen cooed into the speaker—his voice soft yet genuine.

"I'll see you when I get home. I left some food in the fridge for you later. Are you sure there isn't anything else you might nee—"

"I'll be fine Lavi. I love you lots."

"Promise? Well, keep the cellphone with you because you never know if—"

"I'll be _fine_ Lavi."

"Okay, just making sure. Oh hey—"

"Lavi!" Allen scolded, "I can take care of myself." His voice dipped into another whisper.

"I know, I know. Sorry…I just worry."

"You have no reason to."

"I have _every_ rea—"

"Ah, it seems I must leave Mr. Talk-a-lot. We'll have another chat in a bit, ta-ta!" Allen chirped before hanging up.

He smiled at the immediate text message he received just seconds after.

"**I still say I love you."**

Allen's smile grew broader.

"**And I still say you're a hopeless worry-wart. :P"**

The white haired boy set the cellphone down on the nightstand before he attempted to reach for his wheelchair.

No avail.

He reached harder, huffing in frustration when he realized it was way too far away for him to reach. Finally, muttering under his breath, he stood unsteadily on his own two feet, getting just enough momentum to walk a few steps before collapsing into his chair. A spark of pain ran up his thigh, but other than that, it felt good to walk again…even if it was just for a little while.

Allen wheeled himself out to the living room, snatching to phone from the nightstand to bring with him. He gasped in awe at what he saw as he wheeled closer.

It was a collage…of Allen's pictures. The ones Lavi had taken at the park a few days after they had met.

"Get well soon, Allen" it read in Lavi's handwriting in the right hand corner.

The center picture was one of the two of them—they were on a park bench and Allen's had his face buried in Lavi's neck out of embarrassment , said redhead grinning like he had the world in the palm of his hand.

Allen gazed at the collage for a few minutes, unmoving as he scanned all the pictures Lavi had taken of him. Some of them were…daresay…pretty? Allen had never had long enough to actually take a good look at himself.

A long look at himself.

He'd only ever based his self worth off of what his clients had told him, part of him doubting their kind and passionate words, and the other half wanting to believe that what they said was true.

But this…this didn't need heated words whispered uncomfortably into his ear as he was torn apart from the inside out. This didn't call for moaned praises as Allen's knees grew gradually purple with bruises. It didn't call for anything but an unreadable stare and the surprise of a hot tear rolling down his face unbidden.

The day was gray, the lightest beam of sunshine barely covering the city in the coldest of warmth.

And there Allen sat in his wheelchair by the window of the living room, his eyes latched onto the frame in front of him, tears of gratitude and disbelief running down his marred face.

**000**

A few minutes later, Allen sniffled quietly before wiping his tears with his arm. He wheeled himself over to the kitchen, looking for a bite to eat. He glanced out the window, it was slightly sunnier than before and a small smile spread on his face.

His life had changed so drastically in the course of approximately a year.

Because of one person.

Because of Lavi.

Allen stared blankly at the kitchen counter, cursing himself and gritting his teeth while he felt hot tears slide down his cheeks once more.

He'd been saved from a lifetime of sorrow. Where would he be now without any outside interference?

In another man's bed?

In the hospital?

In his grave?

Allen stared at the palms of his hands. Why him?

Why had Lavi chosen

him?

_"Good Night Lavi."_

_"Good Night…Allen."_

Their first night together…as client and prostitute.

Allen laughed a quiet, mirthless laugh—more of a wheeze.

A prostitute. That was all he was, a low down whore.

And even still…Lavi had chosen him.

_He had bruised knees from dropping to the floor so often._

_He had finger marks on his hips from having multiple men grab him._

_He was thin, sickly, and mangled beyond belief._

_He didn't have a proper education._

_He had this…this ugly __**scar**__ on his face…_

Yet…yet…

Lavi had refused to leave him behind in that dusky old hotel room—the scent of dirty sex and freshly fallen tears lingering in the air.

He refused to let go of his hand when he was in the hospital, hooked up to machines that supported his very breathing.

He refused to say goodbye when he was found raped and bloodied in a dark alleyway, his clothes tattered and his hair matted with dirt and tears.

He refused to shout or yell when Allen was completely dependent on him for everything. Including walking, eating, and sometimes—sleeping.

He refused to kick him out when he couldn't provide the only thing he'd been so used to giving everyone else in the world.

And Allen had yet to figure out why anyone would be as insane as the redhead to do such a thing.

"Lavi…" Allen choked through his tears, "I love you…"

The kitchen echoed back to him, his own words whispering,

"_I love you…I love you…love you…you…"_

**000**

Allen grunted as his trembling hands clutched the arms of the wheelchair.

He had had enough.

Today, he was going to walk again.

Without anyone's help.

Not the therapist, not Lavi.

_Especially_ Lavi.

He didn't want him to always have to wheel him around, or carry him. He'd done more than enough. More than he should have for someone as worthless as Allen.

His knuckles were white as he balanced on his own two feet. He clasped onto the back handles of the chair, the ones Lavi held when he pushed Allen around outside the house.

He took an unsteady step forward, the wheels of his wheelchair squeaking as he did so. He bit his lip in concentration, taking another step forward. Then another.

"O-Oww…" Allen muttered under his breath when his knees gave out from under him.

It felt like a dagger was stabbed into his kneecaps. Tears stung his eyes.

But the anger and frustration only egged on the boy filled with determination.

He tried to stand once more, falling again and having the wind knocked out of him.

He rubbed his backside tenderly—he just needed a little more practice was all.

He stood again, walking a few more steps before he fell onto the carpeted floor for the hundredth time. His muscles ached so much, his thighs were tensing and the bruises that still existed on his knees weren't helping in the least…

But like hell he was going to let Lavi have to baby him anymore.

He thought of all the times he looked up at Lavi's face edged with nervous worry, anxiety, pain, fear, and frustration…all because of Allen.

Allen groaned as he stood once more on his spindly legs. He grabbed his lower back, feeling a small twinge of pain there. He walked by himself a few more steps.

Then a few more.

And more.

Allen had stumbled once, but he had taken more than 5 steps without falling. A grin split his face in two as he continued to walk ever so slowly…but still walking nonetheless.

"Oof!" He fell against the couch.

His slim white fingers clutched the fabric of the couch, dragging himself to stand up again.

He'd do this for as long as it took because then maybe…he'd recover faster and be independent again. And he and Lavi could be equals and could take walks in the park and on the beach…they could walk to a café together or walk anywhere.

They could move on together.

**000**

e biy

Allen was asleep his limbs carelessly tossed over the couch when Lavi quietly unlocked the door to his apartment, cracking the door open to step inside. He closed the door behind him, approaching the couch where he saw a tuft of white hair, ever so slowly.

Allen's hair was disheveled and his forehead had the smallest beads of sweat on them. Lavi glanced over at the wheelchair across the room—immediately understanding what had happened.

"Oh Allen…" He whispered, tucking a few strands of white hair behind Allen's ear.

"You don't need to do this…" He murmured, tracing those beautiful lips.

"Yes…Yes I do." Allen mumbled as his eyes opened slightly.

Lavi's eye widened when he realized Allen had been awake. A thin wrist and hand entwined into his messy mop of red hair. The boy smiled.

"I do, Lavi." He smiled weakly.

"No…no you don't. You know perfectly well that I can do everything for you." Lavi said, pressing a kiss to Allen's lips.

"But that's the thing," Allen paused thoughtfully, "You have to do _everything_ for me. I hate it. You have better things to do in life."

Lavi grasped Allen's hand which was on his face, holding it in his before lightly kissing the palm.

"You _are_ my life."

"…really?" Allen whispered again, his silver doe eyes imploring Lavi's green ones.

"Yes, really."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Allen bit his lip in thought before he beamed up at the redhead, his eyes lighting up like Christmas lights.

"Then let's go to the park."

"What? Have you looked outside? It looks like it's going to rain any minute."

"But it's sunny." Allen pouted.

"You're going to get even sicker."

"Lavi…I haven't had the chance to go outside for myself since…since…"

Allen didn't remember.

Lavi didn't either.

"Please? I…I can walk on my own now. We could take a walk in the pa—."

"Allen, you're still not strong enough." Lavi frowned.

"Yes, I am!" Allen rebutted, "I walked by myself all this afternoon!"

"Allen…" Lavi sighed, "I don't want you getting hurt..."

"You worry too much," Allen sighed in return, pressing a gentle fluttery kiss on Lavi's cheek.

"If I fall, you can just catch me. We'll be back in no time. Please? I don't like staying cooped up for too long."

Lavi hesitated. He had to think about it.

But if it was what Allen really wanted…

"Please. I'll show you that I can do things on my own now. Just let me show you." Allen pleaded.

**000**

They were in the park. They were actually in the park.

Allen looked up at Lavi, who was holding his hand protectively as if Allen would turn into dust and fly away in the wind if he didn't hold on tight.

The sun looked like it would set in a few minutes, swelling into a bright orange ball of light, the sky turning a hazy pink as the clouds were still blocking it overhead. The trees were almost bare, only a few red and brown leaves clinging to them before falling in lazy circles to the ground.

Everything seemed the be bathed in orange.

And Allen was walking on his own.

Allen was walking on his own!

He leaned his head against Lavi's shoulder as they walked.

"Thank you so much…it's beautiful out here."

"You're welcome." Lavi replied rather softly, as if anxious.

The clouds began to rumble ever so slightly, putting a damper on the sun that continued to swell on the other side of the sky.

"It's going to rain."

Allen smiled, "Does it matter?"

"Allen. You could get," A louder rumble resounded through the sky and the people around them had begun to walk to their cars, "You could get sick."

Rain began to fall, drop by drop, drizzle by drizzle as the sun began to set. Birds were flying off into the distance.

Allen's nose wrinkled as a few drops hit his nose before he broke out into a surprisingly gleeful grin.

Another rumble.

"Come on Allen," Lavi's grip tightened on Allen's hand, "Let's go home."

"Wait! Don't be so worried, a little rain never hurt anyone." Allen reasoned, wrapping his arms around Lavi's neck.

Said redhead leaned closer until their foreheads touched.

"I don't want you to get hurt." He said restlessly.

"I won't, I promise. Let's just stay a little longer. Please?"

Allen's hair grew gradually damper as the crisp drops of fresh rainwater sprinkled from the sky.

Lavi's red hair clung to his face, his beautiful emerald eye brought out in the sea of tangled red.

"This isn't a good idea."

"Come on Lavi, live a little." Allen's voice seemed thoroughly exhilarated as the light of the sun reflecting off of his mirror gray eyes.

Lavi almost laughed. Allen…the one who had been living in so much danger all his life and nearly dying—was telling him to live a little.

"You always worry so much now because of me." The white haired boy spoke quieter.

Allen rested his cheek on his chest, Lavi instinctively wrapping his arms around the boy's waist, holding him a little closer so that he'd be warmer.

"But it doesn't matter, Allen. Your love is worth far more. So it's all worth it." Lavi smiled as he stroked the snow white hair in front of him.

The two remained still as such for a while before Lavi could hear a muffled voice coming from Allen.

"…we…" Allen whispered against his neck.

"What?"

"Can we dance?" Allen mumbled a bit louder, his cheeks flaring pink with embarrassment.

Dance? It was beginning to pour rain and Allen wanted to…dance? Lavi didn't understand.

"We've never danced with each other." Allen continued, "All the couples in movies do that, right? They dance with each other?"

A bleak smile spread on Lavi's lips. How cute.

But the couples in the movies were usually in formal attire, at a beautiful ball with lots of lights and people and music and chandeliers and masks…

Not in the pouring rain and rolling thunder at the city park. All alone as the sun set and thunder continued to roar.

What a strange request…

But nevertheless, Lavi shifted one step to the left, then his right, then his left, then his right again, cradling Allen in his arms as he mimicked his movements.

Allen's gray eyes matched the hue of the clouds above as they calmly gazed at the rain hitting the green grass below their feet. How they clung to the blades of grass and leaves of plants before they slid off.

The sun gave everything a strange tint of orange and pink as it nearly disappeared under the horizon. How strange it was to have it rain and be sunny at the same time.

The two swayed back and forth in the rain, from left to right,

left

to right,

left to

right…

The boy hugged Lavi closer as he buried his nose into Allen's feathery white hair, his large hands holding Allen closer and closer as the rain continued to bathe them.

Their clothes were all wet, their hair was soaked, and their shoes were drenched…

But none of it mattered.

It was true—they weren't exactly in a crowded room lit with chandeliers and people all around them in ball gowns and tuxedoes…In fact—they were far from that.

But it was as good as any dance with a lover.

Their bodies were drenched and shivering, but their hearts were warmed as they swayed with the wind from left to right,

_left to _

_right, _

_left_

_to right._

**000**

**Soooo…I kind of lied when I said that there would be COMPLETELY CLEAR SKIES AHEAD.**

**I'M SORRY. I guess I'm a bit of an angst-aholic nowadays.**

**I blame hormones.**

**But I will continue to try and update more often as best I can and try to lighten up the mood. I believe there is a time skip in the near future, so that'll be nice since all of the healing process would've been over for the most part. SO REVEL IN THAT WHILE YOU WAIT.**

**Please review! It's so nice to see you guys again, it's been ages since we've spoken.**


	39. Better

**Hey there! BBS is back! And in record time too! Just a little over a week, wow that's a surprise considering I've been EXTREMELY lazy nowadays. Hahaha but I missed writing about Lavi and Allen, so here I am with another chapter.**

**Please note that there is a 3 month time skip, meaning it is now spring time and Allen can fully walk on his own now.**

**You're WELCOME. Hahaha you guys were spared from a LOT more angsty chapters, but I decided to delete them all and stop being a downer. **

**000**

**3 months later…**

The television was silently garbling on a news channel Lavi had stopped watching. He was too busy looking out the window at the blooming flowers that burst like sparks of white fire from the trees outside. Spring had glazed the world over with flowers and dewdrops. To be completely honest, Lavi had never liked spring all too much. Everything was too…chipper. Too bright.

That was, until he'd seen Allen out in the spring atmosphere. His gray eyes reflecting flower petals in the crisp white light of the sun and his smile warming and melodic like the song of two lovebirds in flight. Speaking of which, the redhead wrapped an arm around the boy (Was he a man now? He'd been one for a while, Lavi supposed…but it just felt so strange calling him one. Were they really that ancient?) He was so small and soft…warm too. He was like an oversized kitten in his arms. His visible green eye melted when he felt said boy's head relax onto his shoulder, gently snuggling into the junction between his neck and shoulder. He stroked the white strands of hair as his held his love close. They'd been through so much…and here they were at last—peaceful, undisturbed, and together on a white Saturday morning. Lavi had his weekends off, so they'd go out to see what they could see every now and then.

Allen had made breakfast that morning; the redhead was still shocked every time he saw Allen walking on his own, though it had been at least a good 2 months since he'd begun to do so. His wheelchair was folded, discarded, and silently collecting dust in the hallway closet, the way it should've been.

"Did you want to go anywhere today?" Lavi mumbled as he pressed a kiss to Allen's ear, causing the latter to burst into a fit of giggles as he tried to shrug away from the ticklish sensation before trying to regain his composure.

"You spoil me too much." he spoke frankly.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't." Lavi countered with a smirk.

"I might get too spoiled and pompous." Allen retorted with a frivolous smile in response.

"We both know you won't." The redhead whispered, nipping at Allen's ear, eliciting a squeak as his mischievous grin widened.

Allen knew inside that he'd cherish everything, because that was what he'd taught himself to do from a young age so his losses didn't damage him as emotionally anymore. But damn, how'd Lavi know that? Either way, Allen didn't like the idea of taking advantage of his lover.

"So..? Where do you wanna go?"

Allen laughed again, shrugging himself from Lavi's arm and scooting away on the couch when the nips and kisses continued. He bundled up into fetal position at the other side of the couch, a small smile gracing his lips as he pondered an answer.

"I'm giving you to the count of three." Lavi warned with a devious grin, shifting to get on all fours on the couch.

"What? Why?" Allen shifted also, worriedly chewing his lip. What would happen at the count of three?

"One…" Lavi slowly crawled and inched toward Allen on the couch, causing the boy's beautiful gray eyes to widen before he smiled with exhilaration.

"Uhh…"

"Two…" Allen's smile grew nervous as Lavi drew closer yet.

"Umm…I—uh."

"Two and a half…"

"I think…no wait."

"Two and three quarters…"

"You wouldn't dare." Allen whispered as he smirked at the advancing redhead as he leaned back on his haunches to pounce.

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

"Uhh, I want to…where do _you_ wanna g—WAIT WAIT WAIT." Allen shrieked through his laughter as Lavi drew himself back like an arrow on a bow.

Allen sprang up from his position on the couch, leaping to the ground and making a break for it, but was ultimately captured by Lavi, the boy landing with a small "oof" as he was tackled.

"Lavi, 3 seconds is not fair." Allen pouted, combing his fingers through Lavi's royal red hair, his cheeks threatening to challenge the shade of scarlet when he felt Lavi nuzzle into his stomach.

"Ah! L-La—HAHAHA—LAVI! LAVI STOP—LAHAHA—LAVI!" Allen squealed, his shirt had been pushed up to expose his pale stomach and subject himself to the tickle torture of Lavi's silky hair.

He didn't even want to _think_ about how _girly_ he sounded as his pitch elevated with every movement of Lavi's head. Lavi's movement stopped abruptly, making Allen's laughter die down as his chest heaved up and down laboriously in search of oxygen. He brought a slender hand down to continue to stroke Lavi's hair, it somehow calmed him despite the fact that they were on the semi-itchy carpeted floor.

A green eye peeked up at Allen, his stunning features…the ivory-toned face, the overall fair skin, the silver eyes, and red mark down his face like the artistic flair of an artist…Those soft pink lips curved into a content U shape. He lifted himself off of him (he was undoubtedly crushing him under his weight), balancing himself over the small body as if he were about to do a push-up.

"You okay?"

"Haha…y-yeah." Allen spoke through his breathing, smile still intact.

Lavi didn't speak which was strange to Allen; he could see the emerald eye scanning him. Did he have something on his face? Was there something wrong?

"Is there s-something on my face?"

"Yeah, there is."

Allen's eyes widened a bit as he raised a hand to his cheek.

"Where?"

"Here…" Lavi pressed his lips to Allen's forehead.

"Here," his cheek.

"Here…" his closed eyelid.

"Here…" his jaw.

"And…here." His lips.

Allen cringed, if there was something on his face, why was Lavi kissing him? Gross. Allen pulled away, rubbing at his cheek.

"No really, what is it?"

"Beauty…" Lavi whispered, smiling.

"Lavi!" Allen reprimanded, his cheeks still blushing ever so brightly...

"You're so clichéd…" He whispered, his cheeks refusing to turn pale again.

Lavi threw his head back to laugh, a sound so melodic to Allen's ears. Deep, yet not too deep. Like the rich harmonies of a cello. Allen could smell his musk, an intoxicating scent only relative to Lavi and Lavi only.

He watched in fascination as Lavi's Adams apple bobbed up and down with his laughter. He brought a finger to it, making Lavi stop his laughing, pausing to let Allen do what he wished.

Curiously, Allen placed a kiss on it, another smile cracking his face in two as he did so.

"Think this is beautiful."

Lavi stared at him, stunned and on the verge of laughing again. How silly. His throat. Beautiful.

"You're a strange one." He murmured with a small grin, his lips cautiously brushing against Allen's.

Allen gasped at the sensation, pressing closer to Lavi, tugging his shirt. It wasn't passionate, or heated, or sexually charged at all for that matter. It was a kind of kiss Allen still had a hard time getting used to.

From his previous…occupation, there was no such thing as a chaste kiss. A loving kiss, a kiss just because, a kiss to say "I love you and never want to let you go". They were kisses of lust, a kiss because they felt they had to, a kiss to say "now take this kiss and go lower on me."

Allen loved these types of kisses. At first, he would ask 'why?' to which Lavi would respond with a shrug 'why not?' Their lips fit together like two missing puzzle pieces…as if their lips were made to kiss each other.

Allen had noticed that from the first time they'd slept together in that dingy hotel room. Lavi wasn't overly demanding or abusive at all, it seemed more of a…loving passion. He cared for Allen as well, making sure Allen felt just as good as Allen was making him feel. The two right away stared into each others' eyes after each "meeting", their eyes like metals: melting, smoldering, and cooling.

Allen could barely breathe from the happiness bubbling inside his chest (oh, and the lack of oxygen too.) but he steadfastly remained against Lavi's lips, their souls fluttering around and caressing each other as their lips did. Finally, Lavi pulled away with a small chuckle.

"I don't think my biceps appreciate this position as much as they should." He joked as he rolled onto his back beside Allen.

"And just when things were getting enjoyable." Allen playfully complained as he rolled over onto Lavi's stomach.

Their eyes emitted shock waves of passion, flickering and sparking every now and then as if an emerald were slowly and harshly dragged across a steel sheet. Each examined the other's ethereal exquisiteness with a look of wonder and endearment.

Allen leaned down for another kiss before he froze in his place, his underdeveloped muscles tensing and trembling at 2 words he heard from the grumbling television screen just across the way.

"At 9 o' clock this morning, Tyki Mikk…"

**000**

**OH NOES.**

**Please review…I appreciate favorites and alerts, but reviews are always the best way to keep me going. If you have been reading and tagging along for the ride but haven't spoken yet, please do so.**

**IT CAN BE MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, I SWEAR. D:**

**Thanks guys! :)**


	40. Sacrifice

**Two days. TWO DAYS? Wow. I was really excited to write this…morbid, messed up chapter.**

**Okay, HUGE WARNING for those who get queasy or can't handle gore. Okay, so it's not in detail whatsoever. But let's just say that the newscast lists all of Tyki Mikk's crimes, some of which made me cringe as I typed it.**

**There is also a flashback to when Allen was still imprisoned and trafficked by Tyki which is questionable in appropriateness for some.**

**Oh, and OOC Psycho!Tyki.**

**REMINDER: **_**Italics = Flashback/Allen's thoughts.**_

**Okay *deep breath*. Go forth and read.**

**000**

The redhead felt his blood freeze as well.

_Shit._

Wordlessly, Lavi stood, pulling Allen up with him—hugging him suffocatingly close as they both watched as the blonde television reporter speak with rushed fervor as "BREAKING NEWS" was spilled across the bottom of the screen.

An incoherent video shot depicting Tyki was shown. He was being led by police, hands cuffed behind his back, to the awaiting car.

"An update to the Tyki Mikk case we've been following has been posted. At eleven o' clock last night, he was taken into custody after being suspected for a range of crimes from selling drugs to human trafficking to multiple accounts of _murder_."

Allen shook violently at the mention of human trafficking and murder. Lavi only held him all the tighter.

Even still, with a concerned voice, the reporter continued.

"Robert, to reiterate—at nine o' clock this morning, Tyki Mikk has officially been detained by the federal court after what the judge said was 'overwhelming evidence at the scene of the crime'. It is not yet official, but government attorneys are almost positive that he will either face life in prison or even perhaps, the death penalty for second or first degree murder. It had yet to be resolved, but strangely enough, after being put in his prison cell, it is said that he made a surprising series of confessions."

"Yeah, Christine—I actually have a clip of that." said the news anchor that was apparently inside the studio.

"Oh okay then, roll the clip."

The screen flickered to the image of a mangy looking Tyki Mikk. His hair was even messier than usual; the dark circles under his eyes looking like hanging sockets in his face, and his skin looked so clammy that it was comparably gray. He was wearing a bright orange prisoner's suit. Yet…he was smirking. He had a finger playing with his hair as he began to speak.

"Fool. All of you—fools. It's about time you bastards caught onto what I've been up to. I swear to god that you all are complete buffoons for not catching this years and years ago. Do you know how long I've been in the trafficking business? More than you can count on your damn fingers, that's what."

His usual charm and drawly voice had lost its sensual sparkle and was replaced with a gruff layer of hardened hate and bitterness. His voice was raspy and he looked as if he hadn't shaved in days—even weeks.

"Mr. Mikk, how had you gotten—"

"Lenalee Lee, age 17," Tyki continued as if not stopped, effectively cutting off the person off camera interrogating him.

"Ah, such a lovely young girl, that Lenalee. So feisty too, but it only took a few days for her to flinch at every move I made. I kept her at an abandoned warehouse like my other pets."

Allen whimpered at the mention of "pets". He wasn't called the "Silver Kitty" when he got into prostitution for nothing.

"I had plenty of customers come for her. They'd fuck her brains out, but oh how beautiful she looked while they did."

Tyki frowned suddenly as if a bad taste settled on his lips.

"It was too bad I had to get rid of her. Contracted some hell of a disease, I didn't give a fuck. So I spared her the misery of living on like that. Lethal injection."

The interrogator could be heard scribbling things down with a scratchy pen from behind the scenes.

"Anna Friary. Age 15. I killed that ugly whore on the spot. Kitchen knife." He smirked.

"Some chick named Fou. Age 16. Annoying as fuck. Axe."

"Victoria Newton. Age 21. Never talked much. Didn't have many customers, so I ended up killing her too within the first few days. Lethal Injection."

"Alma Karma. Age 20. Electroshock."

"Katherine O'Donnell. Age 18," Tyki's eyes glinted as he continued, "Vivisection."

"Mr. Mikk, I-I believe that's enough for today, I—"

"Kanda Yuu. Age 19. Ah, such a fiery little bitch. Put up a fight from the minute I had him brought in. Stellar hair and eyes, beautiful and breathtaking. But he was a bit too fiery for his own good. So I let him join Lenalee in the whorehouse to get a grip on his attitude. But that didn't work either, so I had him gotten rid of too. Shotgun." Tyki observed his fingernails as if talking about the weather over tea.

The interrogator's voice seemed to quiver ever so slightly as he pressed, "I believe that's enou—"

"Daisya Barry. Age 20. Didn't last too long either. Good fuck though. I tried him out myself before letting anyone else touch him because I had a thing for strange anomalies. Abnormal pets rather…intrigue me. Decapitation."

Allen shook harder, his whole body convulsing with fright and horror. His silver eyes were wide open as they observed the man who had singlehandedly ruined his life with his cruelty as he discussed countless other lives that he not only ruined, but took away. Hot, salty tears fell from his eyes one by one, wetting the sleeve of Lavi's shirt as he bit his lip.

"Mr. Mikk, that's quite enough! I think we've had enough of—"

"ALLEN WALKER." Tyki yelled over the interrogator's voice, stunning everyone (including the interrogator into silence).

Tyki settled back into his tired, tea-party self, continuing his words with his eyes at half mast and his voice sober.

Allen bit back a sob, his eyes widening even wider than before—mimicking those of dinner plates. He felt frozen in place: unable to move, tear his eyes away, or bury himself into the safety of Lavi's chest.

The redhead's hands were clenched into fists around Allen, his teeth gritting with fury as he listened to the twisted excuse for a man describe how he'd treated Allen.

"He was 13 when I found him. Cute little thing, he was. Couldn't help fucking him as much as I did. He was so strange…so exotic, like those white tigers you imbeciles like to entertain yourself with at the circus. His eyes were pure silver and his hair was ivory white. He's probably…what? 15? 16 now?"

"Eighteen." Lavi hissed under his breath.

"But the point being: he was the only one that got away from me."

Allen began to sob into Lavi's chest. He remembered each and every one of them. Lenalee…Kanda…Daisya…and so many more that Tyki probably didn't even care to mention.

000

_Allen flinched as Lenalee slipped the strange small silicone pillowcase onto his overused erection. Damn aphrodisiacs barely kept him conscious. His penis was flaccid and bruised from blood clots and whatnot that Allen didn't even want to think about._

"_This Allen," Lenalee looked into his eyes meaningfully, "is a condom. It's to protect you from diseases that those dirty men can give you during sex. I'm going to leave you a few more, and if any more dirty men come in here—tell them that you won't do anything if they don't put these on."_

_With that, the older girl slipped about 10 more of the small pillowcase things toward Allen, who stared dumbfounded._

"_Wh…where'd you get this Lenalee? What about you? Don't you need them too?" _

_Lenalee bit her lip before doing her best to muster a smile. Her body was covered in bruises, cuts, and small unexplained spots. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she had risen from the grave. But nonetheless, she smiled so she wouldn't frighten the young boy._

_Slowly, as if reminiscent, Lenalee placed a palm on Allen's freshly scarred cheek, her rough hands caressing it gently as if Allen were a baby. Her eyes that were normally so hardened around Tyki were softened as she looked into his mirror-like eyes._

"_I still have more, don't worry. But I don't even bother using them anymore; I think it's a bit too late for me now. So you use them. They'll be put to better use." She fingered a small pock mark on her upper thigh, one of many that were scattered across her once flawless skin. _

"_Allen…you're young." Her voice croaked, presumably from all that screaming of hers that Allen heard from her room every night—synchronizing with his…Daisya's…and occasionally—even Kanda's._

"_You're young too, Lenalee." Allen replied quietly._

_Lenalee threw her head back and laughed, a bitter…mirthless laugh._

"_Am I? Look at me." She scoffed quietly._

"_My eyes are disgusting, my skin is wrinkling already…But you…Allen, you have a chance. Out of all of us, you have a chance of escaping this hellhole. I'm already too weak. I've been here longer than you'll ever know. It seems like ages…"_

"_Lenalee please don't…we're all getting out of here together. Soon, okay? Soon…" Allen cried desperately, clutching her bony wrists. _

_Lenalee smiled another hopeless smile._

"_Yeah…together…" she whispered._

_000_

_Lenalee continued to visit him night after night when even the moon wasn't visible in the sky._

_They'd talk about their lives beforehand, how good it was compared to how they were treated now._

_Lenalee taught him how to defend himself and how to negotiate and how to show his "clients" that he wasn't as weak as he looked—sharpening his argumentative skills as she slowly slipped him a steady supply of the small white pillowcase things. They'd discuss how one day they'd all escape together…_

_But even Allen noticed the lack of faith Lenalee had in herself. It was almost as if she knew she weren't going to make it for much longer. The shine in her eyes was gone, like a person who'd lost a reason to live. Her lips formed frown lines, the smallest wrinkles were around her eyes from the lack of sleep._

_One night—the door slammed open as they were talking about possible escape routes Lenalee had mapped out when she's seduce Tyki in the halls of the warehouse._

"_Hey, what's going on here? Tyki said that there weren't any—." a towering fat man was stopped by none other than Tyki Mikk himself._

"_Sorry for the delay. Miss Lee, might I ask what you are doing in little Allen's room during your working hours?"_

_Allen stared longingly at the door before Lenalee waved her hand subtly by her hip, just enough for his attention to turn to her. _

_Her eyes were filled with tears like those of a cow walking to the slaughterhouse._

"_Run." She mouthed. "When I say so, run Allen. Run. Hear me? Run."_

_Allen's eyes widened as he stared at his surroundings. Cement…cold…freezing…the scent of dirty sex lingering in the air. Cold…_

_Escape…_

"_But you…" Allen mouthed back, but Lenalee had already turned her attention to Tyki after blinking back her tears._

"_Sorry Tyki, just visiting, you know?" Lenalee smiled._

"_Ah, but hadn't I forbid you to do that in the first place?" Tyki replied with his smooth voice._

"_Who the fuck cares?" Lenalee burst, laughing as if delirious, "He's my goddamn friend, if I want to fucking visit him I will sure as fuck go visit his fucking room, got it hot shot?"_

_Tyki's eyes seemed ablaze with a fury even Allen wouldn't feel until much later in his life. But his lips were still curved in that everlasting smirk of his._

"_Please return to your room Miss Lee. We'll have a chat later."_

"_No."_

"_No?"_

"_Fuck you." Lenalee snapped, "I fucking said no! Are you fucking deaf too?" She screamed before spitting in his face._

_Before Tyki had enough time to open his mouth to speak, Lenalee tackled the man to the floor, kicking the other man who had come to "have some fun" with Allen square in the face, knocking him out cold on the floor._

"_RUN ALLEN. RUN." She shrieked like an insane witch from the fairytales his stupid foster parents used to read him in attempt to get him to sleep faster._

_Allen wasted no time in bolting for the steel door, one that had kept him captive for so long like some…like some zoo animal._

_He turned around on last time to see Lenalee's beautiful long hair being fisted by Tyki, her anguished shrieks filling the air as he pulled it once, then another time—hard._

"_Why you ungrateful little whore!" _

"_RUNNN. RUN ALLEN!" she screamed before screaming and sobbing a whole lot of incoherent stuff that Allen couldn't understand._

_Allen indeed ran. He ran until he couldn't run anymore. He barely had on any clothes. He had on nothing but tattered old shorts secured to his small hips with an equally frayed piece of rope. He had no shoes, no shirt, not even a decent winter jacket for the cold._

_But it was better than staying. Anything was better than staying. Even death._

_Which Lenalee had inevitably faced._

_For Allen._

_The white haired boy pressed a curled index finger to his lips, his breath visible on the cold night breeze. He looked to the moon before closing his eyes, saying a quiet prayer for his fallen friend._

000

Allen's knees gave out on him as he fell into Lavi's chest. His face was pale; all the blood had drained from it. He was shaking uncontrollably, sobbing like a baby as he clung to Lavi, who held him tighter and tighter—the redhead refusing to look away from the television screen as Tyki laughed like a psycho maniac.

Allen's body curled into fetal position on the couch, his breathing ragged and his chest falling up and down at random intervals. Lavi soothed his back, whispering words encouraging him to let it all out, to cry until he couldn't cry anymore as he turned off the television.

"Allen, Allen. They said Tyki was in prison. He's in prison now. He's not on the streets anymore, Allen. Do you hear me? Do you hear me, Allen? He's gone. He's not coming back. They're going to keep him locked up forever or kill him on the spot. He's nothing, nothing."

Allen nodded feebly, whimpering and hugging Lavi closer, his pale hands trembling as they combed through the red hair once more.

An hour after the television had been turned off, the sobs and anguished cries had died down into sniffles, hiccups, and shaky shudders as his bony ribcage fluttered and shook under Lavi.

"He's gone Allen. He's gone for good."

_I didn't mean to leave them behind, Lavi._

"I'm never letting you go, do you hear me?"

_I didn't want to…but Lenalee told me to…_

"Shhh…shhhh…I'm never letting you go…ever again."

_She told me to…_

"I love you, Allen. I love you so much. He's never going to touch you again."

_I love you too, Lavi…please don't ever leave me._

"I'm never leaving you again. He's gone. I promise, Allen. He'll be brought to justice. I love you. I love you, Allen. Those days…those days are gone. You're with me now. You're with me. Shhhh…"

"With you…" Allen wheezed, trying his best to put the smallest smile on his face—barely there, but there nonetheless.

Lavi smiled sympathetically.

"Yes…with me. Forever."

"Forever?"

"Yes…forever. Longer than that."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

**000**

**SUCH A CHEERY CHAPTER IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS, NO? :DD **

**But hey, Tyki's been imprisoned and faces life in prison or the death penalty.**

**Poor Lenalee…**

**Sorry, but this chapter had to be included before the two reach their final freedom. I know that I said I'd lay off the angst, but the life of a prostitute (even an ex-prostitute) is precisely that. I tried, I really did. But when I started writing, I realized just how serious Allen's conditions were and just how grotesquely common these crimes are. All of these crimes have occurred to prostitutes and even homeless people on the streets. They're real crimes that happened to real people. It sickens me.**

**I estimate that "Love Me" will end at chapter…45-50 ish. Don't worry, I promise that the outcome won't be nearly as morbid or angsty as these past chapters have been.**

**Loved it? HATED IT? ARE YOU DISGUSTED WITH ME? Tell me all about it in a review. Just not too harsh please. I still spent lots of hard work and time on this.**

**Reviews are always a nice Christmas gift. I love them all!**

**Oh! AND PLEASE GO VOTE IN MY LATEST POLL. IT INTERESTS ME A LOT AND I NEED YOUR INPUT. :D**


	41. Commence

**BBS here with one last update for the month! I know, I know, I can just HEAR you guys complaining "A MONTH? WHAAATTTT NOWAIII." **

**BUT let me explain: Final Exam/Test week is coming up at my school and I won't be able to update because, quite obviously, I will use that time to study and TOTALLY OWN MY FINAL EXAMINATIONS.**

**So enjoy! And review after to give me magical good luck and awesome feedback!**

**000**

It had been nearly a month since the news of Tyki Mikk had broken through the media. The Mikk trials were notorious amongst the public and everyone seemed to be buzzing about the psychotic yet alluring killer. There were a total of 13 trials, one for each of the victims Tyki had mentioned on the news reel.

Then there was a special 14th trial for Allen—the sole survivor of such infamous incidents.

After weeks of filing paper work, having to go to interviews, speaking at press releases and appearing in court—the day came when Allen had finally arrived in court to take to the witness stand.

Lavi had taken a special day off of work to be present for emotional support. The two were in his car, driving to the courthouse where Allen would meet the person who had ruined his life more than once.

"Don't worry, Allen. They understand what we're going through."

"Lavi, you could lose your job by taking so many days off!"

"Allen, this is much more important."

"But you're not supposed to be this involved. I'm putting you through so much…"

The car stopped abruptly, veering toward the sidewalk to park for a few minutes.

Allen shrieked, covering his face in terror.

"L-Lavi!"

He glanced over at the redhead, who was staring straight ahead at the windshield with a stern look on his face, and was frightened that he'd be angry and throw him out into the streets then and there. Not that that wasn't a bad thing to do considering how much crap he had to put up with on account of Allen…but Allen hoped that he wouldn't do such a thing.

Allen's breath caught in his throat when Lavi turned to him with the same look before his emerald eye softened at the sight of his beloved.

"Allen. I am yours. You are mine. That gives me every right to be this involved."

Allen gaped; speechless as his bit his lip while trying to think of something to say that hopefully wouldn't further anger his lover.

"But your job…" he whispered.

"I could always get another job if they let me go, but what's most important is that they _won't_. They are only famous because I'm the only photographer the company has. They'll bring in guest photographers, but do you honestly think that they'd get anywhere if I were to leave?"

"I…no." Allen corrected himself.

"Allen…" Lavi's voice grew tender and caring, "If it bothered me so much, I wouldn't have done anything. But I care about you. A lot. And I'll stand by whatever you do."

Allen flinched a little when Lavi put a hand on his cheek, holding it in place as he leaned toward him for a kiss. Allen's doubt seemed to melt from him as their lips touched in such a chaste and untainted manner. His hand reached up to comb through unruly crimson locks, silently thanking him for everything he'd ever done for him.

Lavi pulled away far too soon for Allen's taste—the boy lurching forward from the growing passion, causing his seatbelt to lock in place, violently tugging him back into his seat.

The two were silent before Lavi broke out into a fit of laughter. Allen's face turned a bright red with indignity, trying so hard to be angry at Lavi for making a mockery of him.

But he couldn't bring himself to ever hate Lavi. Not even mildly dislike.

Because Lavi was Allen's and Allen was Lavi's. He had said so himself. Just replaying the moment he had said that brought a fresh pump of heat to his face.

Lavi restarted the engine, the two continuing on their way to the courthouse.

Allen's palms started to feel sweaty as he nervously wiped them on his newly pressed pants (his suit was courtesy of Lavi, despite his own avid protests).

Not missing a beat, Lavi turned toward Allen again, giving his body a quick look over before saying, "You know, you look really cute in that little suit of yours. If I weren't driving, I'd—."

"Lavi! Eyes on the r-road!" Allen stammered, his hands anxiously adjusting his tie.

Okay, so maybe Allen wasn't so worried about Lavi crashing as much as he was about having a boner in the middle of the trial.

"Got it, hot stuff." Lavi smirked knowingly as he turned back to face straight ahead in time to slow down for a red light.

Allen sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He could feel his heart racing faster and faster as they approached the courthouse.

It was finally the day for justice.

Hopefully.

000

"Allen, Allen you're going to be fine."

"H-He's going to be in there…" Allen burrowed his face deeper into Lavi's suit jacket, his fingers gripping tightly to the lapels.

"Not for long he isn't, they're going to drag his sorry ass into federal prison in a few hours. _Forever_." Lavi breathed, calmly stroking Allen's feather-soft ivory tresses.

"I-I know…I know…But—"

"But nothing, Allen. I'll be in there. There will be a few dozen people in there. There will be law enforcement in there. There is maximum security. You don't expect them to let him have free reign of the courthouse, do you? Everyone inside that room is on your side."

"I'm so embarrassed…"

Lavi's eyes grew sadder as he realized just how many ways that could've been meant.

"What is there to be embarrassed about?"

"Everything…what he's done to me…what _I've_ done to me."

"Allen, you stop that right now. Just stop it. They're not in there to judge you. That's what Tyki is there for."

Allen stood quietly and pulled away from Lavi's embrace, nodding and trying desperately to wipe the tears off of his face. Great. Now he'd look all blotchy and gross for the court and the media.

"Yeah…I understa—."

He was immediately pulled right back into Lavi's arms, his eyes widening and his hands defensively gripping Lavi's forearms as if he were about to fall. Allen soon relaxed into the hug, the warmth of their bodies enveloping him in a comforting manner.

"You'll be alright. I'll be right there for you. I love you. I love you so much." Lavi murmured into Allen's ear, rubbing his back through the most adorable crisp suit that he'd bought for Allen.

"I love you too…" Allen rasped, hugging Lavi a bit tighter before they parted again.

Allen smiled, wiping away the last of his tears. Lavi couldn't help admiring how cute Allen was in that suit. He always knew he had good fashion sense.

"This suit makes me feel so weird."

"I think it's charming." Lavi smirked, crossing his arms and giving Allen another once-over.

"L-Lavi!" Allen laughed, feeling the slightest bit of violation.

He paused.

"Well, I suppose you don't look half bad either." The smaller boy smirked, crossing his own arms and giving Lavi and his suit the elevator look.

Lavi threw his head back a bit to laugh at Allen's come-hither look combined with the redness of his eyes from crying just minutes before. How precious.

Allen pouted, trying his best to be angry.

"It's not supposed to be funny!" _It was supposed to be sexy, you idiot._

"I know, I know." _You're so sexy when you look at me like that._

Their moment was soon ruined by a man who tapped before opening the door to the waiting room, signaling the start of the trial. The man left before them through the door to lead the way—Lavi quickly giving Allen a kiss before they left hand in hand with their fingers interlaced.

The smaller one was shaking and other, larger one was supporting it.

000

**LET THE TRIAL COMMENCE! :D**

**Thanks for reading guys. I hope I didn't take too long. :/ Feel lucky! I wasn't going to update because it's finals week at school soon and I really need to get A's in all my classes. BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS. SO I WAS LIKE "B'AWWW WHY NOT" and wrote this.**

**I know it's not a HUGE chunk of the story, but hey—it's an update isn't it? I probably won't update until the end of January/start of February…**

**But I will continue to respond to reviews and messages you guys send me!**

**So please do so, it's a giant stress reliever to smile at your feedback.**

**WISH ME LUCK :DD CHEERS!**


	42. Proceed

**BBS IS BACK! FINALS ARE OVER. WOOT. THIS CALLS FOR AN UPDATE!**

**See? Now was that so bad? Thank you so much for waiting for me. I really do appreciate your patience. **

**Also, please note that I pretty much made up most of the mechanics of the following court proceedings from what I imagined to be a proper jury. This isn't meant to be entirely accurate so I apologize for the inevitable mistakes that will come up.**

**Thanks again guys, now off to read!**

**000**

"It was only afterwards that my client realized, in his _proper_ state of mind, that he had done something morally wrong. Thus bringing me to my conclusion that my client Tyki Mikk, your honor—should not be jailed like a common murderer, but sent to a mental treatment center to recover from his terrible sense of judgment and moral filter."

Allen felt like he was about to implode. Admittedly, Tyki was pretty insane, but it wasn't just insanity, he was just a psychopath by nature! Everything that lawyer was saying was false!

"And you, Mr. Walker—is it not true that you were given your own rooms?"

"I-I could hardly call them rooms, they were more like—."

"Your honor, do you not believe that with such compassion as to give his so called 'prisoners' their own personal space, he had some level of humanity in him?"

"I—that's not t-tr—." Allen stammered.

"Please Mr. Walker; I believe you are done answering questions for the meantime."

Allen bit back tears as the man continued to spit lie after lie to the courtroom.

Even as his eyes locked with indignant and firm green ones, Allen didn't feel any comfort. He stared at Lavi with pleading eyes, begging to leave and forget anything had ever happened. He was so embarrassed…so so embarrassed…

But immediately after, his eyes had instead been pierced by flickering amber ones. Allen froze stiff in his seat on the witness stand, his collar felt like it was choking him and everything grew colder.

A smirk.

Allen averted his eyes to the floor before closing them tightly, trying to erase that smirk from his memory and replace it with Lavi's warm and accepting smile. Oh, how Allen just wanted to go home and have Lavi's arms around him…somewhere he didn't feel so naked…so exposed.

"You see, your honor, though I realize that my client has 'confessed' on camera, we have reason to believe that he was coerced into admitting and pleading guilty for the simple reason of a descript courthouse bribe."

"Objection!" Allen's lawyer stood.

The judge nodded.

"Your honor, please allow me to elaborate on Mr. Mikk's confession. If it was, indeed, a coercion, why, may I ask the jury, was Mr. Mikk so _eager_ as to name, list, and describe each person and murder in full detail even _after_ it has been made clear that the interrogator had asked him to stop on _multiple_ occasions? Even _after_ Allen had escaped, it has been confirmed that Tyki had been regularly following him, raping him on multiple occasions."

"Your honor, I obje—." The other lawyer was quick to retort.

"Overruled. Now, Mr. Walker, please describe to the court what happened during your experience with Mr. Mikk."

Allen released a breath he didn't realize he was holding to nod shakily.

"I…well. I was friends with L-Lenalee and Kanda. We had cells, n-not rooms," Allen warily glanced at the lying lawyer before resuming, "I was ch-chained to the wall so I couldn't…so I couldn't leave. Every night, strange men would—they would come to my room and…and…"

"Yes?" the judge raised an eyebrow.

"They'd…"

"They'd rape him." finished his lawyer, saying what Allen could not say.

"Allen, is this true?"

Allen felt rage begin to bubble up in him. He was being treated like a small child by a judge and a courtroom full of people that knew full well what he had been through. Why did he have to retell everything to them? Why couldn't they just take…take him away already? Why was he still here? Why was Tyki still alive?

"Yes." He rasped.

"Hm. Continue."

"I had a weird…a weird disease…but Lenalee said that luckily it was one that went away with time, unlike the one she had." Allen felt power flow through his veins. Angry power as he remembered how he'd seen Tyki abuse her—a lady. He would redeem himself as well as all 13 other people that had to suffer with him.

His friends.

Allen's hands clenched into fists on his lap as he continued, a little louder.

"She had a terrible disease that made her seem much older than she was. She wasn't allowed to sleep because she always had men coming into her room. I wouldn't be able to sleep either because her cell was next to mine. I could always hear her screaming…When I esc—when I escaped, it was because of her. Lenalee let me leave without her and the others because she said I was the only one with hope left. The last time I saw her was when Tyki pulled her hair and beat her to the ground."

Allen paused to see if he was still allowed to speak. No one was saying anything, so he continued.

"Tyki would always find ways to punish us. He'd starve us if we didn't bring in enough people and beat us if the dirty men that came to us complained to him. He would go into Lenalee's room and…and I'd hear her scream again. And when he finally visited me in mine, I learned why she'd screamed so hard."

Allen's voice began to waver, cracking and breaking as he searched his mind for buried memories he'd learned to suppress so long ago…

The room was silent until the judge nodded and everything began once more, with Allen's lawyer explaining why it was imperative that they jail the murderous fiend and then the other lawyer requesting to ask Allen a few questions.

"Mr. Walker, did you actually _see_ Mr. Mikk murder those people?"

"They were my friends."

"…_right_. Did you _see_ him murder them?"

"Well, no—I didn—."

"Is it true that you have recently been found to have taken up _illegal_ prostitution?"

"I-I didn't know any other way of li—."

"Is it true that you once accepted Mr. Mikk as your own personal client, on your own accord and free will?"

"I was so f-frightened that I couldn't just—."

"MR. WALKER. I don't believe you're answering any of my questions. Please do well to answer clearly for the courtroom."

Allen's eyes began to water as he bit his lip and nodded.

"Objection, your honor, he is harassing my clie—." Allen's lawyer was silenced by the judge, whom in turn allowed Tyki's lawyer to finish his thought.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you have not denied being a lowly, illegal prostitute who _lured_ my mentally unstable client into copulating with you in exchange for his hard-earned money as a man with a _legal_ job."

Allen couldn't stop his tears from dropping onto his cheeks. The lawyer was a liar! Why couldn't anyone else see that? Tyki was anything _but_ a victim, why was he making him seem like one?

And was he really just a dirty prostitute to everyone in the room? Couldn't they see that he had no other choice? He didn't know how else to make a living without an education which he couldn't receive for fear of mockery and lack of funding.

The white haired boy's lawyer spoke up for him, "Your honor, he is harassing my client—this is not an interrogation room. This is a court of law. He is also twisting facts to suit his own needs. The bottom line is that Tyki Mikk murdered 13 people, barely leaving a 14th alive. This man needs to be put in jail this instant or the public will also be in danger of—."

"Your honor, may I finish?" Tyki's lawyer responded, clearly irked by the interruption.

"You may."

"Thank you. Now, Mr. Walker," he turned back to the shaking boy.

"Your friend…Rin-lee—."

"Lenalee…" Allen mumbled.

"Pardon?"

"Her name is Lenalee." Allen spoke louder, his voice growing progressively angrier.

"Ah, well either way, Rin-lee was also speculated to—."

"Lenalee! HER NAME IS LENALEE." Allen shouted furiously.

"HER NAME IS LENALEE. SHE WAS MY FRIEND. SHE WAS RAPED ON MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS BY TYKI AND VARIOUS STRANGERS AND WAS BRUTALLY MURDERED BY THIS MAN. WHY DON'T YOU ASK TYKI ABOUT THAT? ASK HIM ABOUT HOW HE MURDERED HER. HE DID IT. EVERYONE KNOWS IT."

"Why, Mr. Walker, I'd appreciate it if you'd just calm down a li—."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Allen snapped, "You're a dirty liar and it's becoming blatantly obvious. People of the court, please hear me." Allen's voice cracked multiple times, but he no longer cared. He was doing this for his friends…his only friends…

His dead friends.

"That man is no victim. I've known him for more than half my life. I wasn't a prostitute because I thought it was fun, or because I'm crazy. I did it because it was the only thing he taught me to do—sell my body and earn profit from it. It was all I was exposed to. I couldn't receive an education without a guardian or any funding. Who would I go to for that? Back to the man who brutally raped and abused me? I had no choice! He has already admitted on camera to the murders of the only friends I'd ever known. How dare you," Allen glared whole heartedly at the lawyer, "How dare you think I had any other choice but to do what I had to do to survive?"

The jury was stunned into silence as well as everyone else in the courtroom. It was silent for a few moments as Allen's chest heaved to catch his breath before the judge cleared his throat and turned to Tyki.

"Please take the stand if you will Mr. Mikk, I believe you are to be questioned as well."

Tyki smirked as he stood in a suit of his own, his eyes glinting at Allen with a look of amusement that made the boy sick to his stomach…

But he paused before taking the stand, turning around to face the jury.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I'd just like to say that as jittery as this little boy here is," He winked at a nauseous Allen,

"He is one hundred percent correct."

A unanimous gasp resounded throughout the room, everyone so shocked that no one saw Tyki walk closer to a fidgety Allen as they all whispered to one another. Lavi's teeth clenched together as he got ready to lunge at the man approaching his lover. A low growl escaped him as he watched Allen grow more and more tense.

Allen tried his best to stay strong while his insides twisted and turned and his lungs refused to function. Even as Tyki traced his jaw line with a cold finger, staring into his eyes as gold met silver and smirking that goddamned smirk Allen hated so much.

"You are mine, you will always be my little play toy, and that's all you'll ever be, you sick son of a bitch. Oh, and your Lenalee was awfully compliant as I took her for the last time. She was such a nice little pet…didn't reject me even as I injected her with cyanide. Not anything like you, you lowly whore, you pitiful poor prostitute."

Allen's rage grew with every rapidly whispered word.

"Just remember this—."

**SMACK**

"I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER." Allen screamed as Tyki's head snapped to the side with the force of the slap that hit him.

The security guards were already tugging him away by the arms—his gold eyes wide with shock as they carted him away. The jury began to erupt with whispers and gasps before the authoritative beat of the judge's gavel on hard wood restored order, the only sound remaining being the quiet sobs of the white haired boy at the witness stand.

"I believe we have seen enough for today."

"Objection your honor, my client, as you can see isn't mentally stable to this very moment. The audience has made him distraught—."

"Overruled. Please see your way out. The jury will now deliberate." The gavel was struck three times to dismiss the jury.

The judge then turned to Allen, leaning in and whispering, "I heard what he said. The jury will have decided within an hour or two. Meanwhile, feel free to go out and get some fresh air before returning. I know this is tough, but I promise it will be over soon."

Allen nodded and smiled weakly at the judge, thankful that he understood.

"Thank you, your honor."

The jury had filed out and Tyki had been restrained and dragged out by security—his lawyer pinching the bridge of his nose and trailing after him.

"I'll give Lavi a call when they've finished deciding. Go get some air, Allen." Allen's lawyer placed a hand on his shivering shoulders before he too, walked away.

"We'll continue in a bit. Thank you for your cooperation." The judge called behind him as he took his notes and headed to his office to await deliberation, the doors making a small shutting sound.

Allen drew his knees to his chest, sniffling into them quietly and trying to regain his composure and breath. He probably looked ridiculous curled up in a chair in fetal position, but it was all Allen felt like doing at the moment.

He couldn't believe he'd been so mean and rude to the lawyer…but that man was being unreasonable. But he certainly didn't regret what he'd done to Tyki. In fact, a wave of refreshment had washed over him when he'd done what he'd always wanted to do to Tyki—to slap him and tell him no. It was as shocking as it was liberating. He just hoped that the jury would understand why he did such a thing.

Allen visibly jolted when he felt a hand on his shoulder again. He wiped his eyes quickly with his tie before hugging his knees closer and looking up—

to receive a kiss.

A loving, longing, apologetic kiss. A kiss that tasted of sunsets and falling snow.

Allen didn't even have to keep his eyes open to know it was the one he loved most. His fingers tangled into familiar red hair, his tears beginning again (despite his inner protesting against being so weak) as he brought Lavi closer and closer to him, wrapping his arms around his neck and never wanting to let go.

Lavi's arms snaked around his waist in turn, helping him stand without breaking the kiss and pulling him into the tightest hug he could muster. Allen's body never seemed this fragile and weak since he'd first left him in his hotel room for the last time in his life. It was as if he were the only thing keeping Allen from shattering both internally and externally. Not that he minded.

Allen felt a wave of comfort wash over him as he was brought into the welcoming warmth of Lavi's body, wishing he could bottle it up and carry it everywhere with him. He breathed in the familiar musky scent before pulling away and sighing.

With a small hiccup.

The redhead chuckled before placing a feather-light kiss on Allen's cheek.

Allen smiled sadly, pressing closer into Lavi's arms and burying his face into his sturdy chest.

"Never let me go."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

**000**

**Court proceeding chapters are almost over! I believe the Tyki Mikk fiasco will be resolved in 2 chapters, or perhaps even less if I'm in a super write-y mood. I also change my prediction of the story's lifespan to about…50-ish chapters.**

**Thanks again for your patience and awesome reviews. They were spectacular and kept me from having a mental meltdown during finals week.**

**Please vote on my latest poll! And if you're thinking about favoriting/alerting this, please leave a review as well. It's not a great feeling to know that people read your work but don't care enough to give you feedback on it.**

**Let me know your thoughts on this! I missed you guys and always love to hear from you :D**


	43. Liberation

**BBS is back! Sorry for the delay guys, it seems as if I'm always a step behind on everything. *FAILS AT LIFE*. I was single and alone for this past Valentine's Day and not to mention SICK OUT OF MY MIND. I'm still sniffling and coughing up my lungs as I type. But it's all for you guys~**

**Well anyway, I hope you enjoy this itty bitty chapter in return for your patience. Thanks guys!**

**000**

The waiting room was silent as Allen and Lavi sat next to each other—wordless.

One more hour.

The drip-drop of the porcelain sink inside the men's bathroom echoed as Allen washed his hands.

45 more minutes.

The waiting room was once more silent as Allen nervously played with his tie.

42 more minutes.

The small tap of Lavi's hand as it held Allen's, keeping it from playing with his tie too much seemed to be hollow.

36 minutes.

The clock began to become obnoxiously loud as each tick resounded into each tock.

32 minutes.

Allen's hand relaxed in Lavi's.

30 minutes.

Lavi's hand cradled the smaller one he held, his thumb pensively stroking Allen's.

25 minutes.

The drip-drop of the porcelain sink inside the men's bathroom echoed as Allen washed his hands. Again.

19 minutes.

The clock began to become obnoxiously loud as each tick resounded into each tock.

18 minutes.

The waiting room was silent as Allen and Lavi sat next to each other—wordless.

15 minutes.

The waiting room was silent as Allen nervously played with his tie.

13 minutes.

The small tap of Lavi's hand as it held Allen's, keeping it from playing with his tie too much seemed to be hollow.

11 minutes.

Lavi's hand cradled the smaller one he held, his thumb pensively stroking Allen's.

10 minutes.

The clock began to become obnoxiously loud as each tick resounded into each tock.

8 minutes.

Allen tensed when he felt Lavi's hand caressing his back, but relaxed when he realized who it was.

6 minutes.

His eyes felt so heavy, but he knew that he needed to be awake for this. He had been waiting for this day. And now…it was finally here.

5 minutes, 42 seconds.

The door clicked open as a man in glasses and a suit poked his head into the waiting room.

5 minutes, 32 seconds.

"The jury has completed its deliberation. You may proceed to the courtroom."

4 minutes, 57 seconds.

Their footsteps were heavy, slowly synchronizing as Lavi's arm found its way around Allen's shoulders.

3 minutes, 54 seconds.

The courtroom was dead silent as people began to trickle through the doors.

2 minutes, 39 seconds.

The head juror stood before the jury and the courtroom, nodding at the judge who nodded back.

1 minute and 46 seconds.

"The votes of the jury were unanimous."

56 seconds.

"Your honor, the defendant has been found,"

25 seconds.

The courtroom seemed to lean in unanimously as they waited for the word everyone had been waiting for.

8 seconds.

4 seconds.

"Guilty of all charges."

Allen promptly burst into tears against Lavi's jacket lapels, his knees giving out from under him as they bent under him. Lavi's strong arms were thankfully enough to keep him half-standing. A large grin was plastered on the redhead's face as the courtroom and its spectators began to stand and clap. Cameras flashed and the buzz of people waiting outside the courtroom for the news could be heard through the double mahogany doors. Allen tried his best to muffle his sobs and pitiful squeaks in Lavi's jacket as he clutched him closer and closer, Lavi holding him tighter and tighter in return.

"We did it, Allen. _You_ did it."

Tyki sat in his witness stand's chair, his orange jail suit already worn and his hair just as tattered. He looked surprisingly blank as if in shock as he looked out into the courtroom.

"Tyki Mikk, you have been found guilty of 13 accounts of first degree murder, 14 accounts of rape, 14 accounts of sexual assault and battery, 14 accounts of human trafficking,"

"And one account of attempted murder."

Allen froze at the idea that he was the only one that survived. True, he knew this already…but to have someone else tell him that he was the only one left out of Lenalee, Kanda, Daisya, and everyone else…was terrifying.

"By law, on this 14th of April, Tyki Mikk has been held guilty and accountable to these crimes and thus,"

Allen held his breath.

"Has been sentenced to 150 years, or life in prison."

The spectators roared louder as they clapped and rejoiced to one another—some murmuring and shaking their heads for the death penalty seemed a much more formidable decision.

Allen felt as if a steel collar had been lifted from around his neck, catching a glimpse of a pathetically sitting Tyki Mikk who had been stunned into silence and a blank expression. No smirk, no spark. Just blank.

This was it. Allen had avenged himself and his friends. His humanity had been validated. He wasn't a pet, a lowly prostitute, a common whore.

Today, he was Allen.

Security guards ran to Tyki's witness stand, surrounding him.

Today, Allen was whoever he wanted to be.

"You're under arrest…"

Today, Allen was with whoever he wanted to be with.

Handcuffs locked in place as Tyki was forced to stand and was led to prison—a place where he would stay for the rest of his life—the rest of Allen's life.

Today, Allen was with Lavi.

The crowd cheered as the doors were opened and people began to exit the courtroom with the final echoes of the judge's gavel hitting hard against the wood of his podium once, twice, three times.

"Court dismissed."

"Lavi…" Allen sobbed, "Lavi…"he slowly slipped from Lavi's grasp and was now on his knees.

"I'm here, I'm here." Lavi smiled down at Allen, prying his face from his jacket and leaning down to press a searing kiss to Allen's trembling lips. They had won.

Today, they had won.

**000**

**THEY WOOOONNNN. They are such winners. Unlike me, because I'm a loser that sucks at updating. But it's cool because THEY'RE WINNARZ. :D**

**I think there will be one more chapter revolving around these Mikk trials, and then—I'll work on wrapping everything up to a close. **

**Thanks for reading! Please be kind enough to leave a review, it would so make up for my crappy Valentine's Day/week.**


	44. Surprise

**BBS. RECOVERING FROM WRITER'S BLOCK. ASDGJKSGALFSA. IT'S ALMOST UNFAIR HOW MUCH I'VE KEPT YOU GUYS WAITING. HOLY CRAP I HATE IT TOO, TRUST ME. **

***sigh* Why is it so hard to write nowadays? I really do apologize for my tardiness. I personally hate people that take forever AND EVER AND EVER to update. So I tried to make it up to you guys with a nice, optimistic, fluffy chapter. Not to mention a nice, optimistic, fluffy chapter that's twice as long as normal chapters. **

**P.S: IS ALSO A GIANT BUTTHOLE BECAUSE IT DIDN'T LET ME UPLOAD THIS YESTERDAY. WHAT THE HECK. AUGH WWHYYYYYY.**

**EMBRACE THE FLUFF. EMBRACE IT.**

**000**

**2 months later…**

The sun began its brilliant mount above the horizon when its rays seeped through Allen's eyelids. They fluttered for a minute before he searched his surroundings—unmoving. After confirming that he had indeed woken up in Lavi's—_their_—apartment again, he let out a small yawn.

It had been quite a while since Allen moved in, almost a year in fact…but it was just a habit of his former times to wake up in a strange person's place or in an alley that he couldn't help but want to assure himself that he was safe the moment he woke up.

He lay still on the bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating his thoughts.

If it had been about a year since he moved in…that would mean that he had known Lavi for at least two and a half years now. A weak smile spread on Allen's face—two and a half wonderful, wonderful, years. Two and a half years that changed his life. Possibly even saved it.

He would've never gotten that rush of justice that day at the Mikk trials had he never met Lavi. Lavi was the one who always saved him, who always assured and comforted him, and Lavi was the one that began to file for court when Allen himself was too busy being frightened to do so.

What had he done to deserve him? What part of being a lowly orphaned whore became equivalent to fiery red hair, piercing green eyes, and a smile that could last him an eternity?

To that, Allen sighed and turned his head to face said redhead in the bed next to him. His silver eyes drifted over the normally animated and sometimes worried face that was now placid and calm with sleep.

His red hair clung to his neck and his cheek, a bit wavier in the morning than it looked in the afternoon—Allen concluded. He liked it that way. It made Lavi look…vulnerable. It made someone who had kept Allen safe and guarded him from harm look…almost as vulnerable as he'd felt before he met Lavi.

Of course, there were still aspects such as the arches of his eyebrows and that blasted smirk that was always on his face even when he was unconscious that still gave him that aura of empowerment, laughing at the world even in his sleep. His eye patch was sitting on his nightstand; he only wore it in public or when he needed to work.

Lavi wasn't completely blind or scarred as a lot of people in the media seemed to assume. He was legally blind in his right eye, but he could still see moving shapes and silhouettes. It was just that it was imaginably harder and unbearably distracting for a person to see two different sides of the world at the same time—which caused him to obtain an eye patch.

Allen didn't mind it one bit. In fact, Lavi had a certain charm to him that could even make an amputated leg seem extremely appealing. Besides, Allen reasoned, it only took one of those emerald eyes to make his heart stop and breathing pause. Two of them would surely cause his heart to burst as they have only a few times.

Allen's eyes trailed to Lavi's steadily rising and falling chest. He was wearing a thin green t-shirt, his muscles toned and slightly visible under the fabric. The slight bulge of his biceps and the partially defined ripple around his abdominals made Allen feel weak and fragile in comparison—observing his own scrawny arms and horrifyingly small torso that could have passed as a woman's had he had breasts.

The birds began to twitter softly outside their window, conversing with one another through melody. Allen smiled again at the jovial sound, letting his eyes tiredly fall closed again when—

"What're you thinking about?"

"L-Lavi!"

"Oh, good." The redhead smirked, his eyes immediately livening up like a flame on a candle.

Allen wanted to shrivel up and die at the squeak he let out and the current position of his body; eyes electrified open, arms drawn up close to his chest which was caging a raging fire in his lungs and heart, and legs buckled and bent in awkwardly toward each other—threatening to melt into fetal position.

Lavi had to hide a laugh in a cough as he stayed suspended over Allen, having rolled over when he heard a rustle in the sheets. His arms were on either side of Allen's shoulders, his face in close proximity to the other's. He made sure to keep his body from touching Allen's so he didn't crush the poor thing under him.

"I didn't—I didn't mean I was thinking about you! I…okay I was just a little," Allen digressed, "but you didn't have to go off—g-go off scaring me in the morning like that!"

"Sorry pal, thought you'd be used to it by now," hummed a content redhead as he pecked Allen's forehead and nuzzled his nose into his swan-like neck, subsequently causing the latter to squirm.

"I have a surprise for you today." Lavi went on.

"…what is it?"

"Now, Allen, Allen! Surprises are meant to be secrets, you should know that!"

"Yes, Lavi, I know," Allen huffed before biting his lip and widening his eyes, "but I think you could make an exception for _me_, right?"

The smaller of the two enforced his plea with a flicker of his eyelashes and flash of his silver eyes that should've been considered deadly weapons, damnit! This caused Lavi to gape at Allen for a second before reverting back to a sly smile.

"Nope!"

"Lavi!" Allen pouted.

"Nope!" Lavi began to laugh, his crimson hair falling in unmanageable locks around his face.

"Fine, then at least tell me _when_ it's going to happen." Allen compromised, reaching up to play with the strands of scarlet, marveling in its silky smoothness between his fingers.

Lavi shrugged with a nervous laugh—he was a bit ticklish, admittedly. Just a little bit. Okay, perhaps a little more than a "bit". But only on his neck.

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten you were ticklish here." Allen smirked as he brushed the tips of his fingers across the same spot.

Damn, Lavi had hoped that he would've forgotten about that!

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are!" Allen chirped, continuing to massage the part of his neck with fleeting fingertips.

Lavi shrugged again, his right eye closing in a ticklish weakness.

"Okay, okay maybe I am, now stop that or I'll fall on top of you!" Lavi burst into laughter, swatting away Allen's fingers quickly before assuming his previous position over the gleaming boy.

"Not a chance!" Allen began his relentless routine of tickling the distracted redhead.

"Hey, hey, stop that!" Lavi's voice was slightly elevated due to his ticklishness.

And even at _that_ pitch, it was lower than Allen's. He wanted to scowl at the observation.

While struggling to flee from Allen, the redhead had misplaced a step, causing him to land directly on top of Allen. The two let out an airless wheeze—both breathless. Lavi immediately lifted himself off of the smaller body on his hands and knees over Allen. Said person under him greeted his worried green eyes with a small flinch.

"Sorry. You…okay?" Lavi breathed, trying to catch his breath.

"It's…okay…I started…it." Allen replied between puffs of air.

The two stayed in silence, catching their breaths and staring into each other's eyes, mesmerized. Their lungs gradually grew less hungry for air and left the two in complete silence. Lavi leant in hesitantly, wondering if Allen had caught his breath yet.

At the same time, the two leaned in—Allen tilting up and Lavi tilting down to meet in the middle and let their lips lock in a lover's embrace.

Allen's cheeks heated up as their tongues met in the middle, intertwining and flickering at each other, tasting each other and humming contentedly. Lavi gently stroked the scar that decorated Allen's face so beautifully, letting his thumb feel the smooth and slowly heating skin of his lover.

The boy below him grunted softly in minor discomfort at having his ugly scar being touched, but he kept his petty self-loathing to himself and instead inhaled the intoxicating scent that Lavi always seemed to have trailing him. He moaned shyly when Lavi nipped at his lip, licking it in apology and playfully tracing his teeth.

Allen tried his best to hold his breath a second longer; he tried to stay in heaven a little longer—as long as he could. But after a few mere seconds, he was pressing his palms to the redhead's taut chest, silently signaling his growing discomfort.

Just in time, the alarm clock by the bed began to blare in obnoxious intervals. The redhead pulled away in a mutual gasp before slamming the "snooze" button.

"I believe that's our cue to get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"The surprise, of course. Come now Allen, I know my kisses are rather mind blowing, but do try and—."

The white headed boy began to sputter indignantly, any excuses to justify that he was in fact just curious were garbled into mindless, embarrassed ramblings.

Lavi rubbed their noses together amiably before rushing off into the nearby bathroom to begin his morning routine. Allen scowled at how pitiful his sputtering was but soon it dissolved into a small smile as he remembered how Lavi had kissed him so powerfully. First thing in the morning, too!

Just then, the redhead peeked out of the bathroom, "Oi, aren't you gonna get ready too?"

"Yeah, just a minute." Allen replied, standing to observe himself and his weakling body in the mirror.

But just as he began to internally criticize his girlish body and horrendous scar, a small smile flittered onto his lips and settled nicely.

**000**

Birds were singing outside even on such a hot day in August. The hush of the city in the morning had officially led into the bustling concrete jungle below as people and cars congested the streets.

Allen was having a hard time holding onto Lavi's hand as they weaved through the crowd of pedestrians to a tall skyscraper building with lots of window awaited them. They walked through the automatic doors, where Lavi was immediately greeted by his usual crowd of people. Before, there were always paparazzi in the mix—trying to pry information from him about Allen. But those had gone away with time.

"I still don't understand why you've brought me here." Allen mumbled as he continually let himself be dragged to an empty elevator.

"I told you, Allen. It's a surprise." was the redhead's only reply.

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one."

Allen couldn't help but feel the scowl melt on his face as Lavi pressed a kiss to his forehead. Damnit, that stupid Lavi always making him feel jittery.

Allen adored him for it.

When the elevator opened with a bright, "ding", Allen was immediately brought back to a familiar office space with large windows everywhere, a couch, and a prominent desk with a large black swivel chair. The whole feel of the room was modern, powerful, and sleek.

In front of the desk were around 10 people Allen had never seen before. Said boy turned to Lavi, a look of apprehension painting his face.

"Who are these people?" He whispered.

"They're here for you!"

Allen felt like running back for the elevator, going home, and jumping under the covers. For him? Why were they here? Were they lawyers? Persecutors? Journalists? Policemen? Investigators?

"Alrighty guys," Lavi began to speak to the group, "so this is Allen. Yes, yes he is my boyfriend so you all better back off before you start anything. But anyway, don't crowd him too much. Give him some space, and send him back down in about an hour or so, got it?"

The group nodded in agreement, all of them piercing Allen with their eyes. It made Allen want to shrivel up into nothing. Why were they looking at him like that? Why wasn't Lavi telling him anything?

"Lavi, what was you talking about?" he hissed under his breath, exasperated and embarrassed.

"Do you remember that time we met in that restaurant?"

"…yes."

"That time when you choked and I took a picture of you?"

"Yes…"

"Well Allen…remember that one time you told me that you wanted to be a model?"

"Yes, but Lavi that was—."

"Today's the day, baby."

Allen opened his mouth to speak. Then closed it. Then opened it again.

Then closed it.

…_what_?

"You heard me. This is your hair, makeup, and design squad. They're here to get you all dolled up for your debut photo shoot."

Allen pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So you're telling me—."

"Okay, well technically it's more of an audition to see if the agency wants you, but you have my vote, so I thought: Why the hell not?"

"L-Lavi…I don't know about this. I—."

"Nonsense, nonsense," Lavi waved his hand in dismissal, "You'll be terrific!"

The group in the office was already starting to quietly murmur ideas to each other and it made Allen feel even more out of the loop. Since when did this come out of the blue?

"Now I have to go work, but I'll be seeing you in an hour or so anyway, so I guess I'll see you then!"

"I…I suppose s—."

"Great! Have fun and loosen up Allen, today's your day. And guys? Don't scare him. He's new to the business. And for heaven's sakes stop looking at him like you're going to jump him!"

The incorrigible redhead sauntered to the elevator door and moved to press the button for the floor he wanted to go to. He waved one last time and flashed a smile and a quick thumbs up as the door closed.

Allen felt a growing sense of dread as he turned to face the group of people.

"I…I don't know what to say, I wasn't aware that this was going to h-happen…ha…ha."

Immediately the group began to smile and laugh at each other, nodding their heads and moving closer in a small huddle around Allen.

"Isn't he adorable? Look at him!"

"Oh his hair is just FANTASTIC!"

"Such exotic features."

"Look at his eyes!"

"Such a stunning figure!"

Allen could feel warmth seep into his cheeks—they were drowning him in compliments and he could barely stay afloat. He took a few nervous steps back as they closed in on him further.

_Damn it, Lavi…_

But he couldn't stop smiling and nodding in thanks at the people around him.

_I can't help but love you…_

**000**

**ASDGHK;LSAG THE FLUFF IS KILLING ME. But you gotta admit. They're so adorable together. **

**And life goes on after Tyki Mikk…HOORAY. **

**Thank you guys so much if you're still sticking with me. I really do appreciate your loyalty.**

**PLEASE REVIEW. FEED MY DYING BRAIN WITH YOUR GLORY.**


	45. Rise

**OMG YAY FAST UPDATE! :D Okay not FAST…but faster than usual. I'm slowly inching back into Laven and their relationship which explains the fluffiness as of late. THAT and I'm compensating from making you guys suffer for the past 328752385 chapters. **

**There is a FLASHBACK in this chapter, so just remember that whatever is **_**italicized**_** is a memory. It's also pretty angsty, so bewaaaareee. **

**I'M SUCH AN ANGST MAGNET. ASDGJKL;DSGAJKGDSA**

**000**

"Your cheekbones are just so lovely, Allen—I can't believe Lavi didn't bring you in sooner!"

"Aha…thank you."

"Hey Allen, do you prefer this shade or this shade?"

"G-Green? Why green?"

"It'll make your eyes stand out, honey. Now tell me which hue is better!"

"I suppose th-this one doesn't look too ba—."

"Perfect! Genius! Of course, thank you Allen. I'll be right back."

"So babe, wanna tell me how ya get your hair so smooth?"

"I just sh-shower..?"

"You're a funny one, aren't you darling? Ah well. Tilt your head this way for me."

"Hey you guys! We only have 15 more minutes before we have to send him down, so let's wrap it up!"

"Got it!" was the unanimous mumbled that rippled through the makeup room.

It was as stereotypical as Allen envisioned it: wide vanity mirror with light bulbs all around the perimeter, wearing a white robe and having people dote on him left and right.

As if he were important.

As if he were _human_.

He loved it.

**000**

"_Why d'ya always sit here when you don't even go here?" asked a small boy._

_Allen sighed, "Because I have nowhere else to go. Now go away."_

_His face was stern and bitter but he was trembling, oh so trembling inside. He didn't welcome this kind of human relation. This boy could grow up to become a monster, after all. _

_He could be the next person to beat him up._

_He could be the next person to pull his hair and shove his head in the dirt._

_He could be the next one to make fun of him in public._

_He could be Allen's next client. _

"_Well why don't you just go here then?"_

"_I…" Allen shook his head, "I can't afford it."_

_The boy's head cocked to the side, "Well why dontcha get your parents to pay for ya?"_

_Allen had to restrain himself from yelling at the incompetent little selfish brat of a boy that stood in front of him._

"_They're not my parents." He mumbled angrily under his breath._

"_Oh! So you're the foster kid they're talking about!"_

_Allen perked up a little, curious as to what he meant by "they"._

"_What…what do you mean?" he rasped._

_Honestly, he would've preferred if the blasted little boy would get away from him, but he had to know what others thought of him._

"_The school. They know you're here, y'know. They know your foster parents're a pair of assholes that don't have any money so they were thinkin' of lettin' you in here f'free."_

_Allen didn't know whether to feel saddened by that notion or ecstatic. He'd never know how his foster parents got through the legal adoption process. Once he got snared into that goddamn orphanage when he was doing so damn well, some incompetent couple had to go and adopt him. They couldn't even afford to send him to school! They just wanted a kid because they were getting older and perhaps couldn't have children on their own._

_Allen hated it. _

_Allen loathed them._

_Allen Walker is and always was nothing more than a pet._

_To everyone._

"_Go away." Allen murmured, shifting on his seat on the bleachers, burying his face deeper into his knees as he drew them closer to his chest._

"_S'whaddya wanna be when you grow up?"_

"_GO. AWAY." Allen yelled into his knees, his face growing hot with tears._

"_Quit bein'a dumbass. I asked you a question."_

"_I don't want to answer your question."_

"_An' why not?"_

_Allen sat still, hoping if he didn't talk; the boy would leave him alone._

_He didn't._

"_I wanna be a baseball player. Now you tell me what you wanna be. C'mon, I told you what I wanna be."_

"_I would like…be…m…" Allen mumbled into his knees between soft sniffles._

"_What? I can't hear ya, y'know."_

"_I would…mod…"_

"_I still can't hear ya."_

"_I WANT TO BE A MODEL, OKAY? GO AWAY."_

"_That's weird."_

_Allen didn't speak as the younger boy scampered off. _

**000**

_It was months later—Allen still came to the school near his foster house and sat on the bleachers with his face buried in his knees to watch and listen to the kids and pretend they were all his friends and he attended the school with them._

_He sat still and dreamed of flashing lights and paparazzi asking him questions about himself and how he got to be such a successful and beautiful model._

_Of course, he still had fleeting visions of his former guardian (the bastard that helped turn him in to the foster care facility) telling him how ugly his scar was. It was always enough for him to stop and come back into reality._

"_That's 'im!" A boy called out from a distance._

_Allen immediately recognized the infuriating tone as the younger boy from a few months ago._

"_Alright, you know what to do then." Another voice commanded._

_Allen began to tense. Should he run?_

"_Y'sure I hafta?"_

"_Yeah man, just do it."_

_Allen heard many other voices speak their approval and immediately grew frightened. _

_He stood from the bleacher he was sitting on (a seat near the edge on a middle-high height) and leapt from his seat, falling with a soft "thud" onto the wet grass on his feet (thankfully) and began to make a run for it._

"_Hey! Go get him, he's getting away!"_

"_Yeah! Get him!"_

_Allen could hear his heart pounding erratically in his chest as he ran faster and faster and—_

_He felt something pounce on his back, falling over with something heavy on top of him._

_It was the same boy…but he seemed to have grown a lot in the past months. He was taller than him now, and his muscles were significantly larger and more defined. _

_Allen's cheek was smeared with dirt as he tried to scramble to his feet, pitifully whimpering as his fingernails dug into the moist grass, like a captured antelope desperately trying it's best to writhe out of a lion's claws. _

_Said boy on top of him got up, flipping Allen around so he was face up and straddled him again. A position that felt all too perverted and familiar to a young Allen even at his age._

"_You're a freak, y'know that? A fuckin' fairy is what you are. Faggot."_

_Allen glared at the boy, his hands slowly clenching into fists at his sides._

"_You're a dirty faggot whore, aren'tcha? Sleepin' around with my pop like that, huh? Y'think that just because you have a shitty family you hafta tear mine apart?"_

_Wait, his father? Allen never really kept track of his clients…but his…he slept with that boy's—_

_Before anything could register in his mind, he felt a powerful punch to his cheek, snapping his head into the grass again and again._

_And again._

_I didn't mean to._

_And again._

_Oh god, make it stop. I didn't know…_

_Again._

_Again._

_Please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know!_

_Again._

_Someone help!_

_Again._

_Stop it, I'm sorry, stop it!_

_His lip was split open and he could feel the blood dripping down his chin as he tried his best not to break out into sobs in front of all the guys he used to watch on the field playing sports. _

_They seemed so kind and playful from far away…_

"_You're too ugly to be a model. Dirty faggot whore." came a whisper before the weight on his stomach was lifted._

_His attacker was greeted with high fives and praises for his sheer toughness and fearlessness._

_Allen slowly got to his feet, running in a broken stagger away from these horrible, horrible people. _

_Away from everyone. _

_Everyone._

**000**

"Allen? You okay, honey? You have to get going soon."

Allen snapped out of his blank staring at his reflection, quick to put on a smile and nod.

"Y-Yeah just distracted. I'm fine."

**000**

Lavi couldn't help but gape at the beautiful creature that nervously stepped out of the elevator doors.

Allen's white hair had been curled ever so slightly, giving him the faintest white waves with such volume that reminded Lavi of smooth, rich waves of cream. His eyes had small twinges of emerald green at the ends, making his silver eyes glimmer and his dainty eyelashes seem longer.

He was outfitted with a simple white v-neck t-shirt and gray skinny jeans that clung to his thin, long legs that seemed to extend forever. He had on a stylish scarf that was also emerald green and he just…he just looked so amazing that Lavi couldn't find anything to say to Allen, much less the fabulous design crew.

Allen's footing was a bit unsure and unstable, like a newborn fawn learning to walk. But he strode to Lavi's side quickly enough. He was relieved to see his lover again; he needed to be held.

Without much warning, Allen buried his face into Lavi's chest, biting back tears as he wished those arms would wrap tighter and tighter around him.

They did.

"You look stunning, Allen." The redhead whispered, combing his fingers through Allen's silky locks.

"Beautiful…" he breathed again with a smile, sensing the boy's distress.

After a minute of awkward silence as Lavi held Allen close, the photographer whispered to his lover again.

"But we have to get going, alright Allen? Now stand tall—you're going to ruin all of the crew's hard work!"

Allen paused before he pulled away hesitantly, nodding and struggling to keep the smile on his face intact.

"I'll tell you what; it was supposed to be another surprise, but I'm taking you out to dinner tonight. We'll have to have lunch here, but tonight we're going out and I promise it'll be a good time."

Lavi always knew exactly what to do and say.

Truth be told, they both hadn't had enough time to have a night to themselves anymore. Lavi was needed to stay later at the studio or come in earlier for some project they were working on, and Allen had recently been taking classes at a local education center (after ceaseless badgering about his educational potential, courtesy of Lavi) before he had to kindly request that he be tutored privately instead when his anxiety of being around so many people had begun to distract him from his studies.

A night out with Lavi sounded like a luxurious oasis in the middle of a desert.

Lavi clapped his hands and signaled for the hair and makeup crew to leave and call for the lighting and technical crew.

"Thank you all, I'll see you guys later."

The crew left with a rustle of "Bye Allen"s and "Bye Lavi"s. The two waved back to them as they left until they were left alone. It would only take a few minutes for the lighting crew to come in and begin setting up.

"Lavi, I can't do this." Allen whispered, his voice frightened and shaking.

The redhead's eyes widened in surprise and worry, "Allen, you've come so far for your dream…why not?"

"I'm…scared." He mumbled—his eyes downcast.

Lavi had to think back a bit before remembering what Allen had said that one day at the café about him wanting to be a model and not getting along with the other kids by where he used to hang out. Perhaps they made fun of him..?

Oh lord.

Lavi immediately drew the trembling body back into his arms, Allen trying his best to repress tears for the sake of the wonderful job the makeup crew had done. He at least wanted to make them happy by not ruining their hard work.

"Allen, you know I love you, right?"

A small squeak, "Yes."

"You know I think you're the most amazing person in the world."

"Yeah…"

"I love you so much, Allen. You have so much to do in life. You're a strong person and you can't let everyone from the past take away what you deserve in the future."

Allen was still in his arms, his hands clutching tighter at Lavi's shirt.

"…I know."

"I'm going to have the lighting crew set up and leave, so it's just the two of us, okay? No one else will matter. Just you and me."

"Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't you start crying, now. You'll ruin—."

"My makeup, I know." Allen laughed, delicately rubbing his eyes in a way that wouldn't ruin anything.

"I'm going to go grab my camera, okay? It's right over there, just give me a second." Lavi slowly let his arms slip from Allen's slim waist to leave and collect his camera, slowly withdrawing his eye patch from his back pocket.

"Lavi?" Allen called toward the retreating redhead.

"Hm?" Brilliant green eyes pierced through Allen's eyes that he almost choked on his own words.

"I…love you?" Allen almost hit himself for how unsure he sounded. Of course he loved Lavi! He was just nervous was all…

The redhead laughed heartily as he once more approached the beautiful petite figure that stood before him. He wrapped his arm around the shorter boy and guided him to the green screen where the photo-shoot would take place.

"I love you too; now let's take some pictures."

**000**

**Ahhh. Allen is becoming a cute little model. **

**Okay, he's stumbling his way through the finish line, but he's still getting there, folks.**

**Oh, and additional sorries for the angsty flashback. **

**I wanted to emphasize that Allen doesn't have low self esteem for nothing. It's not like he woke up one day deciding he'd be a wimp for the rest of his life. His entire life was a struggle and it will always follow him.**

**Ahh teenage hormones. How glorious.**

**Thanks for reading and thank you all for you amazing reviews. My brain was crammed with amazing glory and it made my heart flutter happily inside. I'm thankful for such wonderful reviewers.**

**THANKS YOU GUYSSS. ; U ;**


	46. Realize

**BLATANT FILLER UPDATE IS BLATANT. Dude. I'm so sorry guys. But this is basically a chunk of fluff to entertain you guys until I begin to update again. I felt bad for leaving you guys hangingggg. SO HERE YOU ARE.**

**000**

The two sat in his office as Lavi meandered through the pictures they had taken on the computer screen in a slideshow of Allen.

"D-Do you have to look at them like that?" The boy mumbled—his cheeks rosy.

"I'm just looking for the best ones to put in your portfolio, darling." Lavi replied without delay before continuing to ogle at every. Single. picture.

"These are so beautiful, Allen."

Lavi turned around to smile at the boy when he realized he was sitting on a couch on the other side of the room, trying to scowl as if it would take his blush away. He chuckled quietly to himself as he returned to the computer screen where each flash of a different picture would take his breath away again. Even the mistakes of Allen getting ready to sneeze, then the next shot of him laughing as they both had, were amazing. Lavi's eyes reflected the screen as picture by picture appeared on it.

Allen's every move was stunning. It was a given that there were outtakes, but even those held a strange light that made a smile stretch on his lips.

"Allen, come look at these."

"No," Allen shifted on his seat, "It's embarrassing."

"Allen," Lavi reprimanded as he stood from his seat and walked over to the blushing mess.

The redhead leant down to his eye level, opening his mouth to list reasons why Allen should come look at his photos when he heard something.

"Do I…do I look okay?" he murmured softly.

He felt a kiss pressed to his forehead.

"Come and see."

Before he could protest, he was lifted up into Lavi's arms and already being towed to the computer screen—plopping down onto the black leather swivel chair with an undignified "oof".

"Look at yourself."

Allen's hand slowly touched the mouse, scrolling through his pictures and occasionally stopping to gawk at a few where he looked…suitable.

Each picture flashed in and out of the screen of Allen and his downy pearl hair, his silver eyes piercing the camera lens with something even he couldn't detect in himself before.

He looked…happy. His eyes were shining with a light he never saw. He hated looking in mirrors for fear of attacking himself again on every single flaw he possessed. Yet here…he…

He couldn't find as many.

"This is my favorite." Came a voice behind him that could only be Lavi as another hand rested on top of his and moved the mouse to click on another frame.

The picture was of Allen laughing; his eyes sparkling and his face wrinkled ever so slightly as he laughed and looked up at a place above the camera—to the person behind it.

Allen felt a rush of embarrassment.

"Your eyes shine like this when you smile and I love it."

But he wasn't even looking at the camera.

"Your smile lightens up the entire shot."

His face was contorted in a strange way.

"Your bone structure captures light and shadows perfectly."

His ugly scar was rippled along his cheek where he smiled.

"Your makeup and scar bring such a vibrant touch to every frame. It's exotic."

Allen bit his lip. Okay…perhaps some of the things Lavi was saying had the potential to be true.

"Look at how your eyes are like mirrors but with so much more depth."

Maybe Lavi was right…

"Look at your shoulder and how its awkwardness adds to the feel."

Maybe…

"Your hair is blowing in just the right direction. It hugs your face just so."

Maybe he was what he saw.

Maybe the boy in the shot, laughing so freely and exuding such happiness…

…was him.

"Look at how beautiful you are. You look like this to me, always."

Maybe the boy in the shot was a new person from the one that had been sullied by mud, sweat, blood, and semen.

"You're a natural, hear me? I'm so glad I have you."

Lips pressed to the back of his neck, chastely—tenderly.

Maybe the boy in the shot was free to laugh and be happy…

With the person behind the camera that caused him to be so exuberant.

"Lavi…" he whispered as he turned around the face him, "I…that's me."

A small grin touched the redhead's lips.

"Yes…I want you to see what I see."

Their lips grew closer in proximity.

"…this is what I see."

No more words needed to be spoken.

Their lips collided with sweet sensations drawing them nearer, gently breathing in each other's scent.

_I want to see what you see, Lavi…I want to see it._

Allen's fingers curled into tenacious red locks of hair, dragging him closer when there was an obnoxious,

DING!

From the elevator doors.

The two quickly scrambled away from each other, Lavi pretending to look through more photos and Allen turning his face to the window, his face heated and his breath a haphazard panting.

"I brought lunch!" cried a chipper looking girl wearing a stylish pink dress and sleek black stilettos.

"Ch-Chomesuke! Ah, thanks." Lavi smiled as he took the plastic bag of food from the girl.

"We were just on our way down, haha. We were going to eat on the balcony."

Chomesuke looked at Lavi's overly wide smile and then caught a glance of Allen's reddened cheeks before a smirk flooded onto her face.

"Sure you were."

"Yeah, we were, actually." Lavi retorted playfully, "Right Allen?"

"Y-Yeah." Allen died a little inside after hearing his squeak of a reply.

"Alright, y'love birds. I'll see you later."

As the elevator doors closed once more, Allen groaned and buried his face in his hands. He was certainly not a very good "first impressions" type person anymore. At least with his old…job; he knew how to act around people.

There was a silence before Lavi laughed at Allen's suffering, placing the bag down on his desk and running over to scoop the boy from his chair.

"Lavi! Put me down!"

"We're going downstairs!"

"Not like this!"

With some leg maneuvers that were more reminiscent of his old "occupation", Allen managed to break free from Lavi's grasp, sensually sliding down his legs until he could stand by himself.

He struggled to regain his own composure before he smirked at the look on the redhead's face.

"Come on, Lovebird #2. I thought we were going downstairs?" Allen teased as he poked the "down" button on the elevator.

Lavi quickly followed suit, wrapping an arm around Allen's waist and using the other to hold the bag of food.

Allen decided that Lavi's smile had to be contagious.

He'd surely been infected.

**000**

**/dies.**

**I could've choked a dragon with that amount of fluff. BUT I promise that more plot is coming soon. I've finally got it all worked out in my head. I FINALLY KINDA KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING. :D**

**My exam is this coming Thursday (ahhhh!) and I should be studying, but THAT'S TOO BORING. ; n ;**

**So here I am with a filler and a pathetic plea for reviews because I need an excuse not to study and instead, bask in fluffy fanfictions and reviews. Oh, and eating ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.**

**By ice cream, I mean reviews. Just kidding, I mean ice cream.**

**And reviews. /HINT**


	47. Congratulations

**BBS here again with a slightly long chapter! :) Sorry for the wait, and sadly I can't promise I'll update soon. But I guess you guys can wait 2 more weeks? The reason being, I have final exams peppered all through this coming week and then I'll be out of school for the summer on June 9****th****! How awesome is that? Then updates will pick up speed and the ending will be revealed in no time.**

**Read on!**

**000**

For that time of year, a storm was awfully uncalled for. Beforehand, it had been sunny throughout the week, therefore making this all the more surprising.

Allen decided he hated gloomy nights.

In fact, the only good thing about it was the fact that Lavi was there to hold him and cuddle with him. But that wasn't the case that particular night. Even now, Lavi was still at his agency, hard at work to assemble portfolios for his models' upcoming fashion shoot in a European tour. He had stayed late for every miserable goddamn day this week!

It wasn't that Allen feared Lavi's level of faithfulness and fidelity. It was just the simple fact that Allen was inexplicably lonely. Being so used to having a bed-mate every single night just a few years ago, being in a bed alone was still a disappointing matter to him. Sure, not every bed-mate was…very worthy of sharing a bed with him, much less anyone else…but it was enough for Allen to feel secure.

How long had it been since Allen seduced anyone?

To be completely honest, he couldn't remember _anyone_ other than Lavi. He had begun to miss the fire that burned in his eyes and the triumph of having all eyes on him all the time. But he couldn't complain; ever since he met Lavi, his dangerous fire had been toned down to flickering flames. His promiscuity vanished as soon as those green eyes made contact with his.

But even still…Allen got a little lonely, too.

Even after taking a nice walk in the morning and enjoying a cup of coffee in a cozy café, Allen had felt as if something were missing. For hours he cleaned and cooked, baked, ate all of the previous meals he had made, watched the television, everything.

Still no Lavi.

Perhaps he should surprise him with something sexy..?

Probably not. The redhead was generally dead tired by the time he got home in the wee hours of the night. Allen would save such ideas for later days.

With a groan of frustration, Allen rolled off of the couch and flopped to the floor, lying as if ready to make a snow angel.

And without even realizing it, fell asleep.

**000**

The door clicked softly behind the redhead. His eyes widened and he started toward the body on the floor until he saw Allen's delicate chest rise and fall. He took a minute to recover from his minute cardiac arrest before locking the door and taking off his coat.

It was raining and gloomy outside, even at this hour.

These were the kind of days Lavi absolutely loved specifically because he could hold Allen close and keep warm with sweet embraces.

But seeing as the short stack was fast asleep, Lavi had no choice but to scoop him up like a bride and walk him down the proverbial aisle that was the hallway. Silver eyes opened just a crack, mumbling a disgruntled greeting before those lips—oh those _lips_—stretched into a lazy smile.

"G'morning L'vi."

"Shhh it's still night time. Go back to sleep."

"Mm'kay."

As easily as a child, Allen fell back asleep. Lavi pulled the covers over his sleeping lover before heading into the bathroom for a much needed steam shower.

Work had been busier than ever at this time. The redhead felt bad for having to abandon Allen for the sake of his work, but it was something he was obligated to do. The models at his agency were especially catty during this time of year, before the Europe tour.

_Women_, Lavi scoffed silently as he lathered shampoo into his hair.

He wouldn't deny that they were beautiful creatures…but he couldn't ever imagine being with one longer than necessary before shooting himself in the face. Why would he when he had Allen waiting for him at home? Those sweet gray eyes and easily flustered cheeks were enough to make Lavi stand in a daze for moments on end. And those _lips_. They drove him absolutely insa—

Lavi paused to curse quietly before turning the steaming hot water into freezing liquid ice.

He continued his cold shower, musing about his job—what he had forgotten to do that day that he would have to do the next day. And of course, he thought of Allen and how he could make up his extensive absences.

**000**

Allen's entire body shuddered and twitched, his eyes flying open with fright. His body shook for a brief moment before his eyes caught sight of Lavi's discarded clothes.

It was true—his nightmares still haunted him from time to time, but at least now it wasn't as bad enough for him as to make him fall directly into an emotional meltdown as soon as he awoke.

He steadied himself for a while, focusing on breathing normally again until he was completely fine. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair—wondering what had become of the man with hair as dark as night and eyes of amber like a jungle cat.

He was undoubtedly in a maximum security prison, but what of his mentality? Had he gone insane? Was he full of rage? Did he finally feel that ton of guilt and remorse fall on him?

The bathroom door opened and Allen's heart seized for a second before seeing a flash of red hair. Said redhead was not wearing anything but a towel around his waist—using a smaller towel to dry his hair. He didn't notice that Allen was awake at first, grabbing his pajamas from his closet and setting his eye patch down on his nightstand before his tired green eyes lit up.

"Awake again?"

"Mmm." Allen mumbled, his body curling in on itself in a way that made emerald eyes soften.

"I'll be right there, go back to sleep."

Allen's eyes were hazy with sleep; lazily trailing up and down Lavi's toned body.

"Mm'kay."

Lavi chuckled to himself before he walked back into the bathroom. He changed into a fresh pair of boxers and a loose cotton t-shirt.

He padded back out onto the carpet of the room, closing the bathroom door behind him and getting into bed, turning off the lamp on his nightstand. He smiled when a warm body rubbed against his, soft arms wrapping around his neck and a lithe leg possessively wrapping over his waist.

**000**

The dark and stormy night gave way into a surprisingly bright and sunny morning. It had been exactly two weeks since Allen's photo shoot when he was shaken awake by a familiar redhead with so much energy in his voice that he could've lit up the entire town.

"ALLEN! ALLEN! ALLENALLENALLEN!"

Allen cursed under his breath, sighing as he flopped over unceremoniously onto his stomach and pressed the ends of his pillow to his ears.

"ALLEN! ALLEN! ALLEN!"

"Brhhry hrrr rrrbbii."

The redhead paused before resuming his frantic shaking.

"HEY SHORTSTACK, YOU GOTTA GET UP."

Immediately, Allen twisted onto his back and shot up like a switchblade. He glared.

"I'm not that short!"

"But Allen, listen to me!"

"Goodness Lavi, it's seven in the bloody morning!"

"I know, but Allen, listen to this—."

"Lavi, what could POSSIBLY be SO IMPORTANT as to wake me up at—."

"YOU GOT BOOKED BY THE AGENCY."

The two just stared at each other; one's an electric green and the other's an ever widening pool of silver. Both had almost comical black circles under their eyes from lack of sleep and both of their hairs were tousled and standing on end.

"Allen? Did you hear me? You made it, baby! You—mmpphhmmphh!"

Allen couldn't hear anything but glorious bells chiming in his head as he grabbed the back of Lavi's head and smashed their lips together. His legs snaked around Lavi's waist and clasped around his back. He fervently breathed through his nose and opened his mouth, his tongue enthusiastically licking at the stunned redhead's lips. His fingers tangled in the mess of crimson as he made a noise of sheer contentment and jubilation—not even stopping to think about how closely it resembled that of a prepubescent girl's squeal.

After a few moments of stricken gaping, Lavi joined in on Allen's less than orthodox way of celebrating—quite honestly enjoying any form of romantic and/or sexual contact from the latter seeing as they hadn't gone all the way for almost a year.

He pulled away for a quick breath of air, staring into hazy content eyes below him before ravishing the lips that had begun to smile against his. The two were grinning ear to ear as their kiss subsided from gleeful passion to simply glee.

"So does that count as something important enough to wake you up at seven in the morning for, your highness?"

"Mmm, yes, I suppose it does. Lavi—thank you."

"And as…_amazing_ of a workout I'm getting from this 'exercise', I must say that my back is beginning to smart."

The boy beneath him instantly withdrew his legs from around Lavi's waist, blushing as he drew them close to his chest.

"S-Sorry."

There was no forgiveness needed, and therefore no speech as Lavi lazily rolled over next to Allen on the bed and stretched out his body like a cat—yawning like one too.

His new model of a lover rolled on top of his sturdy chest, humming happily as leaving butterfly kisses on his neck.

"I'm dreaming." He breathed.

Lavi's hand snaked around Allen's waist, going lower before pinching his butt.

"OW!" he yelped, giving Lavi an angry stare as he rubbed the surely reddening flesh.

"Why did you—!"

"You're not dreaming!" the other reasoned, flashing a smile which in turn began to force Allen to do the same.

Early morning cuddling, Allen decided, was one of the best kinds of morning activities.

The two half-asleep lovers continued to cuddle in silence, the sun rising and seeping through white cotton curtains as birds began to twitter and chirp.

That is—until Allen opened one of his eyes.

"Don't you have to go to work?"

"…right."

Grudgingly and with a herculean effort, they untangled themselves from each other.

"When will you be home today?" Allen asked, padding into the tile floored bathroom where Lavi was currently washing his face.

"Ah, I'm not sure."

"That's what you say every day."

"Well it's the truth."

"Laviiii."

The taller of the two wiped his face with a towel, setting it down and kissing Allen's forehead. His breath smelled minty and fresh as he whispered,

"Maybe today'll be different."

"It better be. I'm starting to think I live here alone." Allen grumbled as he shoved his toothbrush into his mouth.

To that, Lavi laughed—strolling back out into the room to get dressed.

**000**

"Good bye, Allen. Have a nice day." Lavi smiled, opening the door and letting himself out.

He turned to face Allen from the other side of the door, and his smile fell.

"Allen, you know I have to—."

"I know, I know."

Allen wished he weren't so disappointed at this, but it had just been so long since—

"I'll try not to be so late this time, I promise. But I'm running late, so give me a smile, yeah?"

After a minute of silence and no smile, Lavi leaned in to capture those frowning lips. Allen instantly reacted, tangling his fingers into Lavi's hair and wrapping a leg around his hip. He missed Lavi, he missed seducing people, and this would have to do for now.

Through his second surprise kiss of the morning, the redhead smiled and held onto Allen's waist, thinking that maybe running late wasn't so bad after all.

After realizing that perhaps being _too_ late would cause more unnecessary catty outbursts at work, Lavi gently removed Allen's leg from his hip, moving his hold on his waist to his shoulders.

He pulled away and gave Allen one last sweet kiss before grinning—satisfied with the day-dreamy expression on Allen's face.

"Bye, Allen."

"Bye…" the boy murmured with a small smile.

Allen cursed in his head when he closed to door. He had let Lavi go too easily! This wouldn't be over yet; he still wanted more time to be with him.

With that, Allen wandered around the apartment left alone with his thoughts again. After a few minutes of walking around and thinking of everything that had happened that morning, he went into the bedroom to change.

He had unfinished business to attend to.

**000**

**OMFG. WHAT IS THIS BUSINESS BBS SPEAKS OF? Well who knows? It can be a number of things I mentioned throughout this entire chapter. There are about 3 or 4 possibilities…but which one is correct?**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.**

**Reviews are hugs, yeah?**

**Hang in there, review, and I'll see you guys soon!**


	48. Redemption

**BBS IS OUT OF SCHOOOOOOL. Summer vacation is such a fantastic thing, guys. But you know what SUCKS about summer? The summer assignments I have to complete in order to take advanced classes in this next coming school year. Yeah. Totally fun times ahead.**

**Well, it's been a week (sorry!) since I was released from that prison. It only took me this long because I wanted to enjoy a taste of summer with nothing to do at all but be lazy, eat, and sleep. But now, here is the newest chapter! Hope you enjoy. HAPPY SUMMER!**

**000**

The sun was out, but there were still mild breezes that made Allen shiver. He had grabbed one of Lavi's orange scarves, sighing in delight the minute he picked it up and wrapped it around his neck. It would serve as something of comfort for when he reached his destination.

The streets were packed with people on the way to work, perhaps to grab a coffee beforehand. Allen immediately felt unprepared when he realized that he had rushed out of the apartment without a direction in mind. He was lucky that the first person he had asked knew how to reach his destination. He was told that it would take a while to get there, but Allen estimated that he'd return home before Lavi was off of work.

He quickly thanked the stranger, bowing a little before scurrying off to the nearest train station. He'd brought his wallet along with him; he had just enough for a round trip fare. A dull jingle told him that he had a few coins, also. He fumbled with his money, stammering and trembling as he received his ticket. The crowds on the platform were intimidating, but he knew that he had to push on in order to catch the train. Wrapping Lavi's scarf tighter around his neck and chin, taking a deep breath, and murmuring hasty apologies—Allen shoved his way through the crowd and crammed himself behind the automatic doors of the train.

He clutched his train ticket in his hand; he'd need it to get back home. With a low groan and a screech, the train began to move. There were too many people on the train for Allen to be able to sit down, so he remained awkwardly pressed against the doors. When there was finally an open seat, Allen made his way to it before seeing a woman with a small child strapped to her chest.

"Were you going to sit here?"

"N-No, it's fine! Go right ahead, I apologize." Allen would've felt horrible to take her seat.

"Are you sure?"

"Po-Positive!"

"Thank you, young man."

The woman gave him a look of intrigue—his eyes evidently catching her attention. He smiled warmly before another crowd shoved its way into the train, pinning Allen once more into the automatic doors. Luckily, they soon hissed and opened, an automated announcer telling him that this was his stop.

Gasping for breath, Allen stumbled out of the train—straightening his clothes and relieved to find that Lavi's scarf was undamaged and still smelled like…well, Lavi. This was what gave him a last push of courage to stride to the giant concrete building towering above him.

The inside was surprisingly hushed, only a few clanks of bars and the grinding of metal scraping metal was heard. No human voices. It began to unnerve Allen, but he knew that this was necessary for him to move on with a new beginning. After a few minutes of hushed chatting and aggravating security checks and searches, Allen was seated in front of a window that appeared to be made of glass. A few taps with his fist, however, soon indicated that it was even stronger.

There was a small hole at the base of this "window" and another seat behind it. The metallic clanking in the background of Allen's thoughts continued. His head began to spin with the anxiety, his leg quivering under his seat as if ready to bolt out the door.

That was when he heard the clanking of steel and dragging of chains grow progressively louder.

And louder…

Allen shuddered involuntarily, adjusting the scarf and trying to calm himself.

Tyki Mikk.

He was here to see Tyki Mikk.

The man looked absolutely miserable and insane; his golden eyes were now bronze, his hair was frazzled and not in the least the charming curls they used to fall in. He looked thin, worn, and tired.

Yet that unchanging smirk that began to spread on his lips made Allen want to hide under a rock.

"You two will be allowed twenty minutes to speak."

Allen nodded, his eyes widening in minor surprise—he had forgotten there was a guard there too. But now that guard walked back to his post. Thankfully out of ear's reach, yet still close enough to intervene if something were to go horribly wrong.

Tyki was the first to speak.

"Allen Walker, _every_ man's kitten and deluxe play thing has come to see old and tired me. I am truly _honored_."

Allen gritted his teeth at his old nickname. It reminded him of every single time he'd cry to himself at nighttime. All those strangers groaning his name without knowing him, saying they loved him without meaning it…

"In all honesty, I would have never expected such a grace to befall _me_. For a while I thought I'd _never_ see my precious kit again. But to think that indeed, my pet has returned to me…"

Jaw locked and eyes ablaze, Allen's fists clenched on his lap—yet the fear of the man that had tormented him his entire life kept his mouth from speaking.

"To think I was almost convinced you'd let me rot in here forever, but _no_. I knew you couldn't last long without me; the person who was always there for you when everyone else _fucked_ you and _left_. Ah, surely you remember _that_. When everything went to hell, I was always your stable—"

"Shut up."

It had been so long that he had to sit there and listen to this man spit lies into his face. So long that he had to bite his tongue when all he wanted to do was scream and tear his heart from his chest. So long that he had to keep this rage inside…

"You were never there. Don't you lie to me, _Tyki Mikk_. You were _never_ there. The person who fucked me and left was **you**. Don't try to weasel your way out of the truth."

"Shhh, hush now kitten, we wouldn't want—."

"I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING K-KITTEN."

Allen's voice echoed throughout the cold cement walls. The guard gave Allen a glance, but looked back away in understanding. He had been notified of the circumstances.

Allen's fists hurt from being pounded against the small countertop that held the window in place. In his fit of anger, he'd stood up—his knuckles white against the dingy concrete.

"Now Allen darling, listen to me, I know of no such lie—."

"No! _You_ listen to _me_! You don't deserve to talk right now! You will sit there and listen to me speak." Allen seethed, glaring wholeheartedly at the man behind the window.

"You," Allen had to take a breath to steady his shaking voice, "you have done nothing to me but abuse me. And what about all of my friends—the ONLY friends I'd ever had? You murdered all of them. You lied to me, you deceived me and damnit that was my fault but it's my time to tell you that you don't own me anymore. You never owned me.

"You never did a damn thing for my benefit. All those sleepless nights, all those days of me hating myself because of _you_. I am not your _pet_. I am not _yours_. I don't belong to _anybody_. Get that through your damn brain, Tyki. I am _human_. I'm not that kid that will believe your shit anymore."

Tyki sat still, his face blank.

"And you know what else? I'm happy now. I have someone who will always be there for me. Someone who treats me like I deserve to be treated. Someone who isn't a sly piece of crap who'd sell me out for drugs and money. I have someone you'll never have. No one will ever love you after they read those articles in the paper about the horrible things you've done, the crimes you've committed, and the people you have hurt."

"On the contrary—"

"Shut up, Tyki. Shut up." Allen growled—slamming his hand back onto the concrete counter.

"You've hurt me, you've _degraded_ me. You killed me inside. Everything you did and said to me only made me want to inch closer to dying. You made me feel as if I weren't human; as if my existence was solely to please you."

"But guess what;" Allen hissed through his teeth, "I want nothing to do with you. I never want to see you again after this; I never want to hear you. I never want to listen to your name be spoken until the day they find you dead in your jail cell. I have never, ever, hated someone as passionately as I've hated you. You make me sick. I hope you rot in here forever. That's what you deserve. You sick bastard, I hope you _rot_."

There was a moment of silence of Tyki simply sitting there and Allen's chest pumping up and down as he tried to slow his harried breathing. Another moment of silence passed as Allen slowly sank back down into his chair. Tears of anger were already clouding his vision beforehand; they just hadn't fallen until that very moment he sat down.

"But most importantly," Allen inhaled—quivering, "I came here to tell you I forgive you. And that I thank you."

There was a spark of shock in Tyki's eyes, although it was very subtle. But Allen knew. He'd known Tyki for years; he knew what every facial tic and expression meant.

"I forgive you for everything you've done to me and my friends. I want to let all of this go and leave it behind me. I have a life to live now. I have something to live for again.

"Thank you, Tyki. For being such a miserable prick," Allen smiled bitterly, "for being such a selfish jerk. Without that, I would have never found my salvation. If it weren't for the hell you put me through, I would have never discovered my heaven."

The spark of surprise had dulled; Tyki's face was still blank, but it told Allen that he was nevertheless listening to every word that left his lips.

"I'm going to be a model now, Tyki. Someone out there thinks I'm beautiful. Many people, in fact. I'm sorry that it wasn't you. I'm sorry I was never pliable enough for your liking, I'm sorry it had to be this way. Who knows—if we weren't in this situation," Allen leaned forward, his head ducking down to make eye contact with Tyki's downcast eyes.

"Perhaps we might've even become friends."

Tyki's eyes widened just a fraction for just a fraction of a second, but that too, was caught by Allen who smiled warmly.

His eyes then darted to a large old fashioned clock on a nearby wall. He looked at the guard who looked at him and nodded—signaling that their time was over.

"Good bye, Tyki."

No answer.

Tyki's face was still blank—not from a lack of emotion, but from a tidal wave of emotions that he couldn't explain for the life of him.

The fury, the joy, the confusion…the remorse.

A small "clink" broke the still air as Allen stood. He had taken a coin from his wallet and placed it under the small opening in the window. He slid it over to the other side.

"A penny for your thoughts."

With that, Tyki's eyes widened in unveiled shock, his eyes focused on the gleaming coin as the sounds of Allen's footsteps grew farther and farther away…

He lifted his heavy head just in time to see the boy's silhouette walk through the penitentiary doors.

**000**

**For those who didn't catch it, reread chapter 30 to find the line that was repeated.**

**Allen just got eeeeverything off his chest. Isn't that a wonderful feeling? I know from personal experience, it feels AMAZING to tell someone just EXACTLY is on your mind. **

**You guys should try it some time. :D**

**As long as it doesn't turn into an illegal crime, of course.**

**Click the button below because you love me! **


	49. Memory

**BBS here. I just want to say that I've truly fallen in love with this fanfiction and I'm so sad to see it come to a close—but alas, there are only a few chapters left before this flower runs out of petals.**

**You'll find that this chapter is a lot more descriptive, artistic, and (hopefully) emotional than usual. The cause would be the music I was listening to. Remember Imogen Heap? From chapter 33? **

**I HIGHLY recommend listening to her music. For this chapter specifically:**

"**Just For Now"**

**On repeat.**

**Note: There is a flashback in this chapter in **_**italics**_**.**

**Also note that there is a ONE YEAR TIME SKIP.**

**000**

It was a peaceful morning for September. The black gravel streets were illuminated with the soft golden light of the rising sun. A few early birds were walking down crosswalks yet were silent themselves all the same. The hush of an autumn breeze whispered through the city as Lavi's eyes flickered open. He swiveled his head right, left, down, up—reaching a hand to rub at the back of his somehow sore neck.

He glanced over at the sleeping form next to him. Allen's delicate ribcage was expanding and contracting as air cycled in and out of his weary body. His hair was strewn all over the pillows—white paint against a red canvas as his eyes flickered and twitched in a dream behind his butterfly-wing-thin eyelids. His cheeks were flushed the color of packaged bubblegum as a bit of drool painted his lips with a glossy sheen.

Another year had passed since the day Allen had thrown himself into his arms when he returned home. Another year since he sobbed uncontrollably, his tears freely dampening Lavi's shirt. Another year since he'd choked out words Lavi couldn't understand for the life of him. Another year since Allen had wrapped his thin frame around his chest—winding his spindly arms around his neck and bringing his trembling legs to embrace the safety of Lavi's waist.

They were silent the rest of that night.

They spoke to each other in glances and gentle touches. They spoke in kisses that were barely kisses. Glimmers of emotion that played hide and seek across their faces as their fingers slowly interlaced. Timid gazes, noses pressed into necks, and the brushing of cheeks…

They were silent the rest of that night.

Lavi sighed and brought a hand through his frazzled red hair. It had been so long, yet the scars of yesteryear still felt like wounds inflicted just days ago.

It took Allen a week to tell Lavi where he had been that day.

It took seconds for Lavi to pull him into his arms and kiss the living daylights out of him.

He hadn't known…

Of the pain that Allen had been keeping inside.

Of the catharsis that had set him free.

Of the chapter that had signaled the end of his and Allen's stories, and the once upon a time of their lives together.

A quiet mewl made Allen's eyelids begin to flutter before his eyes focused on the kitten that had pounced onto his lap.

"Hi, Tim…"

Lavi rolled his eyes.

That damned cat got more attention than he did.

"Hi, Allen." He spoke with a high pitched voice—imitating a now annoyed Allen as he kissed him.

"'lo, Lavi." Allen smiled, scratching behind Lavi's ears jokingly.

He knew that sometimes he neglected Lavi for his new kitten Timcanpy, but he couldn't help it! It was just a helpless kitten.

With amazingly sharp teeth.

Lavi pretended to purr when—

"OW! Son of a…"

Timcanpy was a strange kitten. It became evident when he grinned at Lavi with his giant set of shark teeth. The redhead shot the kitten an angry look, hissing in its general direction before he was interrupted by a light smack to the back of his head.

"Lavi!" Allen laughed as he sat up and made himself a human barrier before Tim could tear Lavi's face off.

"That kitten is—."

"_Getting a lot more attention from you than me and it's driving me insane, Allen. How did I even let you convince me to buy that demon cat_?" Allen smirked over his shoulder as he finished the classic rant his lover had developed the week before.

"Well, it's true!" Lavi sputtered as Allen stood from the sheets—his gorgeous long legs gracefully straightening as he clutched the evil, mangy, ball of teeth to his chest and walked out into the kitchen, presumably to feed said monster.

"That thing better not have rabies." Lavi muttered, inspecting the small teeth marks embedded into his hand.

He fell back onto his pillow, grabbing Allen's in the process and letting himself inhale the scent of the boy that had left him for a pitiful excuse of a feline.

The bed shifted ever so slightly as the redhead felt two familiarly thin legs straddle his waist. He decided to give Allen a taste of his own medicine and remained covered by the boy's pillow.

"Laaaaavi. Tim's feeding now, so that means we're all aloooone." A voice sang.

Silence.

"Lavi, you're being ridiculous." Allen huffed as he tried to wrench the pillow away from the man's grip.

Silence.

Unsuccessful, Allen settled for smacking the top of the pillow and sighing with exasperation.

"Fine, have it your way, darling. I suppose I'll just go see how Tim's holding u—."

The second Lavi felt legs un-straddling him, he threw off Allen's pillow from his face and grabbed the thin legs, throwing his weight to his left and successfully pinning his lover under him.

"Oh, no you don't."

A small hum came from under Lavi as he felt lips press against his. Allen was probably with him long enough to know that it was the fastest way to wipe that blasted smirk off of his face.

"Big day, today."

"Mmm…big day, today."

Today was Allen's photo shoot with a new clothing company that had begun to climb up in the ranks of fame. They would be sending someone to pick him up in a few hours or so.

The two stayed mutually silent as they lazily gazed at each other's faces—Allen unintentionally bursting out into laughter after a few moments. It was Lavi's turn to wipe that smile off of his face as he kissed Allen's lips; his lover's fading smile seeping onto his own.

"Do we have to get up today?"

"Mhm."

"Sure?"

"Mhm."

"Pooositive?"

"…"

"Lavi, stop that tickles!"

**000**

Lavi was the first out the door, giving Allen a kiss goodbye only to feel small paws furiously swatting at his leg.

The redhead grudgingly glared at the cat that threw him the most innocent look in return.

Damn that cat.

Thank goodness they'd de-clawed the little monster.

After closing and locking the door behind Lavi, Allen stretched his arms over his head and yawned as Tim mimicked his master, stretching his little paws out in front of him and lazily pressing his soft chest into the carpet.

Today was different in that he could stay at home for an hour or two later than usual. Usually, he'd catch a ride with Lavi to the studio but today was a special day that Lavi had made sure would be foolproof. He'd done a background check with the driver and the studio at Allen's request. Allen was relieved that he didn't have a problem with doing a few checkups with the other agency. He couldn't remember the redhead ever strongly objecting to take further measures to protect him.

Allen smiled warmly at the thought, running back into the bedroom and launching himself happily into the sheets—Timcanpy right on his trail. The kitten purred and stroked his elbow with his fuzzy head before crawling into Allen's lap. The boy absently ran his hand down the kitten's back as he sighed and laid his head back on the pillows.

He turned his head to stare at the untamed sheets with a slight indentation from where Lavi had lain. He was so good to him. He had never done him any harm. Even when Allen had so cruelly left him, he had returned because he refused to give up on him—on them.

Ever since their first meeting, Allen knew that Lavi would never hurt him like the other men that he had slept with. From the moment Lavi walked into his dingy hotel room, he knew things would change.

**000**

"_So," Allen purred, "What can I do for you today?"_

"_I suppose we'll have to figure that out as they happen." Lavi smiled weakly._

"_Have you ever been with another male?" Allen crooned, running the back of his hand down the man's cheek._

"_No, I haven't—to be honest." _

"_I'll make sure it's fantastic. You'll," Allen straddled the man sitting on his bed, "__**never**__ forget this night."_

_When Allen leaned in with his soft mouth open, swooping in for a sloppy open-mouthed kiss, the redheaded man had stopped him. With a small huff of frustration, Allen spoke._

"_What's wrong, baby? It'll feel good, I promise."_

"_Do you want to do this?"_

_The boy's breath hitched at the abrupt question. His sexy __façade__ had shattered with the innocent question._

"_Wh-what?"_

"_Don't you get tired of men doing this to you all the time? I know I'm not your first."_

"_I," A long pause, "it's not like I can help it." _

"_Can't you?" the man asked, leaning back on his hands._

_Allen had no words for that—he could barely think straight with the lack of food he'd had that week. Intoxicated with frustration and the haze of semi-consciousness, Allen smashed his mouth against his client's. He slipped his tongue into his mouth as he'd always done. _

_He wrapped his arms and legs around him, unwinding an arm to stroke the man's face as he continued to coax the other tongue to play. To respond._

_To stop asking questions._

_To stop making him hope for anything better than this._

_When the man didn't respond, Allen tore his lips from the other's, not even trying to hide his anger anymore as he spat,_

"_What's your problem?"_

"_Tell me yours, first."_

"_Look. Do you want to get laid or not? What do you want from me? You want me to suck your dick or give you a lap dance, or what? Stop fucking around with me and let me fuck you."_

"_Your eyes are lying to me."_

_What was this man spewing? Was he mentally incapacitated?_

"_What?"_

"_Your eyes…they lie so beautifully to me."_

"_Look, I don't know what you came here for—"_

"_Do you want me to do this? Do you want to do this with me?"_

"_Yes, I do. Trust me, I do. I promise, just please—"_

"_You're lying again."_

"_Goddamnit, what do you want from me!"_

"_Shhh…" Lavi whispered as if speaking to an injured animal._

_He slowly stroked the angry tears falling from Allen's eyes as he leaned in for the softest kiss Allen had ever felt._

_When the boy tried to deepen it by slipping his tongue into Lavi's mouth, the man pulled away._

_They shared eye contact._

_Lavi leaned in for another soft kiss._

_When Allen tried once again to get their tongues to make contact, the redhead retreated once more._

_This happened a few more times before Allen finally gave up and sat perfectly still, letting Lavi do whatever the hell he was going to do._

_A kiss. It was just a kiss…_

"_Why? What's the purpose of this?"_

"_You're beautiful, Allen."_

"_I…thanks, but I think we should probably," Allen snaked a hand onto Lavi's crotch giving it a small squeeze, "finish this."_

"_Shhhh, wait a minute." Lavi whispered, leaning in for another kiss as he wrapped his arms around Allen's waist._

_It was the sweetest and most innocent kiss Allen had ever felt in his life._

_It wasn't full of lust or danger. It was still and silent. _

_Yet it spoke more words to Allen than everything he'd ever heard in his lifetime combined._

_They were kisses of affection, kisses for the sake of kisses._

_Kisses of comfort, kisses that did not require tongues to prove their worth._

It was Allen's first real kiss.

_It made his heart flutter and goose bumps to rise on his delicate skin._

_Allen began to cry at the sensation, weeping and sniffling against those lips that were still pressed against his. His hands clutched Lavi's shoulders—wondering what all this meant. Who was this person? What was he doing? What did he think he was doing? _

_They spent their entire first night like that. Pressing gentle kisses onto each other's lips. Letting their fingertips trace the soft flesh of their arms and faces._

_Allen eventually fell asleep against Lavi, their heartbeats mingling. _

_When he awoke—he was all alone again. _

_Was it a dream? Who was that man with red hair that didn't…that didn't do anything to him? He glanced over to his nightstand to find paper bills fanned out for him with a phone number scrawled on a scrap of paper._

_It was more money than Allen could have earned from two blowjobs and a lap dance._

_For mere kisses._

_His tears fell again as he kissed the slip of paper and whispered the name written on it—vowing to never forget that name ever again._

**000**

Allen felt stupid when he began to shed tears at the memory.

Stupid redhead—always making him cry.

He rubbed at his eyes vigorously, blushing when Timcanpy began to meow and cry on his lap. He evidently felt the strong emotions washing over his owner.

Allen laughed and picked him up, nuzzling his nose against the kitten's.

"Oh Tim. What am I going to do with you?"

A meow.

Another laugh.

"Oh goodness, I'm not supposed to be crying. It'll ruin my entire face." Allen chuckled, wiping the last of his tears.

He set the golden kitten on the sheets before heading into the bathroom to wash his face and prepare for his photo shoot.

Sunlight seeped through the curtains and into the room.

**000**

**Pfftt. B'awwww. Touching blast from the past.**

**Just want to thanks everyone again for the wonderful reviews and support. I'm truly touched by everything you guys do for me. I honestly don't think this would've gotten past chapter 1 if it weren't for all your kind words. **

**I can only hope there will be more kind words to come.**

**Thank you. **


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